Lifehack For the Second Heartbreak Onward

I believe that frequent heartbreak is an unnatural thing to endure sanely. I am sure that between the lines and behind the scenes in the days of old, romantic love existed and people shagged around and were abandoned or failed or mistreated often. We are talking about humans here. The thing is that the heartbreaks people experienced most often were rejection, inaccessibility of the objects of one’s affections, and the death or incapacitation of one’s partners. It wasn’t taken for granted that someone would be rejected a lot *after* having sex, and when they were, as legend tells it, nobody expected them to be sane.

It was expected that there would be extreme sadness, anger, depression, suicidal thoughts, and at least some attempts at vengeance. Indeed, when people today in modern, westernized countries experience this, one would think they’d been a virgin defiled and then left at the altar hundreds of years ago.

So I set to thinking about how someone could possibly learn to get over it without becoming a monster themselves. I experimented on myself, I’ll admit. It’s a mad social scientist thing to do, and I have no degrees in psychology to fall back on or justify my work. The sources of heartbreak may not have known this is what they became afterwards, but I figure it’s not their business. They were objectifying me and mindlessly treating me badly, so fair is fair.

This will do nothing to help the first heartbreak, but it will help the second, third, fourth, etc.


Use music to help you to get over the first big heartbreak. Make a playlist and start with sad songs of lost love. Then add songs of damaging love that people in their right minds should escape from post haste. Then add angry songs. The more cathartic and condemning of human stupidity the better. Then add recovery songs. This can include motivational happy songs. I recommend a lot of power metal.

As you start feeling better, one by one, remove each category of songs except recovery and happy songs. Pick one each of a recovery song and a motivating song to be your anthems.

Then the next time someone breaks your heart, fails you, or you see either of those coming but don’t yet have the sack to say the ending words, listen to your anthems.

If this doesn’t work so well, then start the process over from the beginning. Those songs did not speak to you enough. So you need new anthems.

Eventually, when you feel it coming (in the air of the night, heheheh), listen to your anthems. Listen to their remixes if you need to. You will notice that you will feel much better and ready to move on.

…or not. It works for me, and may work for you.

Travel light, children of Oya.


My pronouns are whatever you're comfortable with as long as you speak to me with respect. I'm an Afruikan and Iswa refugee living in Canaan. That's African American expat in Israel in Normalian. I build websites, make art, and assist people in exercising their spirituality. I'm also the king of an ile, Baalat Teva, a group of African spirituality adherents here. Feel free to contact me if you are in need of my services or just want to chat.

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  • You’ve read the article, now get the t-shirt! :-D