A Crazy February

Last month was just insane. A few days after we’d just renewed the rental contract, our landlord, LE announces that he is going to sell the apartment where we’ve lived for about 17 years. I knew this was coming when five years ago, they sold their second to last apartment in Israel. I told Shai to be prepared, and he didn’t listen. I told Moon, and she did. So my daughter and I were ready. Diva was ready too. All of our divination on the matter said that we would not be there long.  Even if it didn’t happen, at least we would be ready to find a new place so that we wouldn’t be sitting on a place that a friend might need to sell or at least renovate and rent out to a business from which they could make more money.

At first, we thought we would have a few months to find a new apartment and go in peace…but then things got hostile. Apparently, other people around the neighborhood and the wealthy Carmel Center scene were up on the gossip about the situation a bit too quickly to be coincidental. While on my way to a doctor’s appointment, I ran into a friend of Hyp’s…well maybe not a friend. More of a safe distance acquaintance who it is wise to be friendly towards because she is evil in some ways, though not in others. She is evil towards men. She is kind of a “black widow” though she doesn’t murder them. I think she just has a knack for sensing death. It has made her quite wealthy, but she still likes a good party and remembers where she came from.

So, from her, I learned that I am a terrible cheating bitch who has random men coming in and out all the time, and that Shai should have divorced me a long time ago…and oh poor Shai who LE is doing a charity for by letting him stay in the apartment while I am driving him into the poor house with my extravagant spending.

Of course, she didn’t believe any of it. She’s been in the position of being slandered, which is partly how she lost her mercy towards men and concern for what other people had to say about her. So I asked around a bit, and what she told me was confirmed.

When we asked LE if he was the source of these rumors, he denied it. We don’t know for certain how much of it he was behind, but his shady friend Blob was certainly behind most of it. We could have suspended judgement and let that go a bit because wealthy people in the Carmel are always talking some kind of crap. I’m sure every one of them has some story about their tenants or employees they tell to boost their status or whatever. It’s wrong, but somewhat forgivable.

…but then the hostility became more direct. From a safe distance, while on a trip to Tiberias, probably to show off in front of Blob and/or some others, LE strangely asked Shai to send him a copy of the rental contract (which he already has). He claimed that he had not read the contract before (which is an obvious lie since a few years ago, he made an amendment to it that Moon and I had to sign, waving our right to stay there if anything happened to Shai).  Then faster than he could possibly have read and analyzed it, he accused Shai of tailoring the contract in a way that would screw him over, and taking advantage of his friendship. Then LE proceeded to give a shekel amount that he “lost” from being Shai’s friend, which would be the difference if we had been paying the median rent for an apartment today, starting 17 years ago. Cuckoo.

This was when we knew we needed to get out of there a.s.a.p. This dude has either gone crazy or he has drunk too much of Blob’s koolade, and thinks he can just do and say whatever he wants to people with no consequences. Before we get to a situation where I’d be forced to illustrate how certain situations are handled differently in the U.S. than they are in Israel, we had to go.

So thanks to an actual friend of Shai’s, G-Smooth, lending us his realtor, we found a great place very quickly, with an awesome landlady. The apartment is accessible enough, and has rails so when I get my knee surgeries, I will be able to use the bathroom and shower with minimal or no assistance. It has some issues, being a relatively old building, and with some of the newer things not being done as professionally as they should have been…but it’s okay. We are the perfect tenants for this kind of place, as we are all mechanically inclined, and know how to maintain things.

Anyway, we moved in about 10 days. It was exhausting, and it will take us some time to recover, but we did it. Not only that, but to the best of our ability, we left the old place as we found it…even metaphysically.

Diva helped me set up my new altar, which I will no longer have to move twice a year:

And last night, we hooked up the gas range, so I was able to make us a little feast:

I made some Nigerian-ish beef stew, chicken and radish stew since Shai hates tomato sauce, and some rice.

So we’re about 10,000 N.I.S. deeper in the hole, and my knees will never be the same again, but we are going to be alright. Our real friends came through for us, and I am grateful they are in our lives.


My pronouns are whatever you're comfortable with as long as you speak to me with respect. I'm an Afruikan and Iswa refugee living in Canaan. That's African American expat in Israel in Normalian. I build websites, make art, and assist people in exercising their spirituality. I'm also the king of an ile, Baalat Teva, a group of African spirituality adherents here. Feel free to contact me if you are in need of my services or just want to chat.

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