Sumit, thank you for weighing in. This discussion needed an Asian perspective.

It does not escape me that the ones pushing hardest for “anything goes” are Americans of European ancestry who are, for the most part, very disconnected from their heritage. They can’t learn the lessons of their past, even on the level of a kinky German or French person, because they’re in a sort of stubborn denial.

Though no place or culture is perfect, those that are older have been over the cycles of desperation to decadence enough times to understand that too much decadence is as much an enemy as too much strictness. We need to find a balance…and part of that is accepting that one can’t have it both ways. One simply can’t do a thing and that action not have any consequences or affect on them or those who are closest to them.

There are ways for a person to get their freak on and still have a healthy family life. There are ways to encourage one’s partner to explore without coercion. Though our previous ideals may have been unrealistic, the answer is not to trade one unrealistic ideal for another just as bad.