The Ferrous Scrolls

According to CNN and Dr. Kanazawa, being smart makes men more inclined to be monogamous and yet somehow more liberal and atheist.

…

Sorry, but I have to call bullshit on this one.  If a guy is more intelligent, liberal and atheist, he should be more likely to be polygamous or some other flavor of “deviant” (in a good way usually).

Anytime someone wants to make you feel bad for being an oddball, remember what you’re about to see here:

Today I got a call from Longstroke.  One of his coworkers attempted suicide this past Saturday.

She is a non Jewish, Phillipine woman whose Israeli boyfriend dumped her saying that it’s because she’s not Jewish.  He said he’s found someone Jewish, and has decided to go with her on that basis.

Much like me, the feeling that washed over her was fatal, but suicidal rather than homicidal.  She’s a much nicer person than me.  She didn’t have the requisite callous to consider the person speaking to her so utterly worthless that he wasn’t worth time in the hospital or jail.

Hearing her story makes me wonder if not murdering the guys who had the gaul to say those words to me was indeed the right thing to do.  Maybe if we did kill them when they did that, word would get out and they’d stop using non Jewish (or non Arab or non Druze, respectively) women on the pretense of a relationship.

Then again, the vast majority of people, men included, are stupid and shallow.  So the only real payoff in butchering a sheep is individual deterrent, unless one is in a visible enough leadership position to call it “making an example”.  Since we’re considered insignificant and disposable, cost/benefit has to be done on the spot.  I didn’t think it was worth incarceration, so I stayed my hand.

Her…I don’t know.  She’s already harmed herself, so she might think it’s worth it to harm him.  So before she wastes her life in a more externalized way, I’m going to try to have a talk with her to help her gain some perspective.

Now that I feel more at home here, I see people like this guy as people who poop in the public pool.  He and people like him do their dirt and expect the rest of us not to mind the mess they make.  Well I mind, and Longstroke minds.  Lots of people here mind, but we’re shouted down by the idiots.

I can’t honestly say what is the right thing to do under these circumstances.  So I’m not going to approach her with morality or the virtues of being a merciful martyr…just the cold, hard truth: she wasted 5 years of her life on Osama’s meat puppet.  He is a broken Jew.  He doesn’t have the nuts to either keep to his own or be honest about his intentions.  For people like that, harming a non Jew is some kind of mitzvah, so any pain that comes out of their cowardice is like a bonus.

She made a mistake in harming herself over that worthless individual who hates himself so much that he would stick his cock into someone he himself views as a farm animal.  He should never see a tear from her, much less blood.  If she had succeeded, he would probably be overjoyed…laugh about it with his new girlfriend and male friends.

So she has to live, and has to do well with her life, and give him nothing but the smell of her afterburn, surpassing him in every way.

In this case, living well is indeed the best revenge.

Down the road, when you’re the one who loved out of the box, and they’re the pathetic weakling who scurried back under the skirt of conformity, you find your life better than theirs in many ways.  You know what hard work and sacrifice is.  They don’t.  They will never be able to do anything that is truly difficult.  It’s like the glass ceiling for pussies.

They are forever limited by their inability to do what it takes to get anything that is truly worth having.  The most they can expect from their lives is the equivalent of mindless servitude in so many ways.

You do what you do based on your ambitions and abilities…not those imposed on you by people who convince you that it’s okay to live like a slave.  It must really suck to be such a slave that even one’s heart is up for auction.

Ah well…survival of the fittest.

I often think that most people who say that to justify what they believe to be their own cruelty, don’t realize that the fittest in the exchange is the one who survives their pathetic attempt at harm.

I hope this woman is a survivor.  If not, there’s nothing I can do for her.

About the Fort Hood Shooter, Nidal Malik Hasan, his imam, Faizul Khan says,

“On a form filled out by those seeking spouses through a program at the mosque, Hasan listed his birthplace as Arlington, Va., but his nationality as Palestinian, Khan said.

“I don’t know why he listed Palestinian,” Khan said, “He was not born in Palestine.”

Nothing stood out about Hasan as radical or extremist, Khan said.”

Oh really?

Okay, say I’m the preacher at the local church, and one of my parish lists his nationality as Dixie, and runs around praising the KKK as heroes.  If and probably when they do something insanely violent, when the media comes to me asking if he seemed like an extremist, what do you figure I’d say?

