While you may or may not be correct in your sudden realization of motivations of your past partners, the sources of your stimulation are skewed:

1. Anoukange is one of the last women in this part of the blogosphere that should be turned to for sexual advice or information collection regarding sexual experiences.

2. The Roissy-sphere is mostly a collection of men with, ultimately, one motivation and a worshipful eye towards certain behaviors and philosophies. In gathering intelligence from them, you need to realize that the sample is biased. Which doesn’t make it wrong, only incomplete when it comes to life application.

Whatever you are going to do, however you are going to treat future partners, be -you-. Do what feels right, without the walls and shields you placed around yourself. Those barriers aren’t you, just a reaction to fear, fear of how you perceive yourself, fear of intimacy, fear of devaluing, whatever. I’d be more concerned with that, if I were you, than the other things you spoke about, which seem to be more of an effect than the cause.