Exactly. Empathy is a bit overrated because a little bit goes a long way. You don’t need to know exactly how someone is feeling in painful detail, just that at least at the moment, they are out of control. Since you don’t really know if someone is capable of gaining some control, it’s always worth it to try to help them if they want it.

I believe that part of the reason there are people who are more on the nearly-but-not-quite misanthropic end of independence, is because if one empathizes too much, one can lose focus of the goal. If someone needs your help breaking an addiction or changing their lifestyle, the last thing they need is an echo for whatever excuses they were making for themselves before.

So compassion goes alot farther, in my opinion, than empathy. You can forgive or accept people’s shortcomings the same way you forgive and accept your own: without tolerating them beyond a reasonable point.

If a friend of mine is a bit too drunk, and starts acting like an ass, I can forgive him, but I’m not just going to let it escalate to the point of a needless bar fight.

There’s a certain degree of detatchment that is necessary to be helpful rather than pushy or getting too drawn into the drama.