Well, it seems my outburst of insecurity was just female b.s.  I misread some nonverbal signals, and that sent me spinning off into noplace near rational.

Papa II called today, and we talked.  Well, I snivelled and he clarified.  So we’re good now.

I’m feeling kinda stupid, and though others keep telling me it’s okay because I’m a woman, I’ve kinda come to demand more from myself.  I do not want to ever have another episode like that again, so I’ve simply decided not to.  I did not enjoy it at all, and it didn’t really do anything good for me.

Next time I’m not sure what something means, I’m just going to ask like an emotional girly girl then and there instead of playing it cool like a dude but then failing because I’m not a dude.  I need to take my own advice and remember that face saving strategies are men’s domain and not something a woman should bother with.


My pronouns are whatever you're comfortable with as long as you speak to me with respect. I'm an Afruikan and Iswa refugee living in Canaan. That's African American expat in Israel in Normalian. I build websites, make art, and assist people in exercising their spirituality. I'm also the king of an ile, Baalat Teva, a group of African spirituality adherents here. Feel free to contact me if you are in need of my services or just want to chat.

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