Yes.  Yes I knew the guy was a nutbar, and that it was probably only a matter of time before something happened.  I’m surprised that when he began his killing spree, he didn’t come to my office first, because I took him aside on numerous occasions and tried to explain to him the dark direction his beliefs were taking him in.

Imams, priests, preachers, study leaders, spiritual counselors, and nurturing laymen, we can do better than this.  We must do better than this.

I personally don’t think it matters whether a person believes in God or not.  If there is one, it exists whether we believe in it or not.  The only one in that exchange who is affected by the belief is the believer.

The believer is the source of the belief, so people whose minds can’t imagine a perfect God or a functioning universe will constantly be at odds with nature.  They can’t begin to surpass themselves because they can’t understand or believe in themselves.  They can not believe that everything was made as it was, regardless of how they believe things were made.  Because of this, they can’t think of a way to enhance things.  You have to know what’s there to figure out how to make it better, or even if it needs improvement.

So God or nature becomes an excuse for personal failures that are within their power to change, but apparently not within their will…or it would seem so anyway.  I personally believe that one’s will is part of one’s power.

On a personal or societal level, to direct things to how they should be, one has to first know (well enough anyway) what is.  If one refuses to see what is, they will fail or lead themselves or others into destruction.

Both camps are guilty of leading people to destruction because thusfar, few seem to be willing to face the way things are, including the human imagination and will, or how they relate to each other.

Religious people claim to believe in an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, unfathomable God and yet they reduce it to little more than a hatless Santa Claus each time they pray for any purpose but gratitude.  Non religious people claim not to believe in God, and instead, reduce the universe to something that should be their hatless Santa Claus every time they hope for anything but what they have earned.  So they have a god they believe will part the Red Sea for them.  I like to call it the Denial Fairy.

I have a sort of hobby of naming people’s god or at least their anthropos figure by their behavior.  One can tell who they really worship by what they do.

Whichever it is though, nature is still what it is, and none of us is smarter than it.  Worst case, we can make this tiny rock we infest uninhabitable, but said rock will still orbit the sun until it is consumed by it.  So I’m trying to live in peace with my fellow inhabitants unless they don’t want to live in peace with me.  If the latter is the case, then it’s on.

Whether I am a child of God or merely a gob of flesh, my life is important to me.  I give and receive much love, and for this I am grateful.  I live on a planet that has many habitable areas where I could live rather pleasantly for years with nothing but my wits, and should I lose those, my suffering will not be long.  I will die of dehydration or exposure, and my body will feed some worms and flies that may someday feed a toad or maybe a fish that may someday feed a bigger fish or maybe even a child.  I am a part of the cycle of life, and when that stops, I will be a part of the collection of minerals that make up this universe.

It’s nice to think there may be a God.  I don’t presume what it is, if it exists in the ways I can possibly imagine existence, or try to parse its will aside of what is naturally creative and destructive, and the balance between those that sustains life.  No book is needed to see this, though reading the ideas of others on the matter helps as a nice springboard for forming one’s own ideas.  Everything we need to know, and may instinctively know already is spelled out in flesh and blood…and in trees and stones.

On the 8th of this month, I entered the last year of my thirties.  I should probably be mourning, but I’m not.  I went to the shouk today for groceries, and got a new “agalah” on the way.  The old one served me well for more than two years, but it’s bent all to heck now.  The new one is prettier than the old one was, but not as good.  This one will probably last half a year.

Fender instructed me to tell him the next time I go to the shouk because (as I suspected) he is a “collecter” there, and I’d get things at cost or free, but I disobeyed.  It has taken me some time to establish a good rapport and relationships with the merchants there, and I don’t want that corrupted even if corruption is normal here.  If we ever break up, things would get really awkward if I took advantage while we’re together.  I don’t like to owe anybody.  In a way, I think that’s one of the things that makes me most attractive to him.  Hell if I’m going to become a grocery whore now.  That would be the equivalent of a guy becoming clingy and obsessive.  People don’t always know that they don’t really want what they say they want.

As a woman, my game (as in rules of engagement and principles, not fakeness) probably has nothing to do with whether or not he’s attracted to me sexually, but it does have alot to do with respect.   If it doesn’t make a difference either way, why not keep that little extra edge?

