I appreciate the constructive criticism. Under normal circumstances with a Jewish and European woman, you would be somewhat right, but I am neither, so there are special problems.

I am very clear about what it is that I am looking for. In fact, I make a clear distinction between what I would like ideally, and what I will settle for if this is unavailable for the moment. I am also very selective and open about how I filter even mainly sexual prospects.

The problem is that it doesn’t matter what I say or how I behave. They have their beliefs, and those remain in spite of the reality of the situation. I am talking and doing things or not doing things, and they have this script in their heads that they are following anyway.

As far as where I hunt, Atraf is not the only site, and online is not my only hunting ground. There is the same set of problems with assimilated Israeli guys whether I meet them on Atraf or in a pub or through friends. The good thing about Atraf is that it is an efficient way of filtering out the completely stupid or crazy before they get to me. People are generally more honest in Atraf because there is no reason not to be. It is the dirtiest hole on the Israeli internet next to The Cage.

Just because guys are sexual, it doesn’t mean this is all there is to them. Most of them would like more than this. It’s just that most of them have hangups that do not allow them to see a woman who is not of their same ethnicity and/or religion as suitable for more than this. But rather than avoid us, like people in most countries would do, they are happy to exploit us sexually. It’s a sort of scratch on the middle eastern brain that I like to call the “donkey fucker”. They will have sex with someone they view as an animal because they were brought up to believe that we exist to be harmed by them, and that sex is a way of harming people.

I believe it was the author Gabi Nitzan who explained that in Israeli sexuality, the women are viewed as holding a treasure, and men are viewed as thieves stealing from them. Israeli women who fit within the established structures are difficult to get sex from without cost or accountability. So women outside the established structures are expected and then even if they don’t fit those expectations, demanded to be the easier alternative.

My problems were pretty much solved when I understood this, and stopped following the American sexual script and therefore being the easier alternative. I don’t completely conform to the Israeli women’s “sexual trade union”, but a guy will need to show a certain level of enthusiasm and manhood to get in. I don’t take it personally when they are unwilling to do this. I just move on.

I have found though, somewhat to my dismay since aesthetically I like dark men as much as the Santas, that eastern European guys are the ones holding the line. Those who haven’t completely assimilated have no problems whatsoever proving their manhood because it’s not a matter of proof but normal behavior. Once they understand who they’re talking to, the rest is a matter of individual compatibility. This is probably because they don’t usually have the script running in their heads, and there is, in most of their cultures, a context for the “sassy old broad”.