In the spirit of not being an asshole, I make some concessions in my writing and speech to account for the spectrum of gender because this is something that one is either born with or is totally unconscious. I won’t make such concessions with politics because it is something people choose. When a party or faction’s most prominent members go anti science and anti nature, the further they go, the less they deserve “naxalt” clarification.

I won’t use “men who don’t have this sexual interest” to describe self identified incels who believe they shouldn’t need to adhere to classic male behavioral models to be attractive to women who adhere to classic female behavioral models. Feminists will get no such quarter from me either. People who identify with groups who typically don’t believe in reciprocation and mutuality need to do their own clarification.

One of the sane aspects of postmodernism is that you don’t have to coddle your fellows or take personally the consequences of mistakes they make that you don’t. You can be a feminist who admits a bias that all us outspoken women have towards our sex, but tempers that with some other statement or label that ensures you won’t be mistaken for the crazy crowd.

Since we’ve gone this far into the age of technology, I think it’s about time we went all the way into the postmodernism that goes with it. Let go of the idealism of the past, and the need to be right or righteous in the way of non confrontational. Avoidance and denial serves us not at all, especially as women. We can’t afford to get too much into our heads without our feet on the ground.

For me, the choice of wording is about precision and to some degree, boundaries. I don’t want to give guys bad advice, so I have to make it clear that they are in some danger attempting a classic male nonverbal pursuit with a non classic female. There’s also the issue that though politics is a choice, one can’t really know why someone made that choice. It may be that they chose to identify that way because of hypervigilance related to PTSD. So there’s an emotional safety issue there on both sides.

If a guy encounters a self identified or known feminist, even if she enjoys primal sex, that political identification means consent must be explicit, or one should take things a little more slowly than with someone who makes it clear she is up for it. Many of them do not like being physically contained. Even if it won’t send some into rape panic, many consider this an unpleasant aspect of sex with men, which is how it became unpopular or forgotten. Men stopped going there because they were told by feminists raising them and teaching them that it was bad.