If he wants to get all providerey, then he has to at least let me whore honestly.  I don’t mean sexually because that’s an even exchange.  I mean actual services like braiding his hair, pimping his website and the like.  A couple of five hour cornrow sessions is worth a couple of weeks’ groceries.

In other news, on the way home, a cab driver wanted to talk to me about the Obamas.  It seems to be the favorite topic for young guys trying to make conversation with me and demonstrate how non racist they want me to think they are.  When we got to the point of talking about Michelle Obama, he said she seems to be a bit of a snob.  She doesn’t smile genuinely a whole lot, and her manner seems very strict.

So I told the guy the truth: Michelle grew up in a country where aside of some overcompensating Black nationalists, everyone else there is telling us that we’re the ugliest women in the world.  He seemed shocked.  His mouth literally hung open in disbelief.

So then I told him about my junior high and high school experiences.  I got called an ugly bitch multiple times every day for seven years, when I was about half my current weight, wore a 34 DD, ran, and did martial arts.  The few times in those years that someone other than a relative or platonic friend told me I was beautiful, they were either trying to get into my pants, or said it in that smarmy overcompensating “Black is beautiful” way.

If Michelle Obama was unaffected by, or fully recovered from this, her hair would either be its natural texture, or straightened with enough care that she wouldn’t have cicatrical alopecia.  It is possible for a Black woman to have long straight hair that is fairly healthy.  It wouldn’t be optimally healthy, but it would be stronger than the typical relaxer-head.

There’s a way people do things when it’s just a style choice, and a way people do things when it’s part of an unhealthy pattern.  Hopefully now that she’s got access to some of the best stylists on the planet, some African or Caribbean woman will show her the way.

So the driver says to me that he can’t believe that American men genuinely consider Black women ugly.  He says they’re just saying that because secretly they want us or something.  I told him that perhaps it is so sexually.  There was alot of racially based sex tourism and prostitution going on before the double whammy of prohibition and new feminism made us forbidden and then angelic martyrs.  However, I said, they love us like someone loves finding a $20 bill laying on the ground.

It’s $20.  One doesn’t care if it’s a little dirty.  It’s money.  So as long as a woman has a vagina, she’ll find some penis that wants in, especially if she’s objectively beautiful.  However, if she isn’t socially convenient, the guy will hope that he can screw her without having to actually treat her like a human being, to do it.

…and yes, I went there, and said, “…much like Jewish guys treat non Jewish women here, and Arab guys treat non Arab women here.   Only in the U.S. the guys at least have enough class to avoid a woman they consider substandard.  Here they’ll just lie to her about how liberal they are…but in the end, we get the message here too.”

I then explained, this is the situation Michelle Obama grew up in.  We’re not allowed to be nice and congenial.  If we are, we get branded as sluts or easy targets for abuse.  So we have two socially allowable personas: snob and bitch.  She doesn’t want to act like a bitch, so she has to act like a snob.  Otherwise, people will talk more trash about her than they do already.

Away from the public eye, we can be ourselves, but so long as the camera is rolling, we have to be hard or be stepped on.  As intelligent and accomplished as she is, Americans think she’s ugly…and it’s better to be an ugly girl with some dignity and power than it is to be one without dignity or power.

So he says, “That explains alot.”  I asked what, and he told me that most Black women he knows here are very snobby.  I told him to be grateful that a good African upbringing doesn’t allow them to become bitches.  We both laughed.

Since Roissy told me to shoot myself, I’ve been reading the site occasionally, but not commenting.  I like some of the guys who comment there, who often have constructive things to say.  Some don’t often have much constructive to say, but it’s instructive on the minds of men.  Since nobody knows men like men, it’s good to have sites like Relationships @Blog-city and Roissy in DC (comments are more interesting than the main posts) to keep us girls with religious dads aware.  Some things our fathers can’t really talk about, and/or don’t have much experience dealing with.

One thing my dad did try to teach me, that I of course had to learn the hard way, is about not throwing one’s pearls to the swine.  Silly me, I was on a mission to try to save westerners from psychosexual annihilation.  I kind of still am, but only those who are looking for it.  I don’t go reaching out anymore.  I’m Google beloved enough that if someone is looking for me, they’ll find me…and nature comfortable enough to accept that there will be very few who look.

