Just when you thought it was over, eh? Apparently this recent battle with my body had new horrors. I successfully weaned off the steroids, and got my blood sugar down to a level that I don’t have the constant worry of falling into a coma or stroking out. Because of the immune issues involved with coming off of steroids though, I got what I strongly believe is a either a demodex infestation or an allergy.
You know those mites that live in your hair and eyelashes and usually don’t cause any trouble? Apparently my body has decided that they are no longer welcome. Again, my immune response is overkill. So my eyes are red and puffy for now, and I’m washing my face with tea tree oil soap. Bonus, I have to coat my eyelids with petroleum jelly.
I hope that this is the last of it. I’d like to get on with my life. I have gotten back into the swing of things as far as observance and workings maintenance, but readings are troublesome right now. This will just take the time it takes.
Recently, someone to whom I owe my ass and maybe my life has passed away. He was the pastor of the church my parents were going to in the early 80’s. He and his wife convinced my parents to stop trying to beat Christianity into us. He was one of the real ones. So a bit of light has left this world. I’m told there was no warning. He just suddenly leveled up. No suffering at all. Though I feel it is way too early, as appointments with Iku go, this is among the best, and the kind such a wonderful person should have. No bureaucracy, just the stamp.
Out of respect for his beliefs, I’m refraining from direct offerings, but I can’t help that he will be on my mind when I give thanks to the departed and ancestors. If anyone is on the fast tract to honored ancestor, it’s him. Between his family and all the people he has helped, his legacy will live on for generations. I can vouch for those of us who, by showing our parents a better way, gave us room to deal with our issues and grow, and for some of us, an example and a way to be better parents ourselves.
He was no angel, just a man, but he was an honest man who shared his journey and the lessons learned from it.
The timing is interesting though. In a couple of weeks I have to have a “sichat yechasenu le’an” with a certain child of Obatala who our ile’s queen Diva has a “complicated” relationship with. It has reached the point where the awkward has overshadowed his practical role, and we need to figure out what it is he wants to be to us as in the ile, separate from whatever it is he feels for Diva or doesn’t.
Outside of the cultures wherein Vodun or a related ATR is part of one’s upbringing, children of Obatala are even more frustrating than they are within those cultures. They need to be trained for service from childhood or at least by the teens, or they run the risk of becoming uselessly esoteric or uselessly depressed but too uselessly arrogant to work through that in a reasonably healthy way. The worst is when they get onto some misinterpreted non attachment kick, and then treat everyone as if we are wrong for wanting them to count at least friends and family into their obviously arbitrary priorities. We’re not supposed to ask them for anything or expect them to come through for us, but then they get offended when we stop asking them for anything or depending on them to do anything because some flaking incident convinces us that they are right about themselves.
Like, we’re supposed to hear the crap coming out of their mouths, see the things they neglect, but still treat them as if we see them as someone who gives a crap. Riiiiiight.
Anyway, I’m not judging. We all have our scratches. Just before things move forward, I want to see where he’s at so I understand how to proceed. See, the thing about children of Obatala is that I know they are capable of being awesome leaders, teachers, and nurturers all at the same time. They are also capable however, of being corrupt megalomaniacs who use their powers of persuasion and the “opiatic vapors” that emanate from them, to do a lot of damage.
For our sanity and safety, I need to know what is going on before any more damage is done. If he’s going down the latter path, we can’t walk that road with him. He’ll still be a part of us and part of our history, but a shameful part whose bad behavior we do not approve of or support in any way. One can’t undo what has been done, and covering up is just creating more toxicity than addressing the truth, but one can be fully transparent and take responsibility.
So whenever my eyes are calmed down, I will be hitting the ground running. Wish me luck.
Blessings and Ashé!