The Nile is in Egypt but Denial is in Babylon

Crazy AssOn the other side of that madness we call love, since the person I loved didn’t exist, it’s time for strategy.  I learned a lot from this past experience.  It taught me how to spot a closet feminist and/or male green card whore.

Red flags listed in hindsight, for the benefit of other women who might find themselves in similar situations:

  • Has been a “fan” of mine (jacking off to my photos) for 8 years.  This means that for 7 of those years, he either wasn’t motivated enough or confident enough to make a serious move aside of telling me I’m pretty.
  • Claimed to be straight, but showed up for first date in pink, I’m sorry, salmon polo shirt.  Needs no comment.
  • Did not behave territorially when Diva and I walked him to the bus stop.  Yeah, I know.
  • Did not kiss me goodbye.  Again, I know.
  • Is a security guard, but hasn’t been in a fight since the army.  I personally have been in three fights since he got out of the army.
  • Studied dark magick, but stopped practicing when “weird things started to happen”.  Desires power, but too afraid to pursue it earnestly.
  • Chose to focus on NLP instead. Lacked the dedication to keep pressing on until one learned and mastered genuine influence.
  • Said that heartbreak is something that just happens and people should just get used to it.  Doesn’t take responsibility for causing heartbreak, and is too frightened of anger to express hatred for those who harm him.
  • Hates Russian/Slavic men.  Jealous much?
  • Likes Russian/Slavic women because “they know their place”.  Their stiletto heels in his throat maybe.
  • Prefers a kind of death/black metal that has been aptly coined “screamo”.  Not bad in and of itself, but if one likes this more than roots, thrash, or folk, one has the mind of a pretentious whiny teenager.
  • Likes some of the upper end intellectual satanic screamo, but does not truly understand or internalize the lyrics.  If I could go back in time, I would lock him in a room and reread them to him verse by verse until he understood how he embodied the worst criticisms.
  • Was rude to Diva after she graciously hosted our first night together.  Does not appreciate anything due to massive amounts of butthurt fueled entitlement.
  • When his stories didn’t quite add up, and he was confronted about his neglect, did not take responsibility.  Not a man.
  • To this day, claims he did nothing to me.  Not a man, and is in denial of sex differences and social contracts as well as natural realities regarding relationships.

In short, if a guy is in denial of the power of his penis to elicit emotion and impregnate, fears power even in spiritual/psychological terms that aren’t neatly packaged in psychobabble, and is angered by a woman being a woman and caring about him, then he is a weak person, and probably a feminist.  This is not a guy you want to trust with your heart, since he feels no responsibility for how he handles it.

As usual, as I pass through another trial of wisdom, I feel a sort of elation and relief that I survived.  This is tempered though, with some apprehension about the future.  I hope that the next lesson is something like how to improve vaginal endurance when one’s boyfriend wants sex too often or something, and not in how to avoid another brand of wuss.

When I say that I feel that I dodged a bullet, many of my younger friends don’t quite understand that I’m not just consoling myself.  They’ll get it when they’re older, and see how these things pan out.

I have a friend/neighbor who owns a local pub.  It is a great place and made a lot of money.  She’s a non Jewish, Romanian woman who, a bit over 10 years ago, met a Jewish Israeli guy when she was working as a translator.  Naively, she came here to live with him, and invested most of her savings in opening the pub.

For ten years, they ran it together.  Like me, because she’s non Jewish, she didn’t get the free ulpan.  Her status was as a legal cohabitant, and with her money and his knowledge, they made a thriving business together…or so she thought.

His image started to unravel shortly after that.  He couldn’t stand up to his ex wife, who constantly made trouble, and he spoiled his children to the point that, I shit you not, they don’t feel they need to bathe themselves regularly.  His oldest son is a slob through and through.  You can smell him coming before you see his lummox frame approaching.

Because of troubles with the ex wife, they couldn’t live together in peace.  Eventually, he moved out, but they were still a functioning couple somewhat.  At some point they opened the relationship probably because the ex was still pressuring for sex too.  A man has to be whipped to be able to get it up for that level of castrating bitch when he has a hot, blonde, slim Romanian woman in an apartment nearby.

