The question has been posed to me anonymously, of when it is okay to have sex with an Israeli guy.
The simple answer is: never.
Well, that is not the whole answer, but that should be your outward attitude towards sex when in Israel. Israeli women have mostly mastered the art of being beautiful but unattainable. You may notice when you are walking around anywhere in public, they are almost scowling all the time except when addressing a child or another woman.
I used to think it was a bad thing, and it kind of is, but it’s not a bad thing about the women as individuals. It’s because of something bad about the culture. In other conservative places, women tend to be polite and friendly, but it’s just understood that you won’t have an easy time getting them into bed. Here in Israel, any friendliness on a woman’s part is interpreted as an invitation to sex, the same way politeness or consideration for others is interpreted as weakness and gullibility.
So the default setting should be that not only are you non inviting, but you will punish them for moving too quickly. In the U.S. you can make them wait until date #3, but in Israel, no matter how many dates there have been, you need to make them wait a month or longer.
You can express interest, but you have to make them wait a long, long time if you want them to respect and appreciate you. If you do it sooner, you give up power in the relationship, even if it is relatively casual.
Especially if it is casual, or this is how it starts, it should be clear that casual = disposable. If they aren’t offering anything solid or interesting to you; any kind of reward for your efforts, then they are a toy that you use begrudgingly to amuse yourself.
If they misbehave, then don’t even tell them why you don’t want to see them again. Just don’t. Don’t answer their calls or messages.
It’s a strange balance: you are supposed to behave like you hate that you need sex at all, and when you do have it with them, it is like you’re having a fit of passion that you hate having, and when it’s done, you don’t care if you see them again because you’re ashamed that you did it.
Yeah, things are topsy-turvy here.There are exceptions, but they are few and far between, and mostly over 50. Relationships in Israel are a power game, and they like it this way. There is no fighting the culture. If you are too easy, physically or emotionally, then you are worthless, especially if you’re foreign. So to balance, “when in Rome…” Treat Israeli guys a little worse than Israeli women treat them. You can be kind to them only when they have done something astronomically altruistic for you.