Once again, we the meat are being ground. Thusfar, I’m in that space between some bones that hasn’t been chewed up yet. If fortune smiles on me again for some reason, I’ll live with the memory of this. I live with the memory of the last big war here. I live with the rocket strikes and attempts in between. I wonder if one of these times, some shrapnel or falling debris will take me out, or take me to the hospital and further disability.
I wonder if I will make it to the shelter in time. I understand what a luxury that is right now, as many mourn their loved ones.
I don’t say much other than that during these times. My voice is not the one most people want to hear from. I am “none of the above”. No religious designation because mine isn’t on the official list. Also, Israel is not my ancestral homeland even if it did provide the cradle for my parents’ belief system. I prefer the origins of that system’s origins, but we live in peace.
As long as I am living anyway, I love my family despite our differences in spirituality. I hope their beliefs give them comfort while their daughter insists on living (or dying) in a country at war. As for me, I take comfort in the miracle that is life itself. Its fragility and fleeting nature. Someday, maybe soon, maybe not as soon, I will melt back into the Earth. Until then, I try to live a life of love and usefulness in that. That is enough for me.