“If you need things inserted in your ass, please find someone else for that. I am not interested.”
Bear in mind, this is an Israeli dating site that is a known “meat market”. People feel free to be very explicit even above the bounds of this being a “dugri” (read Klingon like) culture.
Why would a woman not being willing to shove dildoes up guys’ asses make her *less* attractive?
The Annihilator, available at eXtreme Restraints
I believe that it is because pegging has become the new thing that so-called progressive guys do. The guys one meets on the street aren’t really into that, and most of them aren’t very actively picking up online. The guys online with any consistency, are the ones using a lot of porn instead of actually getting laid, so they are being influenced by that more than by actual real life women.
Exploring this issue, and looking around at various forums and blogs, it seems that guys are under the impression that this is something all women like to do, or would like to do if they gave it a chance. “White” capitalist feminists have made it a “thing” by promoting the idea that pegging will bring a couple closer together. Indeed it may if the guy is a latent homosexual or near asexual who can’t be stimulated enough through his penis, and doesn’t mind his wife going out to shag more classically masculine men. For most people who’ve tried it though, it has just made the woman less satisfied with the relationship, and the man left wondering why a woman he basically pressured to be the man, is no longer as interested in him.
Look, dudes if you need a dick in your ass, you are most likely Gay (or Bi). Stop kidding yourselves. It’s not the end of the world. Though very few guys are 100% Gay or straight down the middle 50:50 Bi, sex is such a pressing need for men, that many of you are flexible enough to “make due”.
I learned a lot about masculinity by watching my cats. The non neutered ones in my yard are built like little tanks. They were well loved, so they are well adjusted, so life is all about mating and defending mates, relatives, and the territory they live in. The neutered ones, you might think turned into something like females, but no.
When the females were spayed, they stopped liking too much attention and petting. Some stayed somewhat affectionate, but nowhere close to the neutered males. The neutered males often still did mating-like behaviors for years after they were neutered, and their need for physical affection and petting *increased*.
I’ve heard similar things from others with pets and farm animals. Males need physical affection much more than females. One male cat I knew didn’t even need to be neutered until he was mid-life because his keeper would just pet and hold him through the heat times. He was alone and domesticated, so he didn’t know what mating he was missing, just that he needed to be held and touched for some reason.
Whatever your moral beliefs are about homosexuality, that’s your business, but you should understand something: females are not males. We are never going to be males. We can’t be. So if you want a happy cisgender or cis leaning woman, don’t try to make her be the man. Though I haven’t lived in the body of a Trans woman, the ones I know who I’ve discussed this with also do not want to be “the man” in their relationships. Someone dating them should not be dating them expecting them to be a dressed up man. They are women.
Yes, it’s relative, cultural, and personal, but someone is who they are, and whoever they are, they’re not going to be someone else just because you project your desires for who they should be onto them.
If you have a moral problem with homosexuality, add this to your list of burdens that you must bear for the sake of your religion. You won’t be able to soothe whatever urges you have by trying to make women do the job. So you either have to find a man, or accept your fate. Become a monk, or just decide not to have sex with anybody until you find a woman who truly enjoys pegging, if you must.
but I will tell you something. If you have no problem with fornication, you shouldn’t have a problem with homosexuality. Forget religion, just speaking in Nature terms, having sex with a woman with no regard for her feelings or her future is, essentially, homosexual. You are asking a woman to emotionally be a man.
I’m not saying that you’re Gay if you have pre-commitment or noncommittal sex. I’m just saying that, in real world terms, you are offering her nothing, and only pretending that you are not taking something from her. Sex between men and women is not an equal exchange of services.
The origin of the idea of non marital sex as sinful is not just to ensure paternity as much as possible, but to protect women from exploitation. This is why religious women go along with it (at least publicly) despite hypergamy (which yes, I know is a reaction to patriarchy/hegemonic “white” supremacist models of masculinity) pushing us towards the most alpha.
The way the men who could sexualize other men in ancient times found to balance this social obligation vs. need for physical affection to be healthy and happy, and stay invested in their society, was to shag each other. They leaned on each other, just as many other male animals do, unless or until they could get a female, and in the case the females they could get were less physically affectionate than themselves.
The vast majority of women can’t get into fucking men because we are built to be receivers of penises, not givers. We don’t have a penis, or technically not the same sort of we’re cisgender, and don’t know what the urge to fuck is even like. We can’t connect to that. Also, a dildo has no nerves in it. We’re not feeling it. It’s just a dead inanimate object in our hand or strapped to our lower torso. As a prosthetic, if we wore one all the time, it may become like a part of us, but as someone who has two synthetic knees, I can assure you this would take years.
Have you tried shagging with a softie? It doesn’t even give us what that gives you.
So please, let’s stop this nonsense. There are not hordes of women out there dying to shove dildoes into guys. Demanding this from us just convinces us that you are Gay, Bi, or worse, in denial or a pussy.
A man of courage who likes to take it up the butt, goes out and finds a man to do the job. Pussies try to trick women into it so they can stay in the closet. A man of courage builds strong relationships based on honesty and trust. Pussies get a woman to fall in love with them, and then pull out the dildo and emotionally coerce her into having to deal with his feces and blood or lose him.
You are not fooling anyone. Come out.
Now IF (and it’s a big if) you are one of those extremely rare exceptions (I actually found one and only one, five pages into Google, back when it actually gave relevant results sometimes, and I suspect he’s one of those very masculine top-straights who may occasionally sexualize feminine men and just not tell anyone) who does not like any sexual contact with men, never fantasized about sex with men, and never imagine while being pegged that it is a man shagging you, I recommend that unless your wife/girlfriend is really into pegging, you get the strap-on or anal action from a prostitute. These are women who get paid to do whatever you like, and it has no effect on your normal relationships unless you are attached to a sadist who likes it when you are deprived.
My whole point in this article is that bringing “alternative” or gender-vague activities into your relationships can be a big disaster, and seeking this from women who do not advertise that they are into that will earn you a lot of rejection. It’s just not something most of us are into.
Update: July 16, 2014
As expected, a commenter has told me that I should kill myself. This seems to be the go-to response when someone has told a little too much truth these days, so I’m keeping it.
It does go to show though, the pressure and coercion that goes on in the bedrooms of many women who have been drawn into the world of kink against their higher will. Technically, they may be consenting, but they are consenting under emotional duress.
Some may say they deserve it, or that they don’t have a “case” because nobody would actually hit them if they refused. However, dragging one’s kids through their parents getting divorced, or the threat of infidelity is not something that can be easily dismissed. The heart is not a court of law, and many women do things to keep their family together, or keep the man they are in love with, that personally disgust them.
A little reminder who you’re calling a prude.
In the Black Dominatrix post, I explained why I shifted from props to Primal. I understood that what was expected of me became what was demanded of me, but it wasn’t who I was. I respect those who are into whatever they are into, but I am not going to do things that I’m not into, or encourage other women to sell their souls to do things they’re not into.
I am also not going to join the mainstream in the lie that what a person likes sexually, has nothing to do with their orientation that a man fantasizing about a big penis thrusting in and out of them is not Gay, just because the person with the big penis has breasts. They certainly aren’t fantasizing about anything happening with her vagina.
In fact, in every case I’ve seen, the pegging ends up overshadowing her vagina until pegging the only sex the male partner is excited to have. I do not know and have never even heard of a couple that has gotten into pegging, wherein the man still wants to shag his wife or girlfriend just as much as before. The long term result of bringing pegging into the relationship is almost invariably her needing to get the cock she needs elsewhere.
This may be acceptable to some people, but it is not acceptable to everyone, or I’d bet even most people.
Gay men and men who prefer to have sex with men or sex that mimics sex with men should go have sex with men. Stop trying to turn women into men.
Update May 22, 2023: I tweaked the language to be more inclusive. In the English speaking world, we’re in the midst of a kind of culture war in the U.S. that of course spills over, and does have a lot of necolonialist backing this side of the pond. It needs to be more clear, especially when discussing generalities and norms, that exceptions are not wrong or bad.
