On the opposite end of the Primal sexual experience spectrum from the deep MY connection is the one sided sheep shag. That’s when you really don’t want to judge since first times are often kind of awkward, but then they keep it awkward by reacting to everything as if you’re purposefully offending or assaulting them. Some people start out a little shaky because the sensations and ease of pleasure are new to them. Some of my long time readers remember Princess; took him awhile to open up, but when he did, it was a beautiful thing. Then someone had to go and tell him our relationship was “unhealthy”.
This is not what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about someone who is basically mechanically okay, but there’s just something missing. You don’t know what it is until you trip one of their shame landmines, or 12-24 hours pass, and BOOM! You’re blocked, even on social media you didn’t try to contact them on. That, or your follow or like or totally innocuous comment or day-after checkup message set it off. Or they ghost with no explanation even though for them, the sex was so great they lost control and claimed they wanted to do it again without any prompting. In the old days before the internet, you’d hear from a friend or the authorities that you’ve been stalking or harassing someone you haven’t even seen in weeks or months. Usually this happens to men at the hands of women who overestimate their value to the guy to whom they were like bad pizza (or in Israel, cold schnitzel), but in these days of pussified manchildren raised by mini-Medeas, it happens to women and Gay men now too. These are people who run when nobody’s chasing them, and often feel some resentment or anger when the fact that you would not chase them becomes clear to them and whoever they tried to slander you to.
You wouldn’t give a flying fuck except for a nagging curiosity. Did you do or say something wrong? Was it that one photo you commented on without enough smilies? Was it that you called before the PUA recommended 24 hours for every point above 7 of her hotness? Did you fart at some point during the 69 and not notice?
No baby. No. That was just someone who couldn’t take it. You had her pussy popping like an AK or made him cum so hard he thought his eyeballs would implode, and she panicked. Fear honey. Your stuff was so good it sent them into fight or flight mode, and they’re a chicken.
In the private drama in their mind, you are a threat. Don’t try to make any sense of it. Your genitals are a scary, dark abyss that will suck their marrow, or the Spear of Doom/Satan’s pitchfork or whatever. They’re going to make up whatever excuse seems to make sense to their weak will, even if it makes no sense at all. It’s going to sound something like blah blah “I’m having feelings/might have feelings/afraid to have feelings/this is moving too fast/we need to take a step back/I wasn’t expecting to like you so much/this wasn’t what I planned” blah blah.
The truth is that they are just substandard and they know it. Somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of their mind, they understand that you are Nature, and they are industry. You may live a normal life and fit into the normal hierarchy, but there is something about you generally that you play the game instead of the game playing you, and sexually, you bring your true self or don’t bother.
You want to be physically close to your partner. They don’t understand what the fuck you are doing. You want to take in their smell. They don’t understand why you’re sniffing at them. You want at least some of the time for your bodies to be touching so you can feel them moving under or on top or beside you. If they could do it from across a room and only touch genitals, they would.
And after this awkward poking at you or wincingly tolerating your writhing, wallowing, and pounding that they do that felt much better for them than it did for you, the fact that you managed an orgasm mostly from your own efforts and angling makes them think you would deign to stalk them somewhere. You’re being kind and they’re being paranoid.
I know what you’re thinking right now. “But I told her I was Primal and even if sex is very good, I’m not going to blink until she’s cooking for me or grooming me,” or, “But I told him I was Primal and even if the sex is good, I’m not going to blink until I see him as a protector.” It doesn’t matter what you told them. In their world, intense sex is only something that happens in the movies or sometimes maybe if you’re in love.
I really didn’t know how normal people fuck until someone told me, but this is why porn is exciting to them. Porn sex with the dead eyed, bored, bad acting is “intense” to them because it is merely brutal. So when you say “primal” they hear “brutal” or “hard”. Even while it’s happening to them, you’re giving a wide open wave of energy, and they’re drowning in it because they don’t know how to swim.
Very often, they already have a partner with whom they have nice, normal sex. Here in Israel, I would say a solid half just marry whoever comes along who is the same religion/ethnicity, the right age range, and with whom they can muster the minimum amount of arousal to enable them to reproduce. Bonus if their family has socked away enough savings or has good enough credit to buy them an apartment. So, needless to say, people here cheat like crazy. When polyamory became a thing, it took off like wildfire because people were just glad to finally be honest and not have to hide, as if one could successfully in this tiny country.
But small country or big country, since most people are very socially dependent and make what seems like the safest choice, or most profitable based on limited, stratified status frames, too many are basically living someone else’s life. Many are doing so to the point of having someone else’s sex. When somewhere along the way, they fall into one of our lairs, some grow, some feel they have come home, and some run back to their herd screaming.
So here you go with your scratching, biting, touching everywhere you can reach, grabbing from time to time, and using every part of your body with a bump or a crease to make some pleasure. You must be a rapist or a soul sucking monster, and my GODS if you’re the woman and you can take a pounding like Tyson and like a man with big hands to really grab hold of them titties, you must be a masochistic succubus who will steal all their time and thoughts. Oh noes!
Male, female, anywhere in between, you don’t need that weaksauce in your life. There are plenty of Primal people. In some cultures and subcultures, it’s required. Kindred souls abound, so let the scared little bunnies who bit off more than they could chew go merrily back to their holes where they’ll feel safe.
I am proud to have been blocked by two “men” who thought I was going to chase them after their safe distance sex. I did nothing to them; barely communicated with them at all except to arrange the date. One of them, I liked a video where he did an imitation of Salt Bae, because it was funny, and he freaked out. There was nothing I did wrong, but nothing I could have done right. It wasn’t how I browsed or how I breathed. It’s just who I am. It sucks, but there are many sucky things I have learned to accept in this world.
Don’t ever be down on yourself because someone couldn’t take it. Just find someone else who can.