Okay, I'm about to get suddenly really personal here, but I have to ask because this is confusing the heck out of me. I started getting treated for my PTSD, and was put on anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. It seemed to help for awhile, but after 3 months, things have become exponentially worse. It's like every bad memory I'd managed to assimilate and make peace with is coming back to the front. Is this normal?
2023/10/07 16:36
Hey everyone 🙂 I'm alive. Most of the activity is in the center and south so far. I'm in the north in Haifa. There was a rocket hit about a block away from some of my loved ones though. Once again, we are the meat in the politicians' grinding machine.
Funny sidenote and coming up for a little air from the work cave since I'm shifting, my mom has now also reached the yarn and pegboard phase about the Jesus vs. Yeshua thing. It's hilarious!
Today I learned that I have #kyphoscoliosis I've been having back pain for the past couple of months for the first time in my life. Not sure, but I think the bit of sadness and grief after the whole Efe coming out as a believer in Alex Jones's Gay frogs nonsense led to an inflammatory episode. So stuff that wasn't as big a problem before developed. Lesson: don't let anyone get deep enough to knock me off my square until after thorough vetting for potential normie weakness.
2023/05/23 07:29
I think I've reached the red yarn pegboard phase with my family. They think I'm overreacting to the coming tsunami of crap that is on the internet horizon. They don't quite get how the algorithms make you think you're being seen but ignored by tailoring feeds in a way that you and frequent followers can find you but anyone coming from outside that circle can't. BTW is there an aware Yeshua following or Gnostic PeerTube out there? #YouTube#PeerTube#Algorithm#ChannelBurial#Yeshua
I participated in the system. I know what's in it. I am not going to pretend it was always beneficial for me or that everything about it is okay, or that it is possible to be 100% benevolent while doing one's best within it.
Not going to happen.
I was and in some ways still am a shill to survive. I did and still do in some ways comply because I must to survive.
But I will not enjoy it or pretend to.
And I will not consider anyone worth keeping around who says I must.
2/2
2023/05/20 18:09
I am a witch.
At least by western standards anyway.
This side of the Atlantic, I'm considered a kindly middle aged sweet woman because I don't slap people for verbal insults. I wait at least until there's a threatening gesture.
Oh and spiritually, as of September 2022, I'm a "traditional healer".
Anyway, "nice" at least by western standards, is not something you should expect from me.
I strive to be kind. I strive to be inclusive and just. That isn't always going to mean pleasant. 1/2
As some of you may already know, I am a not card carrying semi vegetarian, meaning I eat meat occasionally and use some animal products but am not like a huge carnivore. Probably like most women in their 50's with a sensitive tummy. Anyway, I tried replacing ground beef in an American style bolognese with #BlackEyedPeas Don't. It was horrible. I don't know what tomatoes do to the #cowpea protein but it is nothing good. I tried it so you don't have to. Think curds of burnt plastic.
In a crisis someone's real values come out, but also in a stagnation. Someone with unfulfilled desires, stewing and milling in those inside a tank they can't escape will do things to a person's mind. Politicians know this, and this is why we are where we are today.
2023/05/11 02:49
One could say that roots kids and the longtermer kids had a kind of uneasy alliance until the tech bubble burst of the 90's. Up until then I think as a generation, we were all on more freedom even if some weren't completely sold on socialism. We were all sure we did not want forced birth and cops in schools. But then the security that if you got a degree in something computers, you would be rich or close, went away.
2023/05/11 02:31
As kids in the 80's, many if not most of us were made to watch those movies to scare us into staying on the program. It was pretty crazy. A lot of those kids who went through evangelical indoctrination are in government now. Worse, some who went through that an escaped went benevolent and just wanted to get folks back to their roots while others went the way of western occultism of the Blavatsky flavor, and if wealthy enough, eugenics and long termism.
2023/05/11 02:26
I encourage anyone who doesn't understand what the "Christian" authoritarians are trying to bring about, watch a series of "Christian" propaganda films called _Thief In the Night_. When you do, you'll understand that they are attempting to politically force a situation of alienation. They want the whole tribulation scenario, and since no rapture is coming, they'll suffice with the political us vs. them in which someone will rise up as the savior for the millenium phase.
2023/05/09 23:07
Human sacrifice in iron age Britain. Whenever you see a hate campaign waged by westerners who are politically or economically neocolonialist, racist, and homophobic, there is very likely a spiritual side to it as well. Learn how it was done in the past so you understand the twisted contingent of reclaimers trying to rig a sociopolitical workaround. Pagans need to detect and purge these folks from our ranks.
Lately, a lot of people are getting headaches and dreaming of suffering cats. Aside of it being Mercury retrograde and communication being wonky, and season changes with the weather being wonky too, this is a time of year some messed up people do messed up things. I try not to judge but just take things as is, please look in on your furry friends, especially the black and dark tortie ones. Make sure they have a place to hide that is not human accessible. #Cats#FeralCats#StreetCats
2023/05/06 05:40
As it is, I understand someday I'm going to have to do the whole bringing them over on humanitarian grounds thing because there's no way in hell I will be okay with them being old and vulnerable in the U.S. if it can be avoided. I hope by then one would still be able to do that here. I'm planning for this even though they would have been, "Well, the wages of sin is death..." had I not come back. I'm doing this for me, not for them.
2023/05/06 05:34
If I could get just some indication that their supposed embracing of the Jewish Yeshua came with real Jewish esoteric, even somewhat apocalyptic speculation values, I might consider them real family. Like on the same team family. Like people I don't just tolerate and respect because of my own beliefs around honoring past and future ancestors. Like actually in the role of nurturers and protectors, albeit a bit late.
2023/05/06 05:27
On a very personal note, though I try my best to recognize my parents' progress in becoming followers of Yeshua instead of the Roman Christos thoughtform, I won't consider them fully recovered until I hear them make a sincere and clean break from christofascist politics. I know them. I know who they were before the cults. They know I know. I'd almost settle for an, "I'm glad you came back from the jaws of death during your miscarriage."
The binary based on external genitalia has historically been forced on the enslaved. It is a way of sorting property, not persons. Asking for mercy in a system that treats persons as property is not going to work unless or until that state has clear rules about the difference between property and persons. While fighting for Trans rights, let's not forget the human rights side of this. Sometimes we are playing whack-a-mole with laws that can only be proposed because of a core problem.
hold on there hold on tight stay with me stay in sight this is all but not for naught we are together are we not if all their is is all there is adherence is the is of is and if below is as above there is just love only love
2023/04/12 19:52
ascend?
the ecstasy the peak sensation feels like ascension above your station a dragon chaste beyond desire eternal fire it is a liar one cannot go above beyond to edge or end solely abscond a lonely grain of lowly size stretch past all else to seize the prize all flow within the mass of matter all break the same all glasses shatter though shards may vary in relative sharpness all meet the same same light same darkness all flowing to a spiraling edge all falling through myriad ledge
