Enforcer Milestone: Wall Test

As some of you may remember, I had a bit of a setback in weight loss due to knee injuries.  I’m not back up to my previous higher impact activity level, but I am on my way.  For now, I’m still dancing and doing floor work.  I have gathered though that despite what may be the conventional wisdom, people of all my streams of ancestry need to walk briskly, run, and jump sometimes.  Something in the bones is strengthened by this, and at my age, this counts.  The trick is, as I learned the hard way a bit, to be smart about it when one is in recovery.  My joints and ligaments aren’t like someone who never touched canola or refined salt.

Anyway, thanks to some Russian friends being truthful, I am back on track.  Intermittent fasting has become much easier.  I’ve noticed though, that an old feeling has returned: real legit hunger.  I don’t mean stomach growling and a bit of discomfort from this.  I mean blood sugar dropping, cold sweat, and trembling…like when I was a kid.  I also have cravings for foods less often, and certain herbs and spices more often.  If there was such a thing as hawaj with stevia candy, I would probably almost never actually eat.

My sex drive has also shot through the roof.  I thought I was horny before, but it was never like this.  Never.

Berthana has shrunk but the Twins still remain.

Berthana has shrunk but the Twins still remain.

Anyway, when I checked my weight, I noticed something else: my shape has changed for the better.  I was so happy to have an actual waist again.  Now I can pass the wall test without a bra.

So, things are going well.  This will probably be my real last year as a fat woman.  I don’t really know what is going to happen, relationships-wise, but I’m doing my best to “travel light”.  I know some guys I am going to lose, so I’m filtering very aggressively to make sure anybody I’d be dating truly has my wellbeing in mind regardless of his preferences.  If someone *has* to have a fat woman, as much as I like him, I know I’m on borrowed time at this point.  I’m living quite happily on 2 cups of black coffee, a salad, and maybe 2 cups of rice or porridge and a chicken breast, steak, or bowl of beans per day.  (I can eat as much as I want, but I just don’t want so much anymore.) I’ve lost 10 kg. in the past couple of months.

If there is a sort of a downside, femininity-wise, it is that I am losing the layer of fat that covered my boyish mouth area.  My arms are also looking more butch.  Thankfully, I consider some of this a good thing.  In this country, if a woman is too feminine, she is taken for a fool or something.  So actually looking a bit scary is a bit of an advantage.  Very masculine men aren’t phased by a little butch anyway.

My balance shifting has been a bit of hell on my knees and feet.  I’m re-learning to walk in some ways.  It hurts, but I will get over it because ultimately being lighter will mean less stress on my lower body.

Basically, things are going well.  I’m back on track.  🙂


My pronouns are whatever you're comfortable with as long as you speak to me with respect. I'm an Afruikan and Iswa refugee living in Canaan. That's African American expat in Israel in Normalian. I build websites, make art, and assist people in exercising their spirituality. I'm also the king of an ile, Baalat Teva, a group of African spirituality adherents here. Feel free to contact me if you are in need of my services or just want to chat.

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  • You’ve read the article, now get the t-shirt! :-D