This perfectly describes what ive been missing in my 20 yr marriage. It seems so trivial and trite to say out loud im thinking of divorcing a man who is a good father and provider because he wont hold me or touch me. But i feel like im starving. I feel like screaming i want to be held, to feel safe, protected. Ive told him 100 different ways what i need, and he dismissed them as trivial and immature. I feel like im starving to death from lack of touch. Hes indicated hes nit changing. I actually think if he could have sex without touching at all, he would. He wants quiet, controlled and clean
I want hot. Dirty, wild passion. And want to be contained, controlled, but not abused. I dont want to be tied up. I want a man to hold me and make me feel safe. Take me like he actually wants all of me, not just a hole to drop his seed. Im not a sub. Id balk at orders or abuse. Ive been abused and ive been raped. I wont ever be again. Which i think is why i want this even more. To finally feel like i can relax, let my guard down and be safe. There is a reason i am always armed, why i box till my knuckles are swollen and bloody, and im a fire arms instructoe, because i feel i must protect myself..but im tired, and hungry for touch.