If it wasn’t clear enough from the line of poetry, I’m back in the saddle and rebuilding my stable. I’m being more decisive about this since there is no compelling reason not to be. One of the lessons I learned from being stuck with someone whose sex drive and just about every other drive runs at the speed of a sloth on quaaludes, is that if I am not going to be celibate, I have to have at least three boyfriends. I’ve come full circle, but this time for healthier reasons, and with a better understanding of men and their needs.
In these times of the idealization of individualism, almost every guy wants to be the alpha or sigma male. The problem is that very few are equipped for this. My father is an alpha. My legal husband is a sigma. Most of the guys I develop actual relationships where we can discuss things deeper than the weather and my tits are alpha or sigma, but none of them are truly available.
Taking a hard look at most of the guys I mess around with consistently though, they are in the beta spectrum. Some would define my second to last boyfriend as an omega who would be an incel anywhere but Israel where women are desperate to marry a “nice Jewish boy”, but I’d put him at lower beta.
The main reasons for this are likely because I’m fat and old. The alphas are swamped by young, hot chicks vying to be the wifey, or are already tied down by the winner. I’m already past my sell-by date for those aside of affairs. What’s left and in my age range are the lower beta leftovers nobody wanted to marry, or at best, young men across the range who need someone to stave off self loathing until they are stable, ref. Human, All Too Human.
I’ve been accepting of my lot in life since long. The problem here in Israel though, has been how to go about my doings and dalliance with some level of dignity. I am not naturally bitchy or over entitled, so the way to go for me is unashamed Voodoo queen. Brutal honesty.
Monogamy is not an option in a time and place where there simply are no available men with sufficient fire and motivation. So as in many other things, it takes at least three others to do the job of one African. The one African plan would be great if I were a virgin and under 25, or European. As things are, it’s either a slow death of near celibacy with one European or Asiatic or mixture thereof, that they would call a “relationship” but I would call “hell”, or keeping a stable of three to six of them so that at least I won’t be frustrated.
It is a problem that each would want to be the only one, but unless they’re going to put out at least three nights a week, and keep up that frequency for years, they can’t be. I can love them as humans, but I won’t promise monogamy to someone who can’t keep up with me again. I won’t throw it in their face that they are not the only one, but I’m not going to treat these capuchins like gorillas. They need to know their place.
I’m not a nympho. I’m careful who I invite to my bed. I love all my bitches. I would LIKE to be able to settle down with one guy who could take care of me emotionally and sexually, but I understand that the pickings are slim for this. Meanwhile, I need to function, work, exercise, and have a clear head while I’m doing so. I don’t want to be on the carousel spending hours chasing a new dick every day, and when I don’t fuck, I eat. So a harem it is. If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to compile a team as good as Papa II, Princess, Dr. Evil, and Sky again.
Queen Nzingha managed to rule a nation, fight the Portuguese, and keep a harem of 60. I think I can manage 3 to 5.