So today, rather than breaking my dead-to-roissy status, I’ll observe and comment from afar, on an easily browsable example of why it’s not a good idea to take advice on love or even pickup artistry from wannabes.  I know some of you out there think I’m going to get on his case specifically for talking trash about his target du jour, Lady Rain, but that’s not what’s going to happen.  He’s allowed whatever opinion he likes on whoever.  He doesn’t like her, and he doesn’t have to.  I’d be the last person to argue that someone should like someone they don’t, or that they should pull punches when they are offended.

Thing is though, one’s method and delivery indicates more about one’s own personality than that of the person they’re “attacking”.  The idea, when handing out any kind of verbal or textual smackdown for which the prize is greater influence, is to make yourself look more credible, and the opponent, less so.

In this case, Roissy utterly and miserably failed.  I am sure however, that he would argue otherwise.

A bit of backstory, like most women, she doesn’t seem to understand the nature of game.  Women’s sexual attractive power is mostly based on looks (whatever’s attractive/popular in a particular culture), and their relationship attractive power on social convenience.  So basically all a woman has to be to get laid is available, laid well is popular looks, and married socially convenient apparently regardless of looks.  In the west, since the whore/wife requirements are overly overlapped, character means very little until something goes wrong.  Since most people are not very independent thinkers, it means little even then.  Men and some Lesbians will make the same mistakes repeatedly, and not understand why they are suffering for their stupidity.

Women don’t seem to get this.  Beauty is their most important asset in securing a mate, with scarcity running a close second.  Since women’s perceptions are less easily manipulated by society, their preferences are still for men who display classically masculine traits.  In order for a heterosexual woman to break away from that aspect of her nature, she would have to fully distance sex from reproduction.  Men, especially weak ones, are more easily able to do this, so their perceptions of beauty are more malleable.

Women don’t generally understand game because both the mechanics and the stakes are different.  It’s not usually a problem unless a woman is overly vocal about her opinions on a side of the gender spectrum she doesn’t live in.  It also doesn’t help when the “men” she’s talking to are almost as far from manhood as she is.

Unlike myself, Lady Rain has no sympathy for the weak.  In a way, that’s unfortunate but admirable at the same time.  I sometimes envy certain women their naivete, and wish I could have afforded some of that.  However, I’ve never been socially a “hottie”, so those types of experiences would not have suited me as a well aging plain Jane wolf.  Graciousness, for me, is a matter of survival, whether I’m politely fending off drunk cubs, or pummelling the face of someone who stepped out of line.  Nobody gives a crap about my feelings aside of anger unless they’re my equals or above.

So Roissy’s reaction to me was that I should die.  I don’t deserve to live because I am not useful to him sexually, and I don’t pity myself for not being so.  I rather pity him because he is not sexually useful to me, but insists that he (along with his fellow mediocre masses he likes to call “the overwhelming majority” :: p.i.m.m. ::) should be so, regardless of his relative unfitness.

His reaction to Lady Rain is to accuse her of being a porn actress (implying  that she is a slut) and insult her son because he feels disrespected by her disagreement with him.  I don’t know her well enough to say, but from my observations it seems that just as I am intellectually and WTP out of his league, she is all that and slim.  Thus, having a key trait that is within the “overwhelming majority’s” preferences, her disagreement with him has more sting, even though her comments were perhaps less knowledgeable on game, but no more inflammatory than others.

People react not in proportion to offenses, but in proportion to the impact of an offense.  It is pitiable, in my opinion, for a heterosexual male to feel that disagreement warrants such an extreme reaction.  Disagreeing with him apparently makes him feel less worthy to live, and makes him feel exposed as if he is having his shame paraded in front of others.  A man, regardless of orientation, should not be so carried away by his emotions.

She disagreed with him.  It’s his blog.  He can disagree with her.  He can tell her she’s ignorant of game, doesn’t know what she’s talking about, and should consider silence until she does unless she has a specific question.  He could tune her out, or do as he did to me, and put her on moderation.  (I still don’t know why he lies about that when everyone knows.)

I do hope that the next time he delivers a “smackdown”, he doesn’t use a boomerang.  I winced when I saw that post, not for her, but for him.  Poor guy.  I hope one day all the game literature actually starts to kick in, and he learns how to refrain from letting himself get goaded into a sissy fit.

The porn actress is not her, and doesn’t look anything like her.  She looks like she could be a relative from Puerto Rico or something, but that’s due to an only slight resemblance.  So aside of the sissy fit nature of the post, he has shown himself to be so easily socially manipulated as to actually fall for the oldest internet sycophant yes-call in the book: comparing one’s opponent to a porn actress with only slight resemblance.

