Honesty: “I Won’t Survive”

This is at once a parody and how a woman being honest feels when someone who broke her heart really badly returns.

I Won’t Survive

It’s why I am afraid

Why I’m petrified

Thinking about how it would be

To have you by my side

But then if you left me again

Or once more did me wrong

Could I be strong?

Would I know how to carry on?

So now you’re back

From outer space

I overestimated then

But now I know my place.

Since you I put my heart on lock

And then I threw away the key.

I even understand

Why you never respected me.

Before you go

Walk out that door.

Just hear me out now.

I’m not angry anymore.

You really hurt me with a hell of a goodbye

And I did crumble.

I thought I’d lay down and die.

So I say I

I won’t survive.

I can’t go through that pain

And at the same time stay alive.

I have those for whom to live

And so though I do forgive

I must survive.

I must survive.

Even with all of my strength

I did fall apart.

There is just no way to mend

The pieces of my broken heart.

Though I no longer feel

Sorry for myself.

I sometimes cry.

It’s hard to hold my head too high.

Yes I have changed.

Not the girl you knew.

I still love you to the death

But I’m afraid of you.

So thank you for dropping in

But in a way you’ve set me free

Because now I understand

Nobody will ever love me like me.


My pronouns are whatever you're comfortable with as long as you speak to me with respect. I'm an Afruikan and Iswa refugee living in Canaan. That's African American expat in Israel in Normalian. I build websites, make art, and assist people in exercising their spirituality. I'm also the king of an ile, Baalat Teva, a group of African spirituality adherents here. Feel free to contact me if you are in need of my services or just want to chat.

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