well i am back. quite sometime later i have returned to weigh in. i was with a woman for three years and she loved pegging me. her thrill was in using my raging hardon for her own satisfaction. she would dress me up which got me impossibly hard and shove a plug in my ass and then i would perform coitus with her without my penis going flacid. “my gay pet” is what she called me. she would peg me after for my own release. when her and i first met i believed i was straight with a secret kinky side. She used toys and feminization and encouragement to break down my barriers and show me who i really am. she helped me to accept that i dont in fact like pussy nor am i really attracted to women but that i was hiding behind my relationships with women.
i didnt believe her but found the conversation arousing. ultimately she was right i thought that her pegging me made it not gay but my ultimate desire was for men though i was too scared to admit it.
the first step for her was to get me to crossdress and role play a girl to get me used to riding her strapon. she would make me kneel down and take it into my mouth before she fucked me. i didnt realize at the time that this was simulating gay sex and i slowly got used to the fact that this is what sex had become. she began to encourage me how hot it would be to watch me be dominated by a man and i also eventually got used to the idea. she told me she was going to turn me out and encouraged me to stop living a lie to be who i really am.
over a period of three years i went from being a latent homosexual in the closet and in denial to accepting i am a homosexual though still in the closet. i tried dressing up in an outfit the other night and it did not arouse me. i do not get aroused by women any longer either and now her and i have been apart nearly a year and since then i only masturbate to gay porn. it took a long time to coax me into admitting i am gay. i always have been though i suppressed it. but i did not have to coerce her into pegging me she loved to torment me with her pussy.
for the whole second year of our relationship the only coitus i was aloud woth her was if i used the strapon. and the only way i was aloud to cum was from anal stimulation while masturbating as she watched and encouraged me to give in and be gay. at one point her and i were apart for seven months and i fiercely tried to take my manhood back refusing to accept that all our play was anything more than fantasy. so when i came back to her again “straight” she humoured me and aloud me to have coitus with her without any cross dressing or anal stimulation and much to her satisfaction i performed miserably. i would get hard making out but then as soon as i was inside her i would go flacid. i just couldn’t get into it. one night as i sat naked on the edge of the bed she stripped in front of me and bent over spreading herself and exposed her self to me she spanked herself and twerked in front of me and i stayed soft and flacid. she began to question me: why wasnt i hard, why dont i like pussy, what makes me hard, why are you still in denial etc.etc… it didnt take long for my penis to respond to her telling me i am gay. She called my attempts at being a dominant man pathetic and it was clear to me i am not aroused by pussy. it was over the next year she began to intensify my training. now our sex talk was all gay she was very clear that she was pegging me to train me to be with men. she used bigger and bigger plugs on me to open me up for the real thing. she took great pleasure in bringing me, a latent homosexual, out of my shell to admit and accept that I only ever used women to keep from having to accept what i really am. She enjoyed the power over me and enjoyed watching the look on my face with every level of acceptance i achieved in realizing what i really am. i think that any man who wants to have a woman peg him when she is not really into it is missing the point. it is far more erotic and rewarding to be pegged by a woman who loves and embraces the femdom role. who will help him to realize his true nature. the eroticism is far more rewarding. the pleasure greater. and when you finally accept what you are and are ready to step out into the real world and find what you really want, a big strong man who will make you submit to him, you will finally be fullfilled. i am still in the closet bit i no longer look to women to fill a need they are not equiped to fill.