Am I Ugly?

Many young girls on the internet are asking this question lately.

As I’ve said many times, the only truly ugly woman is one who has lost her womanhood. This can be done the Smigel way by worrying about the wrong thing and neglect, or the Darth Vader way of active hatred leading to the voluntary sacrifice of humanity for “perfection”.

There are people who’ve done just those things.

In my struggle to keep my daughter, an extremely intelligent young lady, from falling into the frumpy feminist trap like so many of her peers, I have learned that a gentle tone is not the way to handle this situation.  You girls need to be informed that yes, in large part, you are ugly.

I’m sure you’ve seen the party situations where it’s a good mix, but all the guys are hounding on the one or two hottest girls there.  Instead of hating on guys for being shallow, take an actual look around.  Take a real look at the girls getting the most attention?  What are they doing?  What are they wearing?  What is the difference between them and you?  Between them and most of the other girls at the party?

If they aren’t waving their vagina in everybody’s face, chances are that they’re just healthy, active, fun, and well groomed.  You can be all of those things.

In order to do it though, you have to get your head out of your ass.

Whatever the trends, humans still need to survive.  Your appearance is how you advertise your viability to men.  If you look like you can’t take care of yourself, no man who has a choice will want you to be the one taking care of his children.

Like goes to like.  If you look like you don’t care about your appearance, you will attract only sick men who like women who don’t care about themselves.  I can tell you this from personal experience as a fat woman.  So long as I was being lied to about how much of a handicap it was in a western culture, and the things it implied to the western mind, every time I went out without everything else tight in my look, I was sending a bad message about myself.  I can’t have a bad hair day or just not feel like putting on makeup.  If I do, I have to brace myself for the fact that I am wearing an “easy target” sign.

On the other hand, if you look like you’re obsessed with your appearance, you will attract sick guys who are obsessed with your appearance and/or their image, whether or not you are neglecting your personality.  The line between healthy care for one’s appearance, and obsession with it is at quality.  If you have to reduce the quality of something in order to alter it to conform to a trend or standard, that is obsessive.

If you are signing up for early aging, baldness, and palomino skin by 30 so you can look “hot” today, you are going to get a man who will dump you as soon as you start paying the price for your stupidity.  He doesn’t want to pay the price of having someone a little less trendy today, who is going to still be there when he goes bald and can’t get it up as easily.  He’s not thinking about a future, just his image.  That isn’t going to change about him.  So you don’t need to be a dumbass.  You’re not getting anything good for it.  Not worth it.

So what we have in your generation is girls who are worrying about the wrong thing.  Get this in your heads: feminine = beautiful; unfeminine = ugly.  Got it?

So be a girl.  Be happy to be a girl.  Groom yourself in a way that makes it clear that you take a lot of joy in being a girl.  Then you can’t be ugly, no matter who nitpicks about your flaws.

You are not ugly so long as you allow the beauty in you to shine through your appearance.  You are only ugly when you stifle that feminine light within you.  So stop doing that, and you’ll stop being ugly.

I’m fat, and not in the best situation, but I still pull pretty well.  I know a woman with a similar but milder condition to  the Elephant Man, but she is incredibly feminine, and still pulls.  The only thing making you ugly is that you feel ugly because you are trying to shape the inside from the outside instead of nurturing the beauty inside and letting it out.  You are not doing anything for your beauty by painting over it instead of from it.  You are not doing anything for your beauty by forcing everyone around you to be silent about their opinions instead of living a life that proves them wrong.

Beauty really does come from within.  It comes from a person loving and caring about themselves and the people around them.  If you care about yourself, take care of yourself.  If you care about others, take care of them.  Then they see a bit of what you see.

So when a girl shows a photo of herself and asks, “Am I ugly?” I am very tempted to reply, “I can’t tell.  Do you have a photo of yourself cooking? Caring for a child? Hugging someone? Knitting? Defending someone? Or at least looking at someone you love?”

Actively expressing love…that is the most feminine thing there is.  The love that changes the diapers of the young and the old with joy and dignity.  That’s beauty.


My pronouns are whatever you're comfortable with as long as you speak to me with respect. I'm an Afruikan and Iswa refugee living in Canaan. That's African American expat in Israel in Normalian. I build websites, make art, and assist people in exercising their spirituality. I'm also the king of an ile, Baalat Teva, a group of African spirituality adherents here. Feel free to contact me if you are in need of my services or just want to chat.

One Comment:

  1. Pingback: Am I Ugly? | The Ferrous Scrolls - Game for Girls

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