He has a tough act to follow. My last one got himself a girlfriend. I don’t think that will last long because a dude like that should not be tied down to one woman. He has a gift that he should give to the world…but I guess he’s at that age (27) when they have to at least try to do the commitment thing.
His would-be replacement was great for my recovery from the narc. He’s just too much of an introvert, but he has a crazy ex in his past, so I get it. This last couple of relationshits have made me a bit skittish too.
A woman’s got needs though, so I’m getting mine met. I decided, for certain, not to complicate things myself, and not to let things become complicated. Feelings schmeelings, whatever heartbreak I may experience from someone not knowing what’s squirming around in there is better than their knowing that and using it against me.
It’s finally sunk into my brain that a mental sickness is really a sickness. They can’t help how they are, and usually don’t know they’re fucked in the head. There is some way they can rationalize whatever it is they’re doing, no matter how screwed up, and blame away the consequences, no matter how devastating.
Some people make great pets, but terrible partners. This is not to dehumanize them. It’s not about their personhood, but just their ability. Someone who can’t think outside the box or without the box, I can love all the day long, but I’m not giving them a boyfriend status for the same reason I don’t let the cats on my table.
For certain, I should have kept most of the guys I’ve dated here on the floor waiting for scraps. Mean is the only thing they understand…but like the guy version of game, it’s not really meanness. It’s understanding and respecting their needs and choosing not to attempt to change them. Just work with the material that is there, and when it becomes tiresome, drop it and go to the next bitch, until you encounter one who isn’t a bitch.