The point of this article is that feminine people generally do not want to be shoved into socially or classically masculine sexual roles, and definitely not coerced or against our will, not that pegging or gender bending is bad. It’s not. It’s just generally not our thing.
With all due respect, I completely disagree. Men enjoy pegging because of the intense pleasure that prostate stimulation can offer – equal to G-spot stimulation in women. In other words – intense pleasure is what drives them primarily.
The area of your body that you enjoy having stimulated has absolutely no bearing on the gender you prefer to do the stimulating. If they were connected, then a lesbian who does her lesbian partner with a strap-on – they must both be straight, right?
The misconception that men who enjoy anal stimulation are gay is quite prevalent and also quite incorrect. A recent study showed that only 36% of gay men even have anal sex.
@Ruby, whatever two people in a relationship decide to do together is their business. However, what one chooses to do is usually motivated by their orientation and fantasies. These things don’t just pop into the mind from nowhere.
I did account for the rare cases in which it is just about the stimulation, but I’ve been around the block enough as a counselor to say that those cases are extremely rare. Usually, if a guy need a dick in his ass, he is Gay or Bi. There is also a wide difference between guys who may enjoy a finger on the prostate, and something the size of a dildo. Finger on the prostate guys are more into the wiggling than the thrusting.
I’m no prude, dear.
Gay, Homoflexible, and Bisexual men (who have been largely silenced in the conversation around pegging) do feel closer to their female partners who accept and find some joy in the activity. However, a guy should not go around thinking that it is common or that women are more okay with poop than most of us are.
I mean…if you ever once experienced the displeasure of pulling something out of a guy covered in mucous, trails of blood and some weird possible food remnants, and a bit of poo, you can see why a girl might develop an aversion if she didn’t have one to begin with.
Men should not be trying to sexually coerce women into being Gay men. That’s all I’m saying. When I enter a relationship with a man, that is not what I am signing up for.
Stuff like this is why humanity is fucked up and now robots are becoming an option.
You say ‘assigning sexual activities a gender’ wtf do you think is Nature? Women DO NOT have dicks/penises and men DO NOT have vaginas. Nature assigned it.
Cunnilings and fellatio shouldn’t even be brought into this, everything involved in those are NATURAL. People don’t have to get fake/plastic tongues or hands to use in that act. But a fake/plastic dick is representation of the MALE species.
You are trying to come off intelligent, but your are just confused. Women do NOT have dicks. Men have them. You will never know how it feels to be INSIDE a man or a woman. Never… Ever. A man that desires to be fucked in the ass, is bisexual or homosexual and in the closet.
I had to go through your blog to make sure this wasn’t an Onion type, satirical post. Sadly, it doesn’t appear to be. I don’t think I’ve seen a more ridiculous set of assertions on this subject in all my years online. You could kill yourself and the collective IQ of the planet would rise a few notches. Jesus, at the stupidity.
@Cassandra
Well, thank you for proving my point about how fake people pretend to be tolerant and open minded, but if you tip one of their holy cows, they show their true colors.
It is highly disrespectful of women and Gay men to propose that a straight or bisexual woman should kill herself because she, personally, does not wish to engage in a specific sexual activity. Sexual coercion and emotional abuse is bad enough in an intimate relationship. When you bring it into the public sphere, and enforce your values and fetishes on others, it is a compounded monstrosity.
I will not be coerced or shamed into any sexual activity that I do not like or that makes me feel uncomfortable. If that reality troubles you, then perhaps you should take your own advice.
…and I don’t believe everything people in white coats tell me. If you are “alternative”, you would do well to avoid that particular trap.
For some time, the fetish communities were somewhat protected from some of the popular dysfunctions because of the sheer effort it took to get there. Nowadays, everybody thinks they’re cut out for whatever they see on the screen, and it just isn’t so. So we get abusers posing as Doms and slackers posing as subs, etc.
Be careful before you get too excited about a former taboo becoming the new “thing”.
You are so full of ‘shoulds’ it boggles the mind. A ‘counselor’ would know better.
@Ruby, a requirement means there is an “or else”.
Do you not see how that is emotional abuse and coercion for a partner who is already in a relationship, and repellant to someone who isn’t?
Is everyone required, not just to accept the fact of, but to be into what you are into?
Is it right or healthy, for instance, for a man to tell a woman that oral sex is required in his relationships or else…?
Is a woman who is not into oral sex required to do it to please her man or else?
If there’s an or else with any teeth, it is emotional abuse and manipulation, and nobody, male or female, has to go with it. Just because the apparent victims are male in the case of pegging, doesn’t make it less abuse for him, if he is being coerced…and just because the man thinks receiving a penis is victimizing, and plays the role of a victim in the roleplay, does not make it any less abusive of her if there is an or else.
You’re the one being narrow minded, and not accepting that your rights end where another person’s rights begin.
I get that you are very much invested in promoting pegging as something 100% positive, but just like any other kind of sex, there’s a right way and a wrong way, and people who are an aren’t going to be into that. The right way is to find someone who is into what you’re into, and do whatever you do together. It is wrong to find someone who is not into that and then pressure them to do it, and worse pretend that the person being pressured and possibly emotionally and/or physically abused is the one who is wrong for not being “open minded” enough.
People who decide to bring something into their marital/commitment bed should have full information about the possible consequences. As a kinky person myself, I decided to address this issue…for the same reason some people run safe houses.
Host a few men and women who needed to get away from partners masking abuse through kink and using abuse to pressure partners into more extreme activity, and you’ll see my side of things a little more clearly.
I’d also like you to bear in mind that you are on someone’s personal blog, trying to shout down their personal opinion about the nastiness of emotional abuse, and cultural pressure to engage in sex acts that are personally distasteful.
Ruby Ryder
You have feminine issues of self hate. It is unnatural to have sex that way.
You thinking fucking is an act of control or domination. Because that is what you think men are doing. Look at every other area of nature and the animal kingdom… no pegging. Because it is physically and mentally unnatural.
lol – what you accuse me of – you do, honey – you have OR ELSE written all over your opinions, which you are not representing as your opinions, you are representing them as truth. At least I owned it – you purport yours as the way things “should” be. That takes a very special kind of narrow-mindedness in addition to an extraordinary lack of awareness.
You don’t want to do it? Don’t do it. But don’t try to tell people who enjoy it that you know better than they do about their own bodies and their own orientations. That is, frankly, laughable.
We all know your opinion is in the minority for women, studies done on the sexual fantasies of women show over 80% have frequent submissive fantasies and report aversion to the idea of dominating a male. Thrres a reason mean solicit fem doms: because the bulk of women are disgusted by dominating a man.
Ruby, you are obviously not reading the actual words as they are written, and seeing everything through filters of looking for a fight.
Comment again when you have read what I actually wrote.
I am not telling people what to enjoy. I am stating what I don’t enjoy, and speaking out for others who feel the same as I do. There is nothing wrong with us just because we don’t like what you like.
As far as people knowing themselves, people do know, but people lie to fit in and to follow trends. I think a healthy minded fetishist would be concerned that people are misusing the fetish as a weapon to abuse people.
Some Gay men trying to pass, convince their female partners to peg them so they don’t have to go through the stigma of being out. Some Bisexual men get their woman to peg them so they don’t have to risk the stigma of being thought of as Gay by their straight peers, or because Gays don’t trust them and they don’t want to go through the drama. Some straight men are into pegging because they feel like the most humiliating thing they can think of is being a woman being penetrated. They’ve been told all their lives by feminists that women are some sort of idealized victims, and this becomes a part of their fantasy life.
Denial doesn’t change the facts.
Laugh as much as you like. In the end of the day, you are still a woman, and you still have to choose whether you want to fight the fight for true empowerment or continue to frame yourself as an object. One reason I prefer primal over pegging, I suppose, is because I actually am a strong woman who has seen her share of combat with men. I don’t need to pretend to be a man and wear a penis to dominate someone. The cock has never been the thing that said someone was superior for me.
So I don’t see a whole lot of difference between someone wanting me to wear a rubber penis and fuck him, and him asking me to wear a rubber penis while he fucks me.
