According to my surgeon, I will come full circle on the IronWynch thing in May or June. It’s cutting a little close to the move to a new apartment in August, but honestly, I don’t care if I have to crawl away from this place. It is a great apartment with awesome ghosts. I have received many blessings here, but those only came after we made it clear that we’re not enablers for their wayward daughter. For as long as they are anchored somewhat to this realm for some reason, they are welcome to come with me when I go, but I don’t want to be under the domain of their kid anymore. Unless they can work some dark miracle before August, we are out.
As it turns out, there’s a reason the plans did not make any sense. Our neighbor upstairs is furious about the whole situation, and I don’t blame her. Their real plan will reduce the value of her place, not to mention create a horrible eyesore and possibly discomfort and damage if they put a boiler on the roof of the place. Imagine if you will, a solar panel radiating through your window in the middle of summer…or better yet, someone building a wall inches from what was window to your back yard.
I think Shai is starting to feel his age. Asking him to get something for me from the postal pickup that’s about a 7 minutes walk away is too much now. He grumbles like it’s because he’s an asshole, but I think the truth is that the walk might sometimes hurt him as much as it hurts me.
I’m prepared for this. It’s one reason I am getting the knee surgery this year and not waiting until I really can’t walk anymore. Soon I’ll need to be making postal runs for him. So the plan is take care of the right knee, recover, sort out the left knee, recover, and then hopefully I’ll be back to my walking forever as long as there’s sunlight and an open road self.
Red Lightning seems to be going through a phase. He’s still responsive, but I haven’t seen him in months. He says he’s alright, just busy. I hope he is actually alright and just busy. My insecurities have risen and fallen about him, and I understand that his situation is a common one though a terrible one. I get that as the woman, I should not give a fuck, and stand by my demands, which I do. I understand though, as an older woman with some years under her belt and a fair bit of mileage in matters of the heart, that weeks and months are not years…and some things are not solved for years.
My new lurve thang…some things are going down, about which I’ve done some writing. I’ll save those posts for a few months from now after I’ve had some time to process things. I’m in the middle of the emotions, and I can’t really see right now whether I’m just whining, or whether what I have to say about it is artistically meaningful or emotionally relevant to other women or loved ones of women in a similar situation to myself here in Israel. Better to be silent until I can parse this better.
In general, things are changing, but for the good. I’m learning and growing, and can’t really complain. Life has brought me many opportunities to develop. I am grateful.