It hearkened back to the old days on Usenet when people posted photos of many overweight Black porn actresses, saying that they were me.

Well, Lady Rain, welcome to the internet.  Get used to it.  There are alot of pathetic excuses for maleness out there posing.  When you encounter them, leave them some dignity, and leave them to their delusions before they confirm their wussy nature.

It’s what I did, but I suppose you can’t save a person from their nature.  Eventually, this was going to happen to someone.  Better you than someone who was less of a woman.

An online acquaintance, when looking at a photo of European descended “hot” women, shared my opinion that they seemed too “horse faced” and masculine.  The mostly American group disagreed with us, and the guy mentioned that spending alot of time in Asia might be the reason he sees them the way he does.  Once you get used to seeing real, untainted, and even strong femininity in so many flavors, and break out of the the restricted facial recognition pattern of your own ethnicity, there’s no going back.  You begin to see that there is more than one shape of femininity, and get closer to what it really is.

I wondered if that is also the case with me.  I’m female, so what I find attractive in person or aesthetically pleasing to look at is not going to be the same as most males.  Different needs and priorities.  I am an artist though, as well as partly a stylist and natural beauty expert, so my eye is very trained towards femininity.  I also have a patent sexual dislike of sheeple, so the balance of femininity and masculinity preferences is fluid for me, but certain things are well, harmfully masculinizing.  A butch Lesbian or athlete’s masculinity usually looks good on her.  Horse facedness comes from something other than working out and having low body fat.

The facial muscles determine a good part of what a person looks like.  It’s how most identical twins cease to look identical in their 20’s even if one of them didn’t suffer nutrition or space discrepancies in the womb.  One’s outlook and behavior, and things they’ve suffered go deeper than the surface.  Horseface comes from being emotionally hollowed out.  Assface comes from entitlement.  The Lecter non-scar comes from contempt.

So I was eyeing Maxim’s list of the hottest women, to perhaps get a better idea of what the difference is between my and other expats’ idea of beauty, and the American living in America’s idea of beauty.  I’ve already seen AskMen.com’s list, and didn’t get into the vast majority of them.  Most of the top 100 list are women who look like they’re genetic males and/or have to be coated in full body paint and airbrushed to look “beautiful”.

American beauty is apparently a flawless looking tall, slim boy with boobs on the surface.  It is an early aging Frankenstienian drug addict balloon filled with cottage cheese, crumbling bones, and silicone in reality.

Strangely, the ones who didn’t look like monsters (to me) are over 30, some over 35, who had bouts of overweightness during their careers.  In their time off, some of them have actually been chubby, and some still are at least Playboy rounded.  Yet these are the minority, and nowhere near the top of the lists.

I now have mixed feelings about this.  It brings up alot of bad memories of high school, and the difference between how I was treated on base and off base.  I went to a DoDDs school, for those who don’t know.  On the one hand, the painful truth that though beauty itself is largely objective, the reaction to it is socially dependent, was known to me.  What is startling is that it is apparently so socially dependent that American men have been convinced that the feminine ideal is FrankenBarbie.  I’d have been happier with the old standard princess Barbie.

The reason my feelings about it aren’t totally negative is that it has some historical and social basis.  Men are physically stronger and their bones and musculature more “solid” looking than females generally.  We sacrifice alot as far as objective beauty because of our reproductive hormones and such.

So much, if not most of feminine beauty is actually evidence of having sacrificed more in muscle, height, and bone density, in order to be able to carry babies to term.  It’s only fair that someone who appears not to have those particular “deficiencies” will be perceived as more objectively beautiful.  Broad shoulders, a square jaw, a jutting chin, and signs of early aging make for a rather handsome appearance.

The problem of course is that this is Lord of the Flies beauty, not “be fruitful and multiply” beauty…though Americans are now fully convinced that it is.

It wouldn’t be so bad if the people who believed in it just limited their personal activities to people who fit their preferences.  American culture doesn’t allow “live and let live” though.  No, they have to socially enforce their preference on others, even going as far as verbal and physical harassment, and then spread the “gospel” across the world.

I watched it happen here: diet clinics sprang up, and over the course of five years, the women got uglier, fatter, worse dressed, and yet snottier.   Israelis are becoming like Americans in the worst ways.