So I think that both parties have a point. I think that not all men that like pegging are gay, but there are definitely those men who may start by pegging and then come out of the closet because they wanted to creep out slowly. They may like men or both women and men. Then there are guys that are totally straight that do not think of a make penetrating them. I don’t think Iron Wynch is saying that there aren’t those men, it just seems that in her experience and from the amount of pegging enthusiasts she has met, the completely straight ones seem to be in the minority.
Now I’ll tell you my experience. I have naturally had the desire to submit to a woman sexually, emotionally ( if I feel comfortable) and financially one day if I can ( not to ruin me but control our finances make sure retirement will be good and spoil herself a bit more than she does me and a lot more if I am not following her orders). So pegging was not a natural desire for me. However when I started watching porn, my tastes went from more relaxed types of domination such as doing tasks for women, massaging and worshipping her feet and pussy, being spanked, and reprimanded, to many more extreme things like pain chastity etc. After I stopped watching porn my desires are now back to more service oriented submission and foot worship, pussy worship, etc. So my first point is that porn can alter sexual tastes.
My second point is that after trying pegging, I enjoyed some sessions and didn’t enjoy others HOWEVER, when I thank back to the times I enjoyed it I was enjoying it because I was thinking about the porn scenarios. As soon as I stopped watching porn, I didn’t enjoy the pegging. I even thought that I shouldn’t have to have her wear a dick for me to worship her, I should feel submissive to her sexually for her being a woman. Also when I was pegged I felt like I lost my sex drive for a couple weeks so me and my girlfriend were both not happy. And by the way I am decently alpha in real life ( work our, in med school to be a doc, etc. Etc.). However My submissive side had been more of a masculine submissive side such as foot massages, rubbing, and fucking her good because that’s what she wants. I make sure she cums first which to me is serving of me and then only do I cum. I have strong hands and massage her feet and body and eat her pussy even if she doesn’t give me head. I’ll still cook and clean for her and she does for me too. But the thing is when I serve her I get pleasure out of it. She thinks of me as masculine and dominant and I think of myself as submissive and serving her. So were both happy. If I dominate her in the bedroom it’s because that’s what she wants and I am still serving her. When I refrain from cumming it’s for her, so I can fuck her better. I’m still her bitch in every sense of the word. So we’re both happy like that. One day I hope I can have her control the money that I make in a productive way for both of us but spoil her a bit more. And I’m Dominant in the gym and in my career life and if a decision needs to be made I’ll make it. Tell me what you think about our situation. One thing I do want to do is drink her pee and we drink each other’s spit during sex.
It sounds like you are very fortunate to have a girlfriend who would take that journey with you. Now that you’re more clear about what you like and what you don’t though, tread very carefully if you want to make this long term or a marriage. Being the man, even the submissive masculine man at home is important if you’re wired that way. Bringing too much weirdness into the sex can ruin it because at some point, she might just prefer a good fuck with a man who likes to fuck and doesn’t need the circus. Some women like the circus and some don’t, but know who you’re with before going there. What we’re willing to experiment with in our youth isn’t always what we like once the realities of life like kids and back aches kick in.
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We have a few thoughts regarding your text as a heterosexual couple who includes pegging in our sexual life.
A) Either you have vast experience in pegging with various partners from many psychological groupes,
B) You have contact with many very open people experienced in pegging who share their thoughts with you. In this case, do they know what you think about them? It got to be very stressful for you to be surrounded by the people you despite.
C) Your ideas come from the fact that you saw some porn movies and grew on some conclusions from that. If so, I would not advise to you to watch Star Wars. Your vision of world could change abruptly.
If any of this is true, you are either a real masochist, or have no real base knowledge to write on the subject. Making psychological assumptions based on porn actors and actresses is lightly speaking very, very wrong and weird.
So generally what you are saying is that Gay men are so strangely twisted that they ask woman to peg them, instead of just having sex with another men. I am heterosexual but I guess it is much easier to find another male for discreet sex, rather than asking a female to peg. So it has to be a really twisted gay kink. Such men could be called closet hetero. heh
But seriously, I know you try to be provocative but you are only showing disrespect to other people. In our relationship we are both strictly heterosexual and neither of us has any homosexual fantasies. However we like to give myself to each other equally. It is a physical and emotional pleasure. The emotions coming from my absolute trust to her, our love and the fact that she cares for me is immense.
We both never had any fantasies in the past about pegging with earlier partners, and I can tell you we are both experienced. I never wanted to do anything like this with anyone else before. I love her as she is, and this is just another way to make love. And for that we need her to have a dick. It is a dick, because it is the easiest part. And yes, we both find it kinky that she has a dick in that moment. She is not better just different. It does not make her better because we are always equal. There is no competition. We just use a toy to have more opportunities to show love to each other. We are not pretending that I have a pussy. I am satisfied of being a man. Other men are for me so asexual I could not imagine having sex with one. I only fancy women that is why I am heterosexual. Also if she would feel that I am not masculine enough we would not be into it. We change roles not our sexes.
And last but not the least of all. By promoting the idea that anything that two people are doing together can be humiliating and bad, because someone else says so, even though they both like it, you are hurting many people. Most people have so many problems with their sex life misinterpreting and not understanding many basic things in erotic life and feeling guilty for no reasons.
AND PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR (I am the Lady of our happily pegging pair)
When someone is forcing someone into intercourse it is called a rape no matter what they do. When they both like it is a sex no matter what they do. If consensual sex can be treated as a rape, than consent stops to be a distinction of what rape is. We are getting awfully close to saying that non-consensual intercourse doesn’t have to be a rape. AND THAT IS SO WRONG!
[f] I know that people are pro or against pegging but seriously, am I the only one who sees this absurd:
a woman is obviously attracted to gay guys, as she is not only having sex with them but as well building relationship – several times. No better scheme for good sex and relationship for a woman – just choose the gay who is called that just because he is not able to have it with her.
Woman who had slept with 3 guys to discover shocking fact – all 3 gays preferred dick! I can guess not the one on strap-on and tits hanging above. That would describe gays as guys having sex with women just with some extra toys. Gay marriages would be then definitely open for more couples.
The woman who want to be treated like real woman! Who want to be fucked by real man! So what does she do?
She changes her daily sex routine to fetish based on attaching woman a penis. Nothing more convincing if you want to be feminine.
She want her Vagina to be worshiped! So she covers it by strap-on and makes sure that all fun could be done like she doesn’t exist.
She wants to be dominated – and she’s surprised that she doesn’t get to follow the fetish which is based on very important fact – man renounces his domination. No chance!
She as well have the worst sex I can imagine – you are fucked by a guy who at the same time dream about having fun with your brother.
Is she really a partner fit for a discussion for you? Do you even consider what is her vision of great sex? I love my man, I live with man, I fuck my man, my man fuck me as putting a piece of silicone between us won’t even bring a doubt about him wanting me as a woman and me wanting him as a man. If you could doubt your partner by such situation, just leave him now. When you consider that he is capable to fake all his passion, loving you as a woman just to get to stage to make you pretend that you are a gay with dick, as that what he want’s, you consider him being psycho. Not a good sign for a relationship.
This is the BEST editorial I’ve ever read on the subject. Ignore all those who write to attack or even threaten you. You have CLEAR logical thinking. I loved the observation of cat behavior too!
Who can hear the word prostate and not think prostate cancer, anyway? Do men go for prostate exams and enjoy it so much they want to sexualize it?
It’s like the 21st century has run out of new ideas, and instead of accepting the fact humans have been here a long time, and maybe we don’t need new ideas for sex (if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!), they want to brainswash people into some post-modern fad that undoes our nature.
I don’t understand anyone, male or female, wanting something shoved up their ass. You wanna please your man? Really? Do something radical like turning your whole paycheck over to him. You pay all the bills for a year. Don’t criticize anything he does for a month. Let him fart and belch in front of you and your friends to his heart’s content. But none of those things give the woman power or make him vulnerable. If pegging is the way of the future, build me a time machine! Oh, I am sure some reader will post tales of pegging being popular in the Bronze Age.
