The Deal

Choose one.

Your beliefs about sex between men and women are the same as they would be between a same sex encounter.  Neither owes each other anything.

They can have a purely sexual interaction or relationship, and it is an even exchange.  Neither the value of the persons nor sex with these persons is increased or decreased by the fact of their having had sex.

Either can have sex with any number of people, and so long as all involved are consenting adults, their value as sexual or romantic partners stays the same.


Your beliefs about sex between men (masculine people) and women (feminine people) are based on scientific knowledge of the biological, and by extension psychological differences between the genders.

You accept that men are generally substantially larger and stronger than women, and that only women can get pregnant.  In addition, women are more susceptible to some fatal sexually transmitted diseases, at least one of which can lead to cervical cancer.  You are also aware that many women die in childbirth, and even in modern cultures, many who would have died in the past, still end up scarred for life. You accept therefore, that a woman consenting to give you access to her body is taking more of a risk than you would be as a male.

Therefore, women who grant access irresponsibly, either devalue themselves, or are behaving like persons of low value.  If a man gains access to a woman who is behaving responsibly, he is being granted a gift of trust that cannot be measured.  If in addition, he is also gifted with children, he is then exponentially blessed.

If a man gains access to a woman who is behaving irresponsibly, by default of the risks she is taking and accepting, he is still being granted a gift, just very much more cheaply than he is led to believe at the time.  He may additionally gifted with children, and whether he considers this a blessing depends how comfortable he is with the biological fact that sex may lead to procreation.


Your beliefs about sex are determined by the religion you adhere to.  Most view women as worth protecting since they bear children, and those that allow for prostitution and homosexuality teach that people who don’t want to shoulder the burdens involved with dealing with women as child bearers and companions should shag prostitutes or other men.


Men need to decide how they want it.  If virginity or chastity or exclusivity means nothing, and everything is just a free-for-all, then don’t expect us to do anything from kindness.  We will fuck only the men we find most attractive, make babies with them, and leave the rest of you to jerk off.  See any ghetto from South Central to Siberia.

In the past, simple logic sufficed to tell women they needed security and protection, and men that they needed to provide this for the women in their lives.  Lesbians and Gay men manage to do this for one another, even under what may seem to others, confusing circumstances.  If I am in a relationship with a weaker, less logic driven woman, I understand that I am the “man” in the relationship.  If with a stronger, more logic driven woman, I am the “woman”.  I have never been in a relationship with someone who was dead even with me in those ways, or seen one, but I would imagine that they would share somehow, but certainly not refuse to be each other’s protectors.

There are limits.  Just as a man should not expect the woman to bear the entire emotional and social weight of the family, the woman should not expect the man to be a cash machine on an incubator.  However, if I am providing sexual release, nurturing, emotional support, and being the social reflection of the man’s stability and status, whether as primary partner/wife or secondary/mistress, and he is not providing me with any protection or security, I am a sucker in an unbalanced relationship.

This isn’t about entitlement.  It’s about balance.  You want an altruistic saint to open her legs and her heart for nothing, then invest in a lot of hand lotion.

What of love, you say?  Men who understand the exchange have no troubles eliciting love in women.  They establish dominance, inspiring admiration, respect, and then trust and dependency.  They either do this the civil way as alpha-enough for family purposes leaders, or they do it as “raiders” who pass through a woman’s life and make her want to follow them to whatever adventure it is they seek…or wait for him at the port “sewing shoes”.

Every truly powerful man with women on the side is making sure none of those women has to go in the streets to pay her bills.  While she’s out there, she might get snatched by someone else, consensually or non consensually…and then he might have to kill someone.

Letting what’s yours float around without any concern for what it’s doing or what happens to it is the behavior of peons who may like to think they are kings, but have no authority or real status…and women are hypergamous.  If you don’t invest in your territory, then you aren’t worthy of it.

So this isn’t about what the women are worth.  It’s about what you are worth.


My pronouns are whatever you're comfortable with as long as you speak to me with respect. I'm an Afruikan and Iswa refugee living in Canaan. That's African American expat in Israel in Normalian. I build websites, make art, and assist people in exercising their spirituality. I'm also the king of an ile, Baalat Teva, a group of African spirituality adherents here. Feel free to contact me if you are in need of my services or just want to chat.

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