So when I see the supposed empirical evidence of what is supposedly objectively more beautiful, I think that the judges of this are being paid off.  The evolutionary biologists put out information, but people pick and choose what they want to believe rather than looking at the whole truth.

Beauty is far more objective than the western layman gives credit to.  Its near universality in cultures wherein people have to be hardy to survive is a hard thing to ignore in a world where there is the internet.  This is how we got to the overrepresentation of the badly assembled cyborgian addict in “hot” lists.  An animal is most dangerous and irrational when it is cornered and wounded.

I don’t really blame the men…or even women for this.  The general population can’t control what “information” they are presented.  I blame their social engineers: the rich people who mostly know better.  Some of them in their daily living, stayed pretty natural despite the health hype.  Some believed their own propaganda because they were particularly obsessed with their youth and beauty, and wanted to make everyone think that plastic boobs really do look better.

It puts money in their pockets.  Sure, they could put just as much or more money in their pockets promoting a more human friendly way, but when you’re a semi nihilist obsessed with looks rather than content, the scratch on your brain precludes making HGH more widely available instead of plastic surgery.  Why legalize marijuana when pills are the standard way the slaves solve their problems?  Antidepressants made your kid suicidal?  Collateral damage, right?

The truly insideous bit of all this is that for those who’ve already crossed the line into profitting from the exploitation of the herd, there is no ethical dilema.  For them, the sheeple are serving their purpose, and only suffering their destiny.  No independent thinker is in danger from it.  When they are 45, they will look as good as sheeple who are 30 or less.  Nature rewards the smart and punishes the stupid.

…but what of duty?  This is where it gets interesting, and where at some point I can’t even really blame the social engineers for their attempts to lead the herd off a reproductive cliff.

How much duty do you feel towards people who, were you in their power, would kill you or make your life miserable?

How much duty would you feel towards people who historically, went along with people who would burn, hang, and torture you for being socially inconvenient because of your color or religious beliefs?

Humans still do that to each other nowadays…and much worse.  Is it really so bad to capitalize off of a social trend that makes us more invisible except to each other, rather than visible and therefore targetted for cruelty?

Many questions, I do not have answers for.  I used to be very sure that it was partly my job to direct people towards a more positive way of life.  Now, with more experience, I’m not so sure.

A couple of nights ago, I watched a documentary called The Side Effects of Being American.  It was about a group of three brothers and strength athletes, two of whom were doing illicit steroids regularly.  One of them had tried it for a time in college, but quit, he says because of guilt.  It’s unclear as to whether or not he’s taking legal steroids (anti aging and medically supervised performance enhancers).

Their heartbroken and shocked mother tearfully asked her middle son, the “clean” one how her well raised sons came to believe that they weren’t good enough…how they got to the point where they felt they had to use steroids regularly.

In my exploration of the blogosphere, in an attempt to better understand men, I’ve noticed a marked difference between the guys my dad’s age, and the guys my age, and the guys in their 20’s now.  Guys under 45 these days are, for the most part, feminine, vain, and have screwed up priorities.  They are this way mainly because their parents protected them from reality.

They were told that if they “worked hard and played by the rules” they would succeed.  If they were fortunate, they came to understand that this was hogwash early enough to take the truth in stride.  The unfortunate ones still feel as if they are weak or defective because working hard and playing by the rules did not give them the rewards they were promised.

One of the most damaging myths, in my opinion, has been the promise of free, easy sex, from hot chicks with no consequences.

What is most physically beautiful and ideal in a woman is youth, breeding/nurturing/sexual fitness, and good proportions/symmetry.  This has been so since the dawn of known history.  The problem is, of course, that the same things are most physically beautiful in men, and that neither men nor women can function optimally just from being pretty.  So all sorts of things come into play in determining who is one’s best mate.

In the past, western men seemed to understand this as well as other men understand it still.  They expected more of their partners and themselves than a pretty face and physique.  If it was a matter of love or practical good (such as in arranged marriage cultures) looks were secondary to optimal function and attachment.

I’m not waxing nostalgic.  People were no more deep then than they are now.  Yet then, it was less frustrating for the vast majority to find a decent partner at least most of the time, because expectations were based on deeds not looks.  Now, men themselves feel like lesser men if they don’t look pretty and have alot of money, and they feel as if women who don’t look pretty are lesser women.