Ironwynch, you rock! And you’re right on here. Don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise.
Amen Iron! Seriously I’m so tired of all the men on dating sites wanting women to put things where they dont belong. Almost to the point where I’d rather go back to meeting jerks at the bar!! At least THEYwant to penetrate ME.
And I’m pretty sure a huge amount of these happy little housewives on the internet claiming how “great” it is are really men writing this crap just to try to convince their wives its acceptable and fun. What part of giving a man an enema with a dildo is fun? I guess if you’re desperate for your man’s attention and that’s the only way you can get him interested.
What scares me even more is as I was reading comments on the article I noticed men begging their wives usually had to nag them to death to get the woman to agree, while the women usually just brought it up once before her man decided to “let” her do it. Yah right, more like it took everything he had to pretend he didn’t want it from the get go. If a man originally says no then relents within the first conversation that means he’s begging for it but putting it off like since it was your idea that makes him
masculine still. Bottom line is if you’re into being banged by a chick with a strapon, it’s all good for you but have some respect and at least be honest from the start guys. Like Iron said don’t be manipulative and wait until the relationship is deep and then spring it on her and guilt her into doing it because she loves you. That’s more than wrong its sick.
Ruby Ryder, do you have a job at all besides trolling the internet looking for women to talk into doing disgusting things to win the approval of their “men”?? Seriously if you’re not a fat white man I’d be very surprised. Also, please get a hobby that doesn’t require a dildo and you might spend less time here.
Thank you for this. This situation actually did send me back to the bars. Online dating really stopped being worth the worries. I think the being out and about is a sort of a filter. Passive guys take advantage of the lack of live competition online. All alone, with no one else around, they have your full attention, and can pretend to be whatever they like, but around other guys, they have to compete for attention, just like us. If we’re not feminine and attractive enough for a dude’s tastes, we get no action. If they’re not masculine enough for our individual tastes, they should get none either.
I enjoy pegging but my wife hates it because she gets nothing frombit when i first started pegging it was with an ex andcshe enjoyed it because she was bi and i was a willing sub. But for me, i enjoyed it because i am really transgender and have felt this way since i was 2. So i loved being the woman in my ex’s life. She was the one who wanted to penetrate me. I am still trans that will never go away but i would make a very ugly woman so until they come up with a total body swap i will just live with it. My wife knows but she does not want to engage that side of me. She knew before we married and she was more accomodating then but now we have a sexless marriage. I am more open to explore my sexuality but this is only because i crave sexual contact of any kind. Even though i will never look like a woman because i am just too masculine and big i still like to be held and to feel wanted like a woman. For me pegging was like having lesbian sex. It was gay but not like 2 men… More like 2 women and it made me as a trans feel very special and loved for who i really was
It is disheartening that anyone would project their insecurities and distrust of men and use their flawed misconceptions to suggest that a so-called “real man” has some unwritten obligation to heterosexual women to protect and prohibit their ass from penetration. According to your definition, this should be an exploitative coercion for sex.
It is, however, coming from a place of a vile and malicious spirit to present that men’s role is naturally one dimensional heterosexuality or else gay by default.
If your personal experiences and the bad experiences of people that you have claimed to confide in you or that you consoled (directly or with this blog article) you have a personal bias that makes you less interested in truth and more interested in attacking people for being gay, kinky, dominant or open minded in ways different than your own.
It is further interesting that you would suggest that you or the same supporters of your ill-advised advocacy on the matter of pegging are somehow the victims of non-consensual sexual participation to keep a man. This is out right absurdity which is not grounded in logic or comprehensive to any conclusion that can be drawn in the interest of fairness and equity in a relative discussion.
I would say that I am not of the assumptions of pro advocates of pegging either in that a viable argument should be made for the viability of prostrate stimulation or defending said person on the basis that he is not gay. To the contrary, such arguments only unduly lend some validity to the absurdity suggested above.
The one thing we are certain of in the human species of this sexual/social engagement and experiment is that sex is an opportunity for which no oversimplification of the motivations, sensations and pleasures derived thereof can be reduced to gender, sexuality or mere material apparatuses.
Sex begins in the mind of the least and most imaginative persons regardless to the aforementioned. To try and relegate or regulate a persons sexual opportunities and motivations (beyond what is safe, legal and consensual) is malicious and unwarranted. To suggest pegging is a non-consensual sexual reversal for women is absurd. To pretend that penetration somehow illegitimizes manhood or heterosexuality is just sadly ignorant.
Pegging is not, in and of itself, nonconsensual coercion, but a lot of nonconsensual coercion goes into getting women to agree to pegging men. To deny that is dismissive of the experiences of many women who’ve been conned into marrying Gay men and men with broken masculinity. It also encourages dishonesty and staying in the closet, rather than coming out where a Gay or alternatively oriented man can seek healthy relationships before his masculinity gets broken.
As usual, looking for a fight, and looking for reasons to justify underhanded, deceitful, and emotionally abusive behavior, you miss the point. I feel sorry for the people who actually fall for such twisted “logic”.
“Yeah, it’s okay to lie to your partner about what you like while you’re getting them hooked, or coerce them into a type of relationship they didn’t sign up for. The important thing is that you get what you want.”
Go fuck yourself.
Well I have thoroughly enjoyed our exchange. I am glad you would even engage me -even if to conclude that I go fuck myself. That was clever and funny. It made me smile.
Apparently you think gay is contagious and can be infectious to males by enjoying anal stimulation with a phallus of sorts. That said people of this ilk are not heterosexual. I comprehend your position fully.
Deception is hurtful when dealing with emotions of those you are sexually involved.
Yes a person should literally go fuck himself the way he wants if such activity is publicly met with such repulsion and shaming. It is the best of all possible scenarios in a world in which we all try to coexist and live. (smile)
Gaslighting only works on people who are emotionally invested in you, creep.
If the Gay was contagious, I’m sure they wouldn’t want you to catch it.
Ironwynch, You’re right.
Wow, it’s actually great to see a woman writing her heart out against pegging. Kudos, keep up the good work.
And to lend you my support, here’s my comment (though on a slightly funnier bone).
Pegging is Homosexuality, pure and simple.
How ?
Homosexuality was traditionally defined as sex between man vs. man or woman vs. woman.
But that was the definition of yore. Of a time when TRANSSEXUAL men and women did not exist. Today they do.
But why is that important ?
Because while Genetic Men have a XY genetic constitution and Genetic Women a XX, TRANSSEXUALS have exactly the opposite – XX for men and XY for women – brought forward from their earlier gender.
Therefore today the definitions of man and woman have broadened to include TRANSSEXUAL men and women too.
What even complicates situations further is that TRANSSEXUALS occur in a variety of Styles and Stages, with some going all the way to change to the other gender (phenotypically), while others choosing to alter themselves only partially.
It is this inclusion in today’s scenario that has made it difficult to apply the traditional man vs. man or woman vs. woman test to judge whether a sexual act is Homosexual or not (how do you define who is a man and who is a woman ?).
In such a scenario, the Homo or Hetero Sexuality of an act can be judged only by examining the genitalia of the persons involved in the act.
AND I FEEL THE ONLY WAY TO JUDGE HOMO OR HETERO SEXUALITY OF A SEXUAL ACT (mind you, of a sexual act, and not of behavior in general) WOULD BE THIS –
IF THE PARTICIPANTS INVOLVED IN THE SEXUAL ACT HAVE AT LEAST ONE IDENTICAL PAIR OF SEXUAL ORGANS, THEN THE ACT IS HOMOSEXUAL. IF THERE ARE NO IDENTICAL PAIR OF SEXUAL ORGANS, THERE IS NO HOMOSEXUALITY INVOLVED.
In Pegging, BOTH PARTNERS HAVE A PENIS – AN IDENTICAL PAIR OF SEXUAL ORGANS.
THEREFORE, PEGGING IS HOMOSEXUALITY.
AND TRYING TO DENY THAT IS PURE HOMOPHOBIA.
