Truth. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. We have to remember that humans are social animals. Certain rituals are important in seduction and in a relationship that goes beyond the sexual. There is a sort of dilemma sometimes with very masculine men. When you’re doing the job, the little social niceties pale in comparison of importance…but we still need that bit of romance. I’m betting this has something to do with the need to feel protected.

Even though I’m in an open marriage and am not looking for another husband, I still require that the first meeting be at a cafe. There is something about circling one another and summing each other up in a relaxed environment that I like. Some of it has to do with vetting for balance and creating a sexual tension, but some of it is also seeing how much of a gentleman someone is. I’ve found that men who are more gentlemanly (which is different from capitulating) are also more “beastly” in bed. A man capable of seeing and treating me like a fragile flower…that’s a seriously strong guy. In some ways, it’s also a sign of a good hunter capable of preying on my ego.

So I guess it’s something like sometimes you are the beast and sometimes the hunter, sometimes the predator and sometimes the prey, sometimes the oak and sometimes the reed, sometimes the cobra and sometimes the spider. It’s complicated to juggle all these things inside one’s self, but worth the effort to keep that balance.