Israeli Hell

So that you know what I’m talking about when I use the term “Israeli hell”, this is where it came from:

Three lawyers are in a car on the highway.  One is American, one French, and one Israeli.  They get into a car accident, and all three die at the same time.

They arrive at the gates of hell.

“Welcome!” says Satan, “Welcome to the gates of hell.  Since you’re all lawyers, and get a special place in hell, each of you has three options:  American hell, French hell, and Israeli hell.”

Satan points his pitchfork at the Israeli, “You get to pick first.”

The Israeli thinks for a moment and says, “Well, all my life I wanted to live in the U.S. so send me to the American hell.”

Poof!  He goes to the American hell.

Satan points to the Frenchman, and he thinks for a moment and says, “Well secretly, I too wanted to be American.  So I shall go to the American hell.”

Poof!  He also goes to American hell.

Without even having a chance to get pointed at, the American shouts, “I want to go to the Israeli hell!”

Satan was a bit confused.  He says, “I can see why you wouldn’t want to go to French hell.  Nobody wants to go there.  Everybody usually wants to go to American hell.  Why would you want to go to Israeli hell?”

The American says, “Well, as you know, we got into the accident in Israel, where our driver wasn’t exactly a driver…”

“You are correct,” Satan reveals.  “He didn’t even have a license.”

The American nods. “While I was there, the food wasn’t exactly food, the only people polite to me were thieves, and the hookers just gave hand jobs…”

Satan says, “Yes, it is one of my favorite countries.  Very well then.  To Israeli hell you go!”

Poof!  The American goes to heaven.


My pronouns are whatever you're comfortable with as long as you speak to me with respect. I'm an Afruikan and Iswa refugee living in Canaan. That's African American expat in Israel in Normalian. I build websites, make art, and assist people in exercising their spirituality. I'm also the king of an ile, Baalat Teva, a group of African spirituality adherents here. Feel free to contact me if you are in need of my services or just want to chat.

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