For a better illustration, if a partner with 36 penises and 24 vaginas had sex of any kind with a partner with 68 penises and 94 vaginas, it would be homosexuality both ways, because both of the partners have at least one penis (identical sexual organ) and at least one vagina (identical sexual organ).
Whaddya say ? 😉
The flaw in this argument is twofold: there weren’t transexuals before western modernism, but there were androgynes. It wasn’t that the people felt they were in the wrong body, just that they were not exactly on either side of the gender spectrum. In some cultures, they functioned as one or the other, with all the duties and responsibilities, while in other cultures they had double duty. So I don’t think the problem with determining maleness or femaleness comes from the existence of transexuals, but from the cultural idea of transexualism…that there is some wrongness that must be corrected rather than the person being okay, just different from the norm, and needing to “butch up” or maybe “bitch up” depending on which suits them. Add that to the postmodernist idea of “there is no authority” including not just society but Nature itself, and there is a complete removal of duty or responsibility involved with being any gender.
I’ve seen the documentaries. Nobody bothers to tell transexuals transitioning into womanhood, what it is like to be an ugly or old barren woman. It’s all “you go grrrl!” until it’s too late, and they have to learn the hard way that there was nothing wrong with their bodies, but their sense of self worth. Same with female-to-males. It’s a hard wake-up call that once they become men they have to be men. Nobody tells them what it’s like to be a beta or omega male. Hope they had an alpha dad with the self awareness to properly teach them. If not, they end up kinda screwed.
Anyway, you are correct in the sense that postmodernist (read narcissistic) culture has muddied the lines, and that there are lines that one should probably mind or else trigger natural revulsions in their partner(s). I do think the identical genitals is a good place to draw that line. I mean, so long as we’re redrawing them, and abandoning hangups that are no longer relevant, what is the big deal if it is a homosexual act? I don’t see a problem with this because I don’t see a problem with homosexuality as an orientation or as a standby. It’s how societies used to keep from having rampant single motherhood. Apes and monkeys do it, for crying out loud. Some species, the males shag each other until they are dominant enough to get a female.
One can’t have everything with every gender. Trying to be everything to everybody will make a person crazy. There has to be a point where it’s okay to say, “I’m not into that,” about whatever a person is not into. Pegging is just one example. One should also be free to say, “I’m not into guys who are not protective,” or, “I’m not into women who aren’t managing their appearance well.” If folks are really promoting freedom, then they should be cool with the freedom to be male and female and androgyne, and not some everything “ideal” that doesn’t pan out in real life.
The writer of this blog is an opinionated,homophobic, idiot. A man being attracted to other men is what makes a man gay, not liking it in the ass for demonstrably physiological reasons(as mentioned above by another commenter). I’m a women, and like anal. Does that make me gay? I ask,because this is where your reasoning leads. It’s as ridiculous as me saying, “you are such an opinionated bitch, because your a fat black women. All fat black women are opinionated bitches right?”
Obviously, you would deny that assertion, for the same reason a straight man who likes anal would deny your assertion that he is gay. .. Because liking it in the ass is not a necessary condition for being gay, in fact there are many gay men who do not like anal sex. Just like the fact you are an opinionated and ignorant bitch has nothing to do with the fact you are fat and black. now, please take your opinions and shove them up your ass 🙂
Did you even read the post? Or are you reacting to what someone else told you about the post because they came here, and didn’t really read the actual post and imagined some prude arguing against homosexuality?
Oh, and nice veiled insult of my weight and ethnicity. You may want to try to be less transparent.
As it is, you’re a bigot, and you just outed yourself. You don’t really give a shit about tolerance or justice. You just want to be able to justify anal sex. I don’t know why you feel like you need to justify it. Whatever floats your boat. I would only have a problem with it if you were emotionally or physically abusing your husband to get it.
Read the post next time.
Wow Ironwynch,
You explain it so well.
Just curious, do you have a degree in social sciences ?
Amazing way you put this up.
Keep up the good work. And don’t get bothered by the ones that try hook and crook to let you down. They do it because they have no other way to cover up for their inabilities.
Best wishes,
Chris.
@Chris, I don’t have a degree in the social sciences, but it is a side interest of mine since high school. Thank you for the compliment, though a lot of credit for this topic has to go to my Gay male friends who are sick of metrosexualism. There are a whole lot of issues they have to deal with because of this, not the least of which is young men who ought to be coming out of the closet or at least reducing harm in the closet, dating and getting married to women who they then try to coerce into becoming virtual men. Eventually, the guy often comes out or makes some other reason to check out, but he leaves behind an emotionally scarred woman who doesn’t trust men anymore, and children who are confused, especially if one or more of them is Gay. What kind of example was their dad?
A lot of damage is done when people don’t address their sexuality honestly. When things get twisted, it’s the most vulnerable who end up paying the price because aside of being socially dependent, most people have a hard time with “virtue when they have a shot at vice”. The kids end up losing the most when the parents are weak and dishonest.
“My behavior is not all of who I am,” is not the same as, “My behavior has nothing to do with who I am.” The knuckle-heads with a problem with my post think there is no difference between the two. Even if one’s behavior isn’t all of who they are, who they are had everything to do with why they engage in certain behavior, that wasn’t mandated by circumstances.
…but you notice how pervasive the behavioral disconnect way of thinking is, just in some of the responses. They get to freak out about a woman making a personal choice not to allow certain kinds of men and activities into her life or bed, and explaining why, but they’re not bigots or emotionally abusive. Right…
Ironwynch,
The above comment from me is totally broken into pieces.
I think it happened because I first composed it on Notepad and then copy pasted it from there.
So, what I’m doing is I’m submitting another copy of the comment ALL CORRECTED and composed directly on this box. You could do one of the either – correct the first copy yourself and delete the later one, OR, you could delete the first copy and keep the later one (though I think the SECOND way would be easier for you).
I sincerely apologise for the inconvenience.
Thanking you,
Chris.
@ Amy Ansen
(1)
==================
“for…a straight man who likes anal…”
Cunning words, huh ? Setting up your own imaginary premise here ?
A Straight man who likes anal ?
A cow that loves eating meat ?
A lion that loves eating grass ?
A Star that shines by the light of a moon ?
The Sun revolves around the earth ?
We could go on…….
Shut up your nonsense.
A man that likes anal is no way straight.
Getting a dick up your ass is having a man up your ass, because women don’t have dicks.
And a man having another man up his ass is – GAY.
(2)
====================
“A man being attracted to other men is what makes a man gay, not liking it in the ass for demonstrably physiological reasons”
Homosexuals always claim that HOMOSEXUALITY IS IN THE EMOTION, NOT IN THE SEX (SEXUAL ACTIVITY).
But this is self-contradictory.
This means in HOMOSEXUALITY, EMOTIONAL BONDNG comes BEFORE SEXUAL ACTIVITY.
Which means, HOMOSEXUAL EMOTION CAN EXIST WITHOUT HOMOSEXUAL SEXUAL ACTIVITY, BUT HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVITY CANNOT EXIST WITHOUT HOMOSEXUAL EMOTION.
OK, what do the gay men do after they have been attracted to each other ? That is, after Homosexual Emotion has appeared ?
One, they could do nothing, in which case nothing – no sexual activity – happens.
Two, they could indulge in sexual activity, of which 36 % would indulge in anal sex (going by some report that says 36% of Homosexual men ever have anal sex in their lives).
But LETS TAKE THE TRAIL FROM THE OTHER END.
What if you find two men having anal sex ?
Could you infer from that they are emotionally (homosexually) involved ?
You bet you can, because homosexuals themselves say that HOMOSEXUAL EMOTIONAL BONDING comes before HOMOSEXUAL SEXUAL ACTIVITY.
So if HOMOSEXUAL SEXUAL ACTIVITY is taking place, HOMOSEXUAL EMOTIONAL BONDING is already GRANTED/CERTAIN TO EXIST.
So if two persons are engaged in a HOMOSEXUAL SEXUAL ACT, it is ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that HOMOSEXUAL EMOTIONAL BONDING EXISTS between them.
