First of all, I’d like to say that for those of us who are sexually primal, it isn’t a fetish. It’s more of a style. There is no object or specific behavior that makes one primal.
To be sexually primal means that one allows their “animalistic” or primal self out when sexually aroused or during sex. The normal constraints of civilized behavior are dropped, and one allows one’s self to be the intelligent ape that one is.
Sometimes it means that the sex act will resemble a wrestling match in which the stronger or more dominant subdues the weaker or more submissive. Sometimes it will be more playful. Sometimes it may get very dirty or painful. Sometimes it can be extremely gentle and almost non sexual or surpassing sexuality. One simply does what their “instincts” dictate.
Primal people often identify with one or more animals, and bring this to their bed or the bush. Some are lycan, and some gorilla, while others may be more ferret or sea creature-ish. Some are more caveman. It varies.
There is a primal “fetish” community in most accommodating BDSM sites or forums. There is quite a bit of crossover. Many however, are not into props such as handcuffs or whips. They’re more into hands, claws, teeth, and muscle, and of course the mind. We do use safewords and the language of soft and hard limits though.
Some form packs. Some keep it in a couple. Some swing, but the way primals swing can be a bit different than the average swingers. So if someone says they’re primal, you want to know who the alpha is, and what the limits are so things don’t get highly uncomfortable.
Yes, primal people usually like doing it outside in Nature or at least in natural settings. So if your lady is primal, definitely pack some blankets in your truck or SUV, or keep a tent in the trunk.
Biting, scratching, hard grabbing, hair pulling, spanking, and filthy talk, grunting, and screaming is common in primal sex. Because of the roughness, stuff can also happen like accidental elimination. One must be very cool with life. Keep a towel and baby wipes as well as alcohol handy.
What else can I say? Well, let me know. If you have any questions or something to say, or a personal experience you’d like to share, make a comment.
More Articles on Being Primal
Primal Fetish Relationships: Predator, Mate, and Prey
On the variety of relationships among Primal folk. It’s not quite as simple as some would like to believe.
Primal Sex: The Masculine Embrace, or What Men Should Relearn About Fucking
About leading the mating dance.
A general test of your kink that includes Primal tendencies. This one is a bit more thorough and detailed. You can see my results here: http://bdsmtest.org/r/6641433
That they call it “play” makes my eye twitch, but it is a kind of cute short introductory video.
Haus Mein Gott’s very raw posting about his primal side and how it is expressed. He also makes a good case for latex over leather in certain kinds of sexual expression and play.
A global kink community that has just about everything consensual one can imagine including a Primal community.
Safe Primal Sex
As a sidenote, one of the toys I’ve found very useful even though we’re often not into too many props, is penis sheaths and sleeves. Normal condoms tend to get shredded and lost a lot in our world, and it can be very tempting not to use them at all, but safety is crucial, especially for those with multiple partners. I encourage Primal men to become very comfortable with sheaths and prosthetics for both fun and safety.
Just don’t go crazy with these things until you know what your partners are into. The best to start with is something smooth that forms around your natural shape. If she is into animal or were-animal fantasy, you might like things that will give you a different shape, nubs, etc. What you should keep a few of in your tacklebox though, is some regular penis sleeves.
You can put one on before you get started, and be good until the mating is over, or at least three times, as opposed to having to stop and change every time you ejaculate. When you’re done, they can just be washed out with soap and water, dried, and wrapped up for next time. They’ll last months with no worries of pregnancy or diseases.
For oral sex, dental dams are important, but they can be hard to find. Something that does the job even better because it doesn’t trigger any latex allergies is food grade silicone food wrap. They work wonderfully and can be cleaned, dried, and reused. They’re also very flexible and stretchy.
Be careful out there, and happy hunting! 🙂
23 thoughts on “What is the Primal Fetish?”
IronWynch, you’ve discribed Primal very accurately.
EVERYONE is a Primal. EVERYONE has that base, animalistic instinct since first and foremost, the human race is just a primate that was lucky enough to evolve.
In my case, the line between thinking individual and instinctive animal seems to be easily crossed, sometimes impossible to bury.
If I were to try and explain it to someone else, I would equate it to that feeling you get when someone pushes you too far. Everyone at some point has gotten so emotionally worked up that they “fly off the handle”. Admit it. We all have done it at some point. When the emotion takes over your thinking mind.
Now imagine that mindset (or lack of mindset) applied to sex.
It’s pure, raw passion. Uninhibited by the constraints of decorum. It’s a Jack Hanna or Steve Irwin video of wildlife copulating. Pure lust driven by instinct and not hindered by propriety. It’s intense and passionate. A pure display of desire.
Thank you for the feedback, Caz 🙂
Indeed, this is why many of us are loathe to call it a fetish. It’s just a preference to not be hindered by the usual social norms and inhibitions, and the lack of need for a whole lot of theater around it.
The what it’s supposed to be takes a far back seat to what it is.
Thank you thank you thank you. For so long I’ve been trying to understand myself – now I have a direction to move towards.
May I re-post this description you provided in a discussion group I am involved in?
You will be given proper credit and with your permission, I’d also like to include a link to this page.
Months ago, your words were very helpful and I’d like to share them with other Primals I have met.
You certainly may. 🙂 It makes me very happy that this article is doing some good out there.
Yes I found it very interesting, and erotic.
thanks for the full detail @IronWynch and I am always the alpha
i want to thank you soo much for this article… my Lover and i have been identifying as switches for so long… not realizing we are both actually primals… having this description and breakdown puts it all into perspective, and helps immensely!
@IronWynch Out of curiosity, what is accidental elimination? I’ve never seen the term used before and I just can’t seem to find any other info on it aside from professional wrestling
It’s a nice way of saying that someone might accidentally pee, fart, or poop a little. I’m talking legit accidents here, not someone taking a dump on someone on purpose. That’s a different fetish.
Phew, I read that thinking that partners might accidentally kill each other in the heat of the moment. As a vanilla guy about to meet a woman who identifies as primal dominant, I like your definition a lot better!
Well, death can happen. People have to be careful and paying attention to their partner and their own physical state. Mind basic principles of physics and biology, and you should be fine.
There is a moment of loss during the primal sexual experience, the loss of the thin veneer of civilisation. As far back as i can remember i can remember sexual confusion. When i was a teen, me and my friends would talk about sex and our experiences, i would tell them of my desires and experience and would hear “thats crazy” or “your an animal” but i thought that that was just sex.
It seems to me that the world we inhabit is so ‘evolved’ so ridiculously polite that sex is an escape, a devolution an embrace of deeper animal desires.
I could sum up the primal sexuality as fearless, natural and very connected.
I agree, its not a fetish, its a negation of all norms and conventions.
Why would you need to submit someone with ropes when you have a powerful physical and mental self?
Thank you for this article! It was very helpful
Ever see how a male cat bites down on the neck of the female cat? Primal!
And spiders, tying things up all day.
Thank for you article which resonated a little with us the olfactophiles.
In our case we, enjoy sex accompanied with body odour/principally sweat or dirty sex.
As for myself, I like sex with long hair, unshaved, primal looking women, principally from the dark Indian or black ethnicities in the wild environments, reminiscent of the jungle. Barefoot living and sex in its most natural state is also part of the game.
I’m starting a UK based club for primal and olfactophilia fetishists. Feel free to get on board (http://www.olfactosex.club)
Thanks again for your article!
Very Accurate! I would like to quote this article for a new subreddit I am developing. If this is not allowed, please contact me. I will cite and link to your source. Give credit where credit it due.
Feel free. Just be ready for a bit of backlash because some folks over there didn’t like my opinions about pegging.