Hey Nicole,

I dont dispute the points Obsidian(or you) make, I have made the same claims elsewhere. However, I do think many black women, especially those who are open to other races are hypersensitve to people (especially other blacks) saying its damn near impossible to find a serious, long term non-black mate. It maybe harder for us, but not impossible.

I understand the the value(or lack thereof) placed on black women in society, I just think people take it too far and try to imply that any black woman that wants to date/marry out is setting herself up to die alone. Also, it is true that “swirl” wont work for most black women (lack of attraction to other races, racism, low SMV ect), however most black women are not interested in men of other races anyway. Thats another problem I have with this debate as it pertains to Obsidian. He has stated most black women cant do IR, as if the majority of black women are seeking men of other races. The minority of black women that do “swirl” should be left to do what they please (granted some do bring heat upon themselves by promoting IRR). Instead, a lot of people cant wait to throw it in their faces that Asians, Latinas, and Whites are more coveted mates. Its like, “Okay we get it, we arent considered hott. Can we at least get with the men we want without being reminded that we aint shit?” Last I checked groups dont marry each other, individuals do. I understand that black women, as a group, are not as coveted as other races of women, but I’m not going to allow that to stop me from dating the men that approach me. Likewise, if a non-black man wants to take me out Im not going to be paranoid about his motives and automatically think he wants to use me.

Its true that in the world of women black women are considered at the bottom(in the US at least). This may be hard for many to hear but look at the media, internet forums, ect no other woman has to put up with being trolled this hard. Even in black hip-hop videos we are replaced by biracial, if not full on white and non-black women. However, I think we need to keep things in perspective. Just because the sexual marketplace is harsher on black women doesnt mean its impossible for a black woman to get what she wants, given her expectations are reasonable.

-Sorry if this post seems a bit ranty and all over the place. Just thought I’d get a few things off my chest 🙂