And since HOMOSEXUALS define HOMOSEXUALITY as HOMOSEXUAL EMOTIONAL BONDING, it is ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that HOMOSEXUALITY EXISTS BETWEEN THEM.
Summary – The presence of Homosexuality between two persons can be directly concluded if they indulge in Homosexual Sexual Activity, because Homosexual Sexual Activity directly infers the presence of Homosexual Emotional Bonding.
An old saying comes back here – “Actions speak louder than words”.
Moral of the Story – HOMOSEXUAL SEXUAL ACTIVITY IS ENOUGH TO INFER THAT SOMEONE IS HOMOSEXUAL. YOU DON’T NEED TO GO INTO THE ANALYSIS OF BEHAVIOUR/EMOTIONS, BECAUSE BEHAVIOUR/EMOTION IS DIRECTLY INFERRED FROM ACTIONS.
When someone (man) involves in pegging, asking for a dick in his ass, he is actually asking for a man in his ass, because women don’t have dicks.
And a man having another man up his ass is – GAY.
And if you think, that women do have dicks, then the test of Identical Genitals must apply, in which case the man is again – GAY.
So your statement “A man being attracted to other men is what makes a man gay, not liking it in the ass for demonstrably physiological reasons” is ENTIRELY WRONG.
A man liking it in the ass for ANY demonstrably physiological reason is GAY.
Because a man liking it in the ass for ANY demonstrably physiological reasons is DEMONSTRATING HOMOSEXUAL SEXUAL ACTIVITY (as we have shown above), and HOMOSEXUAL SEXUAL ACTIVITY directly infers HOMOSEXUAL EMOTION (as we have again shown above), and HOMOSEXUAL EMOTION is HOMOSEXUALITY (as homosexuals themselves claim it to be).
(3)
======================
“I’m a women, and like anal. Does that make me gay?”
Amy, since you say that you’re a woman –
If you like anal from a MAN, you’re STRAIGHT.
If you like anal from a WOMAN, you’re GAY.
BUT…..WAIT,WAIT,WAIT……
Wasn’t it me that was saying in my earlier comment that it is difficult
to judge who is a man and who a woman nowadays ?
Yep, it was.
Then let me give you your answer as per the UPDATED DEFINITION.
Since you say that you’re a woman, I’ll assume that you only have a vagina, and no penis.
Therefore –
If you have anal from someone who has ONLY PENIS (one or many) and NO VAGINA, you’re STRAIGHT.
If you have anal from someone who has VAGINA (one or many), IRRESPECTIVE of WHETHER THEY HAVE A PENIS (one or many) OR NOT, you’re GAY.
Lesbian – to be precise.
(4)
====================
Stop insulting people because of their ethnicities. It won’t get you anywhere.
And if you think you can’t stay off it, then a debate podium is no place for you to be. Go hide in your cave.
————————–
So, instead of being intellectually honest and saying, “gee, I see the analogy of intolerance and hatefulness that is being illustrated, and that it exemplifies my abhorrent lack of basic logic”
You instead want to say, “boo hoo I’m being discriminated against by someone who wants to justify anal sex. I’m black and You didn’t read my post, you don’t understand the depth of my complex worldview,because you’re a bigot.”
Instead of telling me to read what I have already read, why don’t you attempt to acknowledge the utter stupidity of the things you have said in your blog!? Allow me to illustrate more clearly for you:
You: “Look, dudes…if you need a dick in your ass, you are Gay
(or Bi). Stop kidding yourselves.”
Me:” saying that is like saying all opinionated women must be
fat and black,because all fat black women are
opinionated bitches.”
People who happen to be men and like anal, are not necessarily gay
Ignorant and opinionated people who happen to be women, are not necessarily fat and black.
Try taking a logic class, instead of LARP’ing in the woods like your doing in that ridiculous picture of yourself above.
[Ironwynch sez: See this? Once you post something here, I can do whatever I want with it. I can make it say that you said, “I love anal sex because I’m insecure and feel like I have to compete with Gay men to keep a man,” if I want. So nope, I don’t feel discriminated against. I just think you’re a funny example of how intolerant so-called “tolerant” people are.]
@Amy, I called you a bigot. Africans can be bigots like everyone else. Also, in English, the term “bigot” applies to all sorts, not just racists…and on race, there are a great many lost Africans living in western countries who’ve become self hating bigots who are disconnected from their roots. I wasn’t thinking about your color when responding, as it didn’t matter to me. An assimilant with cultural and spiritual Stockholm syndrome doesn’t deserve more mercy than their captor.
That you jumped to the “fat black woman” stereotype to make your point, rather than the Domme that was both more applicable and obvious, says a lot about your opinion of the fat, the African, and opinionated women. Now we also know how you feel about LARPing/geeks and African spirituality.
My response was more of a “stop being an ass or fuck off” than a “boo-hoo”. It’s my blog.
By the way, in that “ridiculous” picture, I was just after a ceremony for Oshun, the Yoruba Goddess of love and beauty. You might want to be careful about insulting her. Those who turn their nose up to her gifts tend to lose them.
Amy Ansen
Sorry, but a man who wants a plastic dick in and out of him desires a man. Bi or Homosexuality is a natural expression. The close of homophobia in our societies stops these men from going for what they naturally desire. So they impose via the backdoor of experimentation on women to act like a man. Which they cannot ever, and will never know what it is like to be inside a man(or woman)
a dick is a dick, and only men have dicks.
You absolutely hit the nail on the head, Ironwynch.
Yes, yes, the biggest reason of concern with behavioral dishonesty (or hiding, if someone doesn’t like calling it dishonesty) is the effect it has on the Children.
It leaves their soft psychology permanently scarred. They develop behavioral maladjustments, which can carry well into their adulthood, and maybe last even lifelong.
And in that process, how many more people will they affect ? How many more children ?
And look at the audacity of the ones that encourage this kind of behavior. Rather than caution such people about the terrible consequences of their actions, they egg them on under the pretext of “Sexual Rights”, “Right of Expression”, “Freedom”, “Individuality” and what not. To them the World is limited to their genitals, and the objective of their lives is to enjoy the pleasure therein, come it at whatever cost. Species of a Genital Universe. Then they ridiculously try to defend their actions by saying – “Ok, some people get devastated, some don’t”. Whatttt? If you know landmines blow up people, will you go around putting one under everyone’s feet and see if it blows ? That’s idiocy at its height.
Or maybe, that’s not idiocy at all. It could be vested interests. These people could well have businesses running to encourage these practices, and people walking out on them would mean direct monetary loss for them. So the way out – preach in the opposite wind. And don’t ever care for what it brings about.
What do you call that ? Shamelessness ?
People need to be careful about what they listen to, and whom they listen to. Otherwise their coming generations will have to pay a huge price for something they had no fault in.
Thanks,
Chris.
@Chris, I hear you on the landmines. When we first start to think of being parents, the creating a good nest for children to develop in, is one of the chief concerns. It’s a strong motivator to develop as an individual, but that individual can no longer be overly individualist when they make more new individuals who they have to nurture. One can’t just do whatever they want when other people’s lives and wellbeing are on the line.
As comfortable as it may be for someone to maintain certain illusions, those have to give way to the reality. We know what the consequences are of denial and deceit. I mean, what good is all this freedom and right of expression and individuality if people don’t use it? If people don’t think about the children’s freedom as well? What is it for if not for the children? It’s all just empty words if it doesn’t mean that someone will use the opportunities to embrace reality, and create a better future for those who’ll be living in it.
The vested interest issue comes into play in the spiritual community as well. I’ve noticed that many in African diaspora spiritual communities lack the basic knowledge that would be passed down in a case of actual lineage, but then turn around and trash others in Africa and the diaspora for not being “initiated” or taught the way they were. I didn’t understand what the problem was until I looked around and realized how much money was on the line. As soon as many of us came out of the “broom” closet, we were getting shouted down because we were bringing our true lineage skills into a market full of synthetic fragrances, people who think a cauldron is an incense burner or a glorified pencil holder, still hiding Orishas behind Christian saints that don’t even correspond.