In the 30-somethings it seems to have turned sharply in that direction.  Teens of the 80’s turned into bitter lonely men, married whores, or dumped their good wives for the hypothetical whores they thought they could do better with, in record numbers.  It’s gotten so that I understand the life stories of most of my old contacts will follow one of maybe 4 scripts.  Mine was getting dumped for hypothetical whores, but with a twist since I understand men way too well, and give a guy a “free five”.  Within 5 years, he can walk away with zero penalties.

More about why that was a good decision later, but for now I’ll explain a bit more why western men are so damned girly now.

Basically, it’s because they don’t generally have man-like priorities anymore.  If you need a woman to be dependable and trustworthy, that will be important to you.  If your woman can be a lying, thieving, cheater, and you’ll still be okay, then honesty, loyalty, and honor are not as important.

Women have let men off the hook.  Sure, they still take them to the cleaners in divorces when possible, but otherwise women don’t require that men be honorable, trustworthy, and kind anymore.  In fact, these traits are viewed as strangely feminine rather than just humane.  Humanity has become the domain of the female, and studly assholery has become the definition of male.

So a guy who isn’t an mirror primping asshole worried about whether or not jojoba or papaya is a better conditioner, is viewed as feminine now.  Women who cook and can manage a group of five kids in an orderly manner are considered too masculine.

So these three steroid taking brothers’ mom was a big, curvy, church going, super feminine woman who even baked their weight gain bars.  Their dad was a very handsome, hard working guy with his head on straight, who worked for IBM and later started his own business.  Who was the invader who programmed their beautiful strong boys with big dreams to believe they weren’t good enough?

The television.

Well, to be fair, it was too many hours and instances of unsupervised television.  My daughter watches plenty, but it’s usually educational, cartoons, and sci-fi.  No chance of developing a negative body image from Mythbusters.  We talk about models and actresses.  We know a few, and my daughter knows exactly what they go through to maintain their looks…and what they look like without makeup.  She has no illusions, and thusfar, no desire to be like that since her career and priorities in life are different.  So she’s not judging them negatively, just choosing her own path.

I wonder how different life would have been for these brothers if they had met and gotten to know some professional wrestlers, bodybuilders, and strength athletes growing up, who were honest with them.  They might still do steroids, but they’d be less conflicted about it, and much more understanding of their own motivations, rather than detached and viewing it in the context of addiction.

What really disturbs me is this idea that they and most western males now have the same desires.  It’s like the American dream is no longer individual.  They feel like they must all have big muscles, lots of money, and access to lots of young, pretty girls spreading their legs on demand, or something is lacking in their lives.

Even more disturbing is the seething contempt so many have for the women who may not be so “perfect”, but do give them attention.  It doesn’t matter than 100 million average looking girls would have their babies, cook their meals, and be faithful wives for life.  These are substandard ogresses who deserve to die alone for the sin of not being hot enough that their equally feminized friends would praise their living status accessories.

They actually complain about these women talking to them, being friendly to them, and wanting them.  The women who are important are the top 10% in looks, who they deserve because they’ve played by the rules and worked hard.  It should be like in the sitcoms, right?

At 38, I’m basically out of that “game” and enjoying the apocalyptic show from the nosebleed.  It would be nice to find a partner in all ways, but I’m sure if I do, it’ll be a chance meeting in the parking lot, and I understand my chances are quite low.   So part of my development back into my formerly hardcore self is being more okay with the idea that I wasn’t one of the lucky ones…or was I?

I did have the good sense and good luck to marry young and breed young.  I also look pretty good for my age, and no wall is on the horizon to hit in the near future.  All my older aunts are aging well, as is my mom.  So at least for the purpose of hanging out and being a non slutty freak who likes to dance, I’m doing pretty well.  I won’t look too extremely out of place when I take my daughter to Burning Man for her 21st birthday.

…and who knows?  Maybe somewhere out there is a bookish and yet highly…driven guy who can handle me.  I’m not holding my breath, but it can happen.  It’s just not something I can say that I’m really looking for anymore…at least not in Israel.  Guys outside of Israel, well, that would require a miracle, and this is not something I would bank on.

Like I said…most people are not that deep.  The practical concerns would get in the way unless someone thought I was truly special.  Lots of girls who are younger and prettier are special too.