The rage against women is rooted in what the late feminist scholar Dorothy Dinnerstein identified as the “female monopoly of early child care,” where an isolated woman is seen by the child as the sole source of nourishment, physical soothing, and emotional support. In a mobile and economically unstable society, it falls upon an individual female to become the entire world for the child. The male child, finding his needs frustrated, develops rage. As the brilliant Canadian psychologist Gordon Neufeld points out, “frustration is the engine of aggression.”
via Jian Ghomeshi and the problem of narcissistic male rage | Toronto Star.
Again, western feminism rears its overly sheltered head in analyzing male narcissistic rage, and why it’s on the increase. Increase in the isolation of mothers is directly caused by the combination of postmodernism and feminism and overly individualist arrogance, but somehow, this is still the “patriarchy’s” fault.
So it’s the patriarchy’s fault that women are dumping their husbands for no good reason, alienating themselves and the children from their fathers and extended family, failing to teach them limits and boundaries, and therefore raising narcissists. Okay…
Anybody who has gotten up close and personal with a male narcissist knows that these are some of the most feminist men on the planet. For them, feminism is the best way ever, to get out of any personal responsibility. In many ways, a male narcissist is a twisted version of an extremely solipsistic woman in a man’s body.
The same way they don’t get the boundaries of appropriate or inappropriate behavior, they don’t get the boundaries between male, female, and androgyne either. They wouldn’t know how to balance something like androgyny, which is one reason they are a scary feature in the Gay community. Horror stories abound of Gay and Bi men and women who’ve been in relationships with narcissists who berated and often beat them, cheated on them, and made them think they were wrong for being so “possessive” or “conservative”.
…but I digress. The problem with narcissistic men is not that they should be more feminist. Feminism is the way they justify their horrid and often violent behavior towards women. In their minds, women are the same as men, and if they wanted to, could defend themselves just as effectively. So in the narcissist’s mind, the person is taking the abuse because they want to be abused, or because it is right for them to do so.
It’s not the partriarchy’s fault that women are choosing to be physically and/or emotionally absent from their children, or that so many women have decided to use their kids as pawns and keep the fathers (which includes other positive male role models) absent. Men want to be there for their children and young relatives. They are simply not given the option.
So ladies, you eat what you cook…or didn’t cook because you didn’t have time because you kicked dad out because someone on the television told you that “not being attracted to him anymore” meant you should divorce him rather than get your hypergamy in check. Now your son is a narcissist.
For the ladies and gentlemen out there who are in danger of being picked out by one of these, avoid them if you can, and dump them if you can’t because they are a wash…but don’t blame the patriarchy for the feminism of the parents.
