Good Enough

Watch Me Change Today I got a call from Longstroke.  One of his coworkers attempted suicide this past Saturday.

She is a non Jewish, Phillipine woman whose Israeli boyfriend dumped her saying that it’s because she’s not Jewish.  He said he’s found someone Jewish, and has decided to go with her on that basis.

Much like me, the feeling that washed over her was fatal, but suicidal rather than homicidal.  She’s a much nicer person than me.  She didn’t have the requisite callous to consider the person speaking to her so utterly worthless that he wasn’t worth time in the hospital or jail.

Hearing her story makes me wonder if not murdering the guys who had the gaul to say those words to me was indeed the right thing to do.  Maybe if we did kill them when they did that, word would get out and they’d stop using non Jewish (or non Arab or non Druze, respectively) women on the pretense of a relationship.

Then again, the vast majority of people, men included, are stupid and shallow.  So the only real payoff in butchering a sheep is individual deterrent, unless one is in a visible enough leadership position to call it “making an example”.  Since we’re considered insignificant and disposable, cost/benefit has to be done on the spot.  I didn’t think it was worth incarceration, so I stayed my hand.

Her I don’t know.  She’s already harmed herself, so she might think it’s worth it to harm him.  So before she wastes her life in a more externalized way, I’m going to try to have a talk with her to help her gain some perspective.

Now that I feel more at home here, I see people like this guy as people who poop in the public pool.  He and people like him do their dirt and expect the rest of us not to mind the mess they make.  Well I mind, and Longstroke minds.  Lots of people here mind, but we’re shouted down by the idiots.

I can’t honestly say what is the right thing to do under these circumstances.  So I’m not going to approach her with morality or the virtues of being a merciful martyr just the cold, hard truth: she wasted 5 years of her life on Osama’s meat puppet.  He is a broken Jew.  He doesn’t have the nuts to either keep to his own or be honest about his intentions.  For people like that, harming a non Jew is some kind of mitzvah, so any pain that comes out of their cowardice is like a bonus.

She made a mistake in harming herself over that worthless individual who hates himself so much that he would stick his cock into someone he himself views as a farm animal.  He should never see a tear from her, much less blood.  If she had succeeded, he would probably be overjoyed laugh about it with his new girlfriend and male friends.

So she has to live, and has to do well with her life, and give him nothing but the smell of her afterburn, surpassing him in every way.

In this case, living well is indeed the best revenge.

Down the road, when you’re the one who loved out of the box, and they’re the pathetic weakling who scurried back under the skirt of conformity, you find your life better than theirs in many ways.  You know what hard work and sacrifice is.  They don’t.  They will never be able to do anything that is truly difficult.  It’s like the glass ceiling for pussies.

They are forever limited by their inability to do what it takes to get anything that is truly worth having.  The most they can expect from their lives is the equivalent of mindless servitude in so many ways.

You do what you do based on your ambitions and abilities not those imposed on you by people who convince you that it’s okay to live like a slave.  It must really suck to be such a slave that even one’s heart is up for auction.

Ah well survival of the fittest.

I often think that most people who say that to justify what they believe to be their own cruelty, don’t realize that the fittest in the exchange is the one who survives their pathetic attempt at harm.

I hope this woman is a survivor.  If not, there’s nothing I can do for her.


My pronouns are whatever you're comfortable with as long as you speak to me with respect. I'm an Afruikan and Iswa refugee living in Canaan. That's African American expat in Israel in Normalian. I build websites, make art, and assist people in exercising their spirituality. I'm also the king of an ile, Baalat Teva, a group of African spirituality adherents here. Feel free to contact me if you are in need of my services or just want to chat.

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