Oh if only it were that simple. Every once in awhile though, something happens that reminds us of the past.
In my case, I’m looking now through the lens of having begun real treatment for my PTSD. I probably have some apologies to make if the opportunity arises. I’ve also settled well into living as I truly am as a demisexual, so most of the apologies would revolve around stupid things I said and did while ever trying to be anyhow else. Had I accepted who I am, it would have saved a lot of heartbreak for me and for others.
Some things would have gone a different way, and some would have been over before they started.
I guess I had to learn the hard way, but at least I learned.
Between the aging and the meds, I feel not like a different person, but like a different me. I’m more me and less the momentary emotions that used to carry me. I wish I had gotten help sooner. Many things would be different.
I think even my knees would have been better off. I would have gotten the surgeries I needed earlier. There is nothing I can do to change the past though, so I best try to make my present and future as good as it can be.
