Dealing With Haters

I love my haters.  They’re my best press and the evidence that I’m doing something right.  Their attempts to “put me in my place” are welcome challenges that ultimately end up confirming the legitimacy of my position.

What’s funny about that is that I’m not particularly rich or famous.  I’m just me, and don’t apologize for that.  Yet for some reason, the self designated sheepdogs of the herd sniff me out for saying the simplest things like it not being a good idea to abuse people for not being close enough to whatever the herd deems perfect.  That’s like blasphemy against their Santa god, and they attack with religious fervor.

Like severed hands on the belt of Kali, I tend to wear their sorry excuses for insults like jewelry.  They are the sacrifices of dignity voluntarily amputated and lain at my feet.  Their songs over the years are as stylized as hymns.

There’s one of my old favorites: You Are So Ugly

You are so ugly
Why can’t you see?
You are so much more
Ugly than me.

This makes you worthless
Worth less than me.
You are so ugly
Ugly to me.

You must be sorry
Apologize
For being unpleasant
To my tender eyes.

If you do not
Well then you’re a bitch.
You should be hanged
Or burned like a witch.

I demand you agree
With my view of your worth.
Most people do
All over the earth.

We all think you’re ugly.
Why don’t you submit?
Why don’t you enjoy
The taste of our shit?

We do so love shitting
One hole just won’t do.
We open our mouths
And can’t help but poo

That you are so ugly
And worthless to us.
We sorely resent
Your making a fuss.

Not only must you
Account for your actions
But you’re required
To bear our contractions.

We can be human
But if we are honest
What we require is
That you be a goddess.

You Angel of Ugly
Must suffer our sins.
While we reject you
You must want us in.

While we abuse you
You should smile and dance.
While we just use you
You should want romance.

When you do not give us
All that we pray
And show the same boatman
You one night will pay

We’ll punish you for
Defending your life.
Oh shit! It’s a gun.
We’ve just got a knife.

I really don’t see how people figure they should be able to spew all manner of crap at people, and those people aren’t supposed to hand it back to them.  Well, yes I do.  That’s what most people do: suck it up while the more aggressive, just as mortal as they are, verbally defecate on them.

It’s funny how that works.  I learn a lot about humans from watching cats.  I have a female calico who is not the biggest, but is the loudest.  Whenever I’m distributing snacks, she always feels she has to be first.  What’s even weirder is that when I put a little in one bowl, and move to the next, rather than finishing what was in the previous bowl, she jumps to the next bowl.  Every bowl I fill she has to beat all the others to.

Her little plan always gets foiled when a bigger female swats her in the face.  Then she moves away but is still complaining and trying to make all the others miserable because she didn’t get what she wanted for being merely aggressive and not actually better.

Something to think about.

I’m just a cat who wants to get to her bowl without some little wannabe standing in my way, growling at me because they think they’re entitled to what they didn’t earn: my respect and good will.  Too many people think that the way to earn people’s respect is by being a dick because there are too many pussies.

I understand that’s not going to change, but it would be nice.