Making My Bed

My RoomHaving spent so much time in it due to the latest bout of flu plus tonsillitis, I understood it was time to update my bed. My burgundy and pink zebra print sets are becoming worn, so it’s time to get new stuff. Unfortunately, leopard and snake print sets are either insanely popular or insanely unpopular, I don’t know which. In any case, sets were difficult to find for a reasonable price. They basically don’t exist anymore in Israel, and on eBay, the shipping is generally outrageous.

I did manage to find a few things though. I have to kind of piece things together, but I found what I needed…and by need, I am probably talking about a bit more bedding than the average woman today is aware constitutes a reasonable bedding set. Those who sell “beds in a bag” still apparently know, but since most folks are buying “duvet sets”, “bed in a bag” is unfortunately changing. One used to know what one was getting in that, but now you have to read the packing list.

A fair amount of stress is involved with choosing bedding for me because unlike others, an African woman in Israel can’t get away with keeping it simple. Those of us who were raised to know what a bedroom set is (Hi Mom!) have to pull it out from the valence to the runner. If we can afford to, it’s from the carpet to the canopy and curtains.

So far, I have ordered the carpet, the valence, the bedding, and the runners. I’m still looking for some curtains and a reasonable canopy of mosquito netting. Along the way, I did find a couple of extra goodies on the cheap…some good towels and a Santa reminiscent plush blanket. ::dirty smile::

Oh, something I wanted to share about bedrooms and the whole decorating thing. Y’all out there have to check out Marie Kondo. She is a Shinto master of organization. If you want to get your home in order without pain and judgement and keep it that way, adopt her methods. She’s got a show on Netflix, and has written a few books on the matter.  Although she says many of the same things as my mother, it’s a lot less painful when she says it. My mom has helped a few clueless home makers and hoarders in her day. I can imagine her doing a Christian version of the Marie Kondo method. Keeping one’s home in order is a spiritual pursuit regardless of one’s belief system.

How you keep your room is indicative of how you’re keeping yourself. The correlation isn’t always obvious. It’s not that you’re a bad person if you have a messy room. It’s just that having a messy room indicates that you are in need of some care for whatever reason. Sometimes the same thing that causes the mess and disorder is the same thing that is causing stress in one’s life. Handling the living space tends to open up those things to the conscious mind. You’ll see that happen with some couples who take on the mess in their home with Marie.

“Does it give you joy?”

My zebra bedspreads gave me a lot of joy. Soon maybe they’ll give someone else some joy. Maybe some young queen low on funds will pick them up. I should definitely leave them in Hadar somewhere. I thought about repairing them, but I would rather they go to one of the type who knows how to sew. So I’ll leave the tears in as a filter against lazy hoes.

As part of my thanks and goodbye to them, I will tell their story…

Some of you know, I struggled to manage myself in Israeli culture. I knew how to be smooth and intimidating to stay out of trouble in the U.S. but I had no idea how to go about that in Israel. The more unfeminine I became, the worse I was treated. I didn’t understand it.

So Diva helped me to get my image together. I am enjoying it a lot because it is more truly me than I ever looked in the U.S. after high school. Once I got the clothes and makeup down though, I needed to fix my room. In the States, I already understood that the bedroom should be a comfortable and welcoming place. Here though, it needs to be not so comfortable and welcoming. The pro sex easygoing attitude that says you’re a rebel in the U.S. just says you might be lazy, a hippie, or just broke here. At the minimum, someone like me needs her room to look like some thought was put into decorating it.

The Princess BedLater, Diva instructed me on the rest of the home, but for the moment I really really needed to handle the bedding issue.  So the search began on eBay. As it is now, it was really difficult to find anything. Time was ticking.  At the time, I was trying to get back in the saddle and find new studs for my stable, but when I realized what my ugly sheets were saying, I was embarrassed to have anyone over.  My room was very not expressing the demanding, spoiled bitch princess that I truly am.

Okay, so I was the spoiled bitch princess who fixed old dolls and built things out of the boxes before thinking of playing with the toys, but still. The only man I call Daddy is the one who raised me, and I don’t need another. That’s the conventional side.  On the freak side, I already have a husband too, so unless or until someone is a contributing member of my household, they are the handyman. They may be a favorite or even beloved skilled worker, but if their resources are not being brought into my room, it is MY room, and built around my preferences and my comfort. Anyone who steps into my room needs to know his place without having to be told.

I do enjoy a well made bed. I have a system of covering that is optimally comfortable for me. It consists of layers so that covers can be added or subtracted to manage my changing surface temperature through the night. I use four pillows. I prefer my sheets at least 300, if possible 1000TC Egyptian cotton or the new fangled bamboo-microfiber blend.

So yeah, my setup was going to cost. A lot.

Then there was a crazy sale in England of all places. Granted, most of this stuff is made in India or China nowadays, but certain packages like bed in a bag are usually marketed to the west. It was a miracle to find my zebra sets. I got the burgundy for the winter and the pink for the summer. I was so happy. The same place also had a sale on bamboo mix sheets.

When they came in the mail, they were each in a huge box. I had to take the things out of the box and stuff them into my cart, and they still didn’t fully fit. I rolled them home, which caused my knees a bit of distress, but it was so worth it. I finally had proper bedding.

Know what? I think I will repair the burgundy one after all…give it one last run during the month or month and a half before its replacements begin to arrive. Some beautiful pintuck pillowcases and a duvet cover are on the way, as well as new valences. I’ve also ordered a 3 piece set in leopard and one in snake print. Again, most of these are coming from an English company. When I have the funds, I’ll order a nice black dragon bed runner from China.

Meanwhile, I will enjoy my first hard core living in Israel bedding set. When the time comes, I will put them outside as complete sets. The stripes are a little faded, but if someone gives them a fresh coat of fuzzy upholstery paint, they’ll be good as new…just with a bit of history.



My pronouns are whatever you're comfortable with as long as you speak to me with respect. I'm an Afruikan and Iswa refugee living in Canaan. That's African American expat in Israel in Normalian. I build websites, make art, and assist people in exercising their spirituality. I'm also the king of an ile, Baalat Teva, a group of African spirituality adherents here. Feel free to contact me if you are in need of my services or just want to chat.

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