@anonymous, only you can really answer the question of your identity, and how much or how little you wish this to affect your flesh-life. However, I’d like to make a suggestion: polyamory.

One person doesn’t have to be your everything.

With unstable people, anyone in a relationship worries that allowing new partners may mean a loss or at least unlivable distraction. Stable people who actually love deeply do not have this problem. One can love and be loyal to more than one person. People do it all the time. A (good) parent loves all of their children. A sibling loves all of their siblings.

In a romantic situation, you are basically vetting and then embracing someone into your family. Disney makes it butterflies and rainbows, but it is really about family…and as many polygamous societies have shown, a family can have multiple husbands and wives in it.

If you are bisexual, androgynous, or heteroflexible, you don’t have to force an individual partner to be everything. It is better to have some provisions for allowing additions than to ask one person to spin plates like love is a circus.

Sounds like when you’re with men too long, you miss women, and when you’re with women too long, you miss men. Be with both. You could even join a couple who is looking for someone as versatile as you. It’s 2015. Nobody needs closet dysfunctions anymore.