Not Investing? Not Interested.

One thing I wish I didn’t understand about cis men is where and why they invest or don’t. I know that if I was truly pressed, I could count on any of the men who married me or call me a friend for real without a “just”. They’re on the same level as most women who are close to me. I don’t have to worry about much except my health and safety when they’re not around. I’m spoiled.

So I know what’s going on when someone doesn’t invest and takes zero interest in what I do.

What baffles me is they expect me to, like, make time for them.

Why, you may ask?

Because I’m not conventionally western type beautiful or weak enough, even while disabled, for this to be sexualized by average, mundane masculine people.

Since I’m old and have no use for this secret anymore, and I’m probably not the only one feeling this, I’m going to tell it. I judge men not only to see if they’re flexible enough to take my perceived masculinity in normal life and actual masculinity in spiritual life at times. I judge them to see if they’re not going to use that as an excuse to ignore or downgrade my femininity. If being able to chill means I don’t need to eat or have where to live, or have time and energy to deal with folks in order to have the desire to, then that dude will stay in the not even a friend zone.

A guy doesn’t have to have a lot, just respect for my time. If he’s not investing in my life or my business then he doesn’t get to complain about being prioritized beneath it. It doesn’t have to be money, but it needs to be something that allows me to carve out some energy without running on a deficit.

My mistake before I figured out that I’m demisexual, was letting guys believe they were more to me than they were. Now I think everybody is clear where they stand. If you’re in the same emotional situation as me, I urge you to come out and come clean with the people in your sphere. It’ll be a whole lot less headache and drama.

Blessings and Ashe!


My pronouns are whatever you're comfortable with as long as you speak to me with respect. I'm an Afruikan and Iswa refugee living in Canaan. That's African American expat in Israel in Normalian. I build websites, make art, and assist people in exercising their spirituality. I'm also the king of an ile, Baalat Teva, a group of African spirituality adherents here. Feel free to contact me if you are in need of my services or just want to chat.

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