In the same way, vendors of props are shouting down natural sexuality. They’re selling the porn dream to people who don’t have the basics. Making love is a skill born of love, just like gathering herbs outside. If you’re not careful, or are so concerned with getting what you want that you don’t think of the consequences of your behavior, you’ll destroy an ecosystem…and you don’t hand a scythe to someone who can’t even manage their fingernails.
…but these people sell them scythes and tell them this is what they need. This will solve all their problems and fill that emptiness. What they really need can’t be bought. They need to fill that hole and then buy any needed accessories, if any, AFTER that self discovery.
Superb Ironwynch !
I’m beginning to envy you here. 🙂
How well you explain things. I wish I could do that.
Every single word is true. In fact, every single word is VIBRATING with truth.
Wish all those on the crossroads, all those confused, disoriented, would read this. They’d be able to find the right path in their lives.
Words of God. God is speaking through you.
Let them bring peace to everyone on earth.
Amen.
Ironwynch, good post. I think the one detail everyone seems to be leaving out here is the fact that there’s a big difference between prostate stimulation and wanting to be fucked with something that is identical to a penis. Does a finger during a bj make you seem gay? No. Does wanting to be taken with a huge penis? Yes. I realize there are serious gender stereotypes we need to address but to say prostate massage and strapon sex are the same thing is just outright ridiculous.
@Amy ansen, I’m sorry you feel the need to justify your boyfriends homosexuality by attacking someone on their own personal blog, but wake up honey because any man who wants to be fucked with a fake penis is still wanting A PENIS not your vagina, which is GAY.
In response to many of the angry comments – Go on ladies. Peg your men. In 10 years they’ll be gayer than I am 😉 Pegging may just accomplish what yeeeeeaaaars if LGBTI activism have failed. It will sneak in through the back door what we couldn’t get through the front. Pun intended
So, are lesbians/bi/curious women who use phallic toys actually straight?
Men and women are different. One can’t really compare a vagina to an anus anyway. I would say however, that a female who enjoys penetration with an optimally stimulating phallus is oriented differently from a female who absolutely has to have a phallus that is shaped and textured like a penis, which is less optimal…especially if said penis shaped object must be strapped onto the body of a person in order for her to feel good about it.
I personally won’t wear a strap-on with a woman either. I don’t want to be pressured to play a straight man either.
James, no but women are still taught that to be like a man is to be on a higher class. Too many women still don’t value their own sexuality, don’t know how to pleasure themselves. Are too uptight about sex. A phallic toy is still a plastic dick. the woman can sugar coat it however they like. But just accept being bi, get your penetration from a man, get your rub from your woman.
White boys are gay anyway
Why do you even call them men.
@Bigboy, Gay men are still men.
I’d like you to consider, though, how that became the stereotype for White men. Their masculinity has been under attack for a good long time.
They did it to themselves, but if there’s a way out, those strong enough to see it should take it, and we should encourage them to do so. It’s just being a good neighbor.
A lot of what you said made sense… seeing it in my relationship. I am now basically seeing another man on the side. Sad but true. I think pegging has ruined my sexual relationship with my guy. Hate to admit it.
i posted anonymous for personal reasons though IronWynch will know by my other comment. This article is what turned the tide for me… on a very turbulent sea. my psychology began in the womb of a mother who admitted she wanted me to be a girl and talked to the baby in her belly as if I was one… throughout my childhood this would have a serious impact on me the cause remaining unknown to me until studying psychology in University which prompted just two weeks before her death our conversation about her life when pregnant with me.
i was raised by a tyrant of a father who my mother fled from to the abandonment of her children to escape the violence. I have forgiven but never forgotten that pivotaI moment when I watched my father beat my mother to the floor and drag her to her feet by her beautiful long hair and reapeated the beatings several times in one rage. to this day any man who ever harms a woman in my sight has and will suffer a terrible beating at my hands as it sparks an almost unquenchable rage within me. but i digress…
I was raised by this monster who also had no problems beating on children also apparently so I became a very solitude person. I wanted a girlfriend but was terrified of girls and because of my home life had become the type of boy girls were terrified of. when I was ten I learned about masturbation from a friend who described it to me. until then i was non-sexual but i quickly became a chronic masturbator. which led to my unhealthy preference for my own hand and imagination over real human contact with girls until i was sixteen when I was lucky enough to meet my first real girlfriend which we remained for two years until highschool was over, her being two years younger than me and i left home. from 19-25 I had short encounters with a few young women but still a chronic masturbator i used porn (magazines) … now I will sum up in order to change tack that all through this 10-25 timeframe the girl aspect of my personality would manifest itself only in my private masturbation.. i cross dressed and sought out things for anal penetration and considerred myself a girl in the fantasy because in hustler and penthouse i was seeing not only women but alot of penis too and this began to fuel my baser passions which during the period of 15-25 would always follow rejection by females. so that freshly rejected I would entertain these homosexual urges in masturbation and then once the orgasm was over would abandon all evidence of my horrifying secret… which i was deeply ashamed of.
then when i was 24 I finally succumbed to the temptations and sought out a gay man who gladly allowed me to suck him off while I masturbated.. and over the next few years when ever i was rejected or felt rejected by a woman I would immasculate myself this way to satisfy this strange curiosity of girlhood i seemed to seek. I will say i was not attracted to men at all… it was the humiliation factor that aroused me. in my mind there was never a definite picture of a particular man or type of man. but the arousal was that of the dominated under possesion of the dominant…
which leads me to an eight year marraige with a woman who when we met was young and very beautiful attractive curvy… and who after two years allowed her true “narcissus” and tyranical side show and when she began to reject me I turned to masturbation and fantasy… but I remained faithful to her for the remaining six years for the sake of our two children. even though she left me four times over eight years uprooting the children usually for about two or three months at a time… and came back to me pregnant two times and aborted two times… i remained faithful and a man of my word. but around year six is when she began to make herself unnattractive in a masculine way… and from my reading of what seems now to be the largely feminist idea for keeping it together I started to think maybe intigrating my fantasy life and real life would help so we began what this article clearly defines… i coerced her to do things she found unnatural and didnt like.
when she finally left me the fourth time there was no reconciling..
Now over the last four years I ha e been in two relationships with women who were dominant and into pegging and with both of them as the kink became more euphoric i began to lose interrest in their needs to the extent I lost my passion for my favorite past times.. fucking and eating pussy! and that is a true statement because I am not physically attracted to men and the few times i have now allowed gay men to fuck me I did not like it so much… if it can be even stated a rubber dildo worn by a woman is far better. The woman has to be part of the equation… yet i agree that it leads nowhere and so have given up being pegged because my true passion is in my ability to provide women with strings of multiples and my real desire and to satisfy with my above average endowment and attention to detail has prevailed. I am liberated in that I no longer ha e that nagging feeling that I might be gay… I answered the call of my hungry prostate and strange intillectually/imagionation driven/stimulated sex drive… I got to be the girl in a semi healthy at least safe environment finally in my forties with a woman who was totally turned on by seeing me becoming a girl and riding her. the problem is clear though… and that is i began to neglect her needs so i could transform. Now that little girl inside me has been put to rest. I do not identify as gay… or homosexual…. I am sexual. and I have chosen after all the play and exploration to be what I prefer: a dominant man who loves to fuck women and eat pussy! because after all of the quirks and kinks are set aside my favorite intimate moment is when I am in control of a woman who is riding that wave of orgasm that keeps going and going and she is experiencing those strings of multiples and i am keeping her on that wave and it is up to me whether to let her off the wave or keep her afloat upon it.
however… as a suppliment to my previous comment… I must say this is what I want my reality to reflect… the fact remains that during masturbation my imagination still centres on gay sex. the images that haunt my fantasies are of being dominated by men as a man. and in hindsight i realize that my previous statement may not have been true… that in fact there may still be a question in my mind… I will say that I rather feel this article has clearly defined what i have been going through and been discovering about myself. there is a part of me that does not identify as a girl any longer but as a man who desires to be dominated by men. i feel that if i am to overcome this thing it will have to be to not entertain it with future girlfriends. and even now this article seems even more relevant because the only other option i see is to accept that what i fantasize about when i masturbate is actually what I am… and so I guess I haven’t really answered the question which is why I remain anonymous regarding this subject.
anonymous, why be haunted. It is natural sexuality. You need to deal with the teachings that taught you homosexuality is wrong or something that haunts you.
