@Chris, I hear you on the landmines. When we first start to think of being parents, the creating a good nest for children to develop in, is one of the chief concerns. It’s a strong motivator to develop as an individual, but that individual can no longer be overly individualist when they make more new individuals who they have to nurture. One can’t just do whatever they want when other people’s lives and wellbeing are on the line.

As comfortable as it may be for someone to maintain certain illusions, those have to give way to the reality. We know what the consequences are of denial and deceit. I mean, what good is all this freedom and right of expression and individuality if people don’t use it? If people don’t think about the children’s freedom as well? What is it for if not for the children? It’s all just empty words if it doesn’t mean that someone will use the opportunities to embrace reality, and create a better future for those who’ll be living in it.

The vested interest issue comes into play in the spiritual community as well. I’ve noticed that many in African diaspora spiritual communities lack the basic knowledge that would be passed down in a case of actual lineage, but then turn around and trash others in Africa and the diaspora for not being “initiated” or taught the way they were. I didn’t understand what the problem was until I looked around and realized how much money was on the line. As soon as many of us came out of the “broom” closet, we were getting shouted down because we were bringing our true lineage skills into a market full of synthetic fragrances, people who think a cauldron is an incense burner or a glorified pencil holder, still hiding Orishas behind Christian saints that don’t even correspond.

In the same way, vendors of props are shouting down natural sexuality. They’re selling the porn dream to people who don’t have the basics. Making love is a skill born of love, just like gathering herbs outside. If you’re not careful, or are so concerned with getting what you want that you don’t think of the consequences of your behavior, you’ll destroy an ecosystem…and you don’t hand a scythe to someone who can’t even manage their fingernails.

…but these people sell them scythes and tell them this is what they need. This will solve all their problems and fill that emptiness. What they really need can’t be bought. They need to fill that hole and then buy any needed accessories, if any, AFTER that self discovery.