Well, last night was interesting.  They were supposed to have a “Black music” (rap, hip-hop, r&b) night at the Levinsky, and I promised UV (one of Jacuzzi’s ex boyfriends who manages pubs and such) that I’d be there.  So after the nightly walk with Hypatia, I went to the Brown to hang out until the event began.

Wednesday night is safe because Warren usually only goes on Thursdays and/or Fridays to hang out with his friend.  He has a friend there, a very hot older man who is probably who I should have been flirting with, but it wouldn’t have gotten either of us very far.  At some point, if we started having sex, I’d break him.  Even when I was smaller, I was still a very strong girl, and unless a guy has good, sturdy hips and legs, it’s going to suck for him or for me. 

I’ve already learned the hard way about love not being enough to overcome sexual incompatibility from the side of the one who was grown out of.  Though Shai and I were able to get past it, I wouldn’t want to put someone else through it.  It can make someone feel inadequate even though nothing is wrong with them.  They just don’t fit between my legs.  So it’s better that he understands that my interest in him is platonic.  He doesn’t need to know why.  Now, he can assume that it’s because of Warren.

So I’m sitting in our usual spot, in the back corner of the bar, near the kitchen doorway, and having a nice time.  The barmen informed me that Warren hasn’t retrieved his gift, but it’s cool because as I said, if he doesn’t take it, Skin will.  The other night, he made a kind of a joke that since Warren has dropped the ball, I’m his girlfriend now.  I was like, “What number am I in the harem?”

Last night, it seemed like less of a joke.  He’s introducing me to people as his girlfriend.  I realized that I was being gamed when these people included a parade of a variety of women, some of whom seemed like relatives, but not all of them.  He also made sure to tell every guy at the bar that I’m his girlfriend.

It could be a protective gesture, so I’m not taking it to mean anything more than platonic yet.  It seems like “cavalier game” where an unavailable guy behaves flirtatious as a positive ego booster, even if he’s not interested in anything deeper.  Barmen like me for some reason.  Maybe it’s because I’m a happy drinker, even when I’m telling them I just got dumped.

He is probably trying to cheer me up by letting me know I’m cool.  I do appreciate it.  I’m pretty sure I’m not his type, at least not yet, but it’s nice to be encouraged not to become bitter.  So I’m making him a belated birthday present: a love talisman that is supposed to attract the ladies.  It’s a dark purple star sapphire pendant on a necklace with silver, red, and black beads.  I think he’ll like it.


My pronouns are whatever you're comfortable with as long as you speak to me with respect. I'm an Afruikan and Iswa refugee living in Canaan. That's African American expat in Israel in Normalian. I build websites, make art, and assist people in exercising their spirituality. I'm also the king of an ile, Baalat Teva, a group of African spirituality adherents here. Feel free to contact me if you are in need of my services or just want to chat.

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  • You’ve read the article, now get the t-shirt! :-D