I feel kind of silly now. He wasn’t disappearing. He just has the flu from hell, which is probably actually adenovirus, but nobody wants to say because they don’t want mass panic. It’s one of those presents you get as a parent on the first year your kids are in preschool here.

Still, he probably should have called to let me know he was approaching half death instead of letting me worry for a week. So he’s on probation. This is the part when I sit back, relax, and wait for whatever excuse they’re going to come up with even though I don’t care why. The truth is always the same, no matter what they tell me or themselves.

I’m not a better woman for this. I’ve just streamlined getting dumped. It has happened so often that I no longer doubt that I will survive it. Having direct and honest input from my bros helps A LOT in this. It’s better than having a psychic.