Then he decides that since the oldest son is crying for privacy, this wonder of wussery moves the boy in with my friend.  The room he stayed in became a landfill within days.  Despite the house being otherwise full of cats, large rats nested in his room, and he didn’t seem to care.  He also abused the cats and the dog.

So we did a hot foot, and the boy ended up getting out of there.  She also later moved to a different apartment.  Shortly after that, more problems with the ex, and her finding out that he had been stealing money from the pub and not paying taxes for years, of course broke the relationship.

Because the business was made from her money and is in her name, she has to pay back all of the debt and all of the back taxes.  That wasn’t enough for him though.  Because he’s a pussy and can’t just take his hits like a man, he blames her lack of knowledge of his deception for his deception.  He still writes bad checks in her name, steals from her account, and it’s like playing whack-a-mole to keep up with all his fraudulent activities.

Because he has connections in the police and the mafia (who won’t get their money from him if he goes down), he has a hissy fit and breaks everything in the pub, and she gets her legs cut up from the flying glass, but guess who gets arrested?  She does.  He constantly accuses her of abusing him, some incidents of which, she’d have to be omnipresent to have committed.

He made another pub in the same building as her, on property she owns, and she can do nothing about it because the police won’t do anything.

So she has to put cameras everywhere and hire personal security.  She ends up falling in love with one of her guardians, and they get married.  Then of course, the wuss starts saying it was a fake marriage and they don’t live together.  If this is the case, then he has a very similar and sexual twin knocking boots for half the neighborhood to hear.  I was a witness at the wedding, by the way.

On my way home one day as I was passing by the pub, I caught him outside of there, screaming obscenities, drunk, and crazed.  I confronted him, and asked him why he was doing these things to her.  He said it’s because he loves her and doesn’t think she should be with her husband.  Way to show love there, liar.

So many things have happened, much of which we have on video.  It’s hard to believe this guy’s audacity.  You’d think with the balls with which he is making her life a hell, he could have done right by her when they were together.  You’d think, but then this is how the Babylon twist works.

The end of the fairytale of being attached to a pussy is that even if you do everything right, and are tolerant enough of their weakness, and supportive enough of their businesses, usually fronts for some sort of scams, and they swear that they love you and would do anything for you, is hellishly ever after.  If you have any money, they will steal it all.  If you have any status, they will ruin you.  Whatever vulnerability you have, they will pretend to be as understanding of yours as you are of theirs, but the truth is that they just want to gut you and leave you.  When you are no longer of any use to them, they discard you and then get angry with you for not having anything else for them to use.

20 years from now or less, whoever is with Psatanish will be in a sorry state, if he survives that long.  When I think that if I’d been a little more willing to ignore the red flags, and a little less inquisitive about all the things that didn’t add up, that could have been me, I feel relieved.

Some of the relief is in that if I was in the same situation Catwoman is in, I would burn the place to the ground, and do the time with a smile.  I don’t ever want to be driven to destroy something I invested my whole life’s savings in, especially not because of a pussy who can’t manage his life or control himself with money.

Psatanish already can’t manage his life, and already doesn’t take responsibility for his actions or his situation.  It’s like he has some sort of disconnect in the mental field of cause and effect.

He doesn’t understand how his rudeness towards Diva cost him an opportunity to gain much less expensive access to lawyers who could probably have solved some of his legal problems in days or weeks instead of months.  He doesn’t understand how being able to show that he had a girlfriend who is a hard core witch would have made a coworker who he rejected think twice before accusing him of b.s.  He doesn’t see how anything he has done or does leads to any of his troubles.

This is a bad start…but for me, it’s the end.  He doesn’t care, so it’s no longer my place to care either.

I am grateful to the men who used to be at Roissy in D.C. for teaching me what mainstream men really think regardless of what they say, and through reverse engineering, female apocalypse game.  I should have let slip the poodles of kawaii from the beginning though.  That would have nipped it in the bud.


My pronouns are whatever you're comfortable with as long as you speak to me with respect. I'm an Afruikan and Iswa refugee living in Canaan. That's African American expat in Israel in Normalian. I build websites, make art, and assist people in exercising their spirituality. I'm also the king of an ile, Baalat Teva, a group of African spirituality adherents here. Feel free to contact me if you are in need of my services or just want to chat.

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