@anonymous, only you can really answer the question of your identity, and how much or how little you wish this to affect your flesh-life. However, I’d like to make a suggestion: polyamory.
One person doesn’t have to be your everything.
With unstable people, anyone in a relationship worries that allowing new partners may mean a loss or at least unlivable distraction. Stable people who actually love deeply do not have this problem. One can love and be loyal to more than one person. People do it all the time. A (good) parent loves all of their children. A sibling loves all of their siblings.
In a romantic situation, you are basically vetting and then embracing someone into your family. Disney makes it butterflies and rainbows, but it is really about family…and as many polygamous societies have shown, a family can have multiple husbands and wives in it.
If you are bisexual, androgynous, or heteroflexible, you don’t have to force an individual partner to be everything. It is better to have some provisions for allowing additions than to ask one person to spin plates like love is a circus.
Sounds like when you’re with men too long, you miss women, and when you’re with women too long, you miss men. Be with both. You could even join a couple who is looking for someone as versatile as you. It’s 2015. Nobody needs closet dysfunctions anymore.
I am a male that enjoys anal penetration , I am not saying that I am 100% straight because I do have homosexual feelings but my wife gladly will Pegg me instead have me go have sex with another man. It makes the relationship work and yes I do enjoy penetrating her as well…
yolo
you basically said she does it to keep you…
and she is devaluing her feminine self. Her natural female sexuality.
This is very selfish of you.
@Yolo, I think you are the epitome of what Ironwynch is talking about. Men coercing women they supposedly care about into doing things they find repulsive with the threat of going to a man or hooker to get it. She only “gladly” pegs you to keep you around and probably hates herself after. When she finally gets the nerve to divorce your sorry ass I truly hope she explains to all your friends and family what the real reason was.
All of your trolling mental prostate massaging reminds me of the time I fucked myself in the ass with a big black dildo, while I was fucking my girlfriends ass with my not as big but big enough white cock, while she was making sweet mouth love to her smoking best friend’s pussy. For a second, between my bouts of intense withholding of release, I looked down and tried to draw lines and make labels, but to my relief I couldn’t. It was just to heavenly.
Good for you! 🙂 Those of us who actually care about whether or not our partners are enjoying the sex as opposed to how kinky or “progressive” it is, reserve the right to decline offers from whoever we please. Now run along and find someone who is actually impressed with attempts to socially coerce people into activities they are uncomfortable with.
Well, well, well. The article really misses the mark.
And it really misses the most fundamental thing about human sexuality –the nature of sexual attraction. The notion that because a man wants to get pegged (which is an incredibly pleasurable event) he must be gay or bi, is just plain non-sensical.
An opinion such as that one is about as simplistic and naive as can be. The writer seems to equate buttholes with vaginas… they are different organs! And the butthole on the male has a sexual pleasure button (called the prostate) that enhances orgasms 10 fold.
A guy is either attracted to females sexually, psychologically, emotionally, etc. OR he’s attracted to other guys sexually, psychologically and emtionally….. but regardless of what their preference is, every man has a prostate and massaging that prostate greatly enhances the pleasures of orgasm. The straight man seeks out a woman to give him that pleasure, and a gay man seeks out another man to give him that pleasure. It’s that simple.
I think the author of the article dislikes gays, but doesn’t have the guts to say it. Obviously she thinks gays are the lowest of the low on the social hierarchy ladder!! when she wrote:
“…demanding this from us [women] just convinces us that you are Gay, Bi, or worse, in denial or a pussy. ” Hmmmm… that you are “gay, bi (bad, bad) or worse…..” Clearly the homophobe writer of this article cannot abide HER MAN acting in any way that she perceives to be womanly. I think she feels threatened by gays.
You are welcome to think whatever you like, but the text on the page is what it is. A literate person understands that I’m simply against sexual coercion and using women as beards without their consent. Since it’s clear that you can read, it’s fair to say that the article likely just struck a nerve, and you decided to attempt to lie about it, as if it would somehow magically change what was actually said…or you didn’t read the article, and are just reacting to what some other liar told you about it.
In case you missed the point, let me make it clear for you: Women are not required to do anything with anyone that we do not want to do for whatever reason. It does not matter if you think the NO is for a good reason, or if you think the NO is for a bad reason. It is a NO, and NO means NO.
Got it?
So the next time you read an article in which a woman says, “I don’t like…” then let her have her preferences and move on. It’s not your business.
And the next time you are with a woman, and you suggest an activity, and she says, “I’m not into…” or, “I’m not comfortable with…” then just take the fucking NO, and get the fuck over it.
Dan Cobb
You use the word natural…
It is not natural for a woman to have a dick. Only men have those. Women have vagina’s. It is not natural nor is it possible for a woman to penetrate a man or a woman.
Not natural. So for a man to physically and naturally want to be penetrated, it is ‘non-sensical’ for a man to seek a woman.
Society is too steeped in homophobia, which drives men who go here(pegging) into the further parts of the closet.
“Feminists have made it a “thing” by promoting the idea that pegging will bring a couple closer together. Indeed it may if the guy is a latent homosexual or near asexual who can’t be stimulated enough through his penis, and doesn’t mind his wife going out to shag more masculine men.”
What do you mean by “homosexual”, “asexual”, and “masculine”? The question may seem elementary, but I’ve been through enough debates on gender and sexuality to know that subtle nuances in definitions can completely alter the meaning of an argument, and the number people that use any one definition is small, meaning that most like, the person you’re conversing with uses different definitions.
I have a dick (in other words, being a man), and at one point, I was averse to having sex with virtually all other people with dicks, thus I called myself not a homosexual. Images of a nude man without the companionship of a woman repulsed me.
And then after reading glowing reviews of the Aneros line of prostate massagers and the amazing pleasure and orgasms they provide, I got one myself.
The experience was a revelation. After training with it for a couple sessions, I entered into a whole new pleasure-scape, the quality and intensity of which I’ve never seen before.
I got off purely on the pleasure and not on some fantasy that the toy was the cock of another man (I generally have poor imagination when it comes to masturbation anyways), a case you claim is extremely rare here:
“Now IF (and it’s a big if) you are one of those extremely rare exceptions (I actually found one and only one, five pages into Google, and I suspect he’s one of those very masculine top-straights who may occasionally sexualize feminine men and just not tell anyone) who does not like any sexual contact with men, never fantasized about sex with men, and never imagine while being pegged that it is a man shagging you,”
If you visit the forums of Aneros or any other manufacture or anal toys for men, I think that you’ll find that it is the case and not the exception that the men in those forums get off on the pleasure of the toy alone.
You then claim that us prostate lovers are into thinner toys that wiggle instead of thrust:
“Usually, if a guy need a dick in his ass, he is Gay or Bi. There is also a wide difference between guys who may enjoy a finger on the prostate, and something the size of a dildo. Finger on the prostate guys are more into the wiggling than the thrusting.”
And while I will admit that the Aneros Helix I own is the girth of a fat thumb and the length of a long middle finger, I and plenty of other users will use thrusting motions to heighten the pleasure, and plenty of more trained users upgrade to bigger and thicker toys comparable to dildos to heighten their pleasure.
———
“I mean…if you ever once experienced the displeasure of pulling something out of a guy covered in mucous, trails of blood and some weird possible food remnants, and a bit of poo, you can see why a girl might develop an aversion if she didn’t have one to begin with.”
You didn’t use enough lube, and you either didn’t void the bowels thoroughly, or you didn’t wash it thoroughly. These are newbie mistakes your referring to.
Just like you’d clean your vagina and penis before play, you’d also clean your anus and rectum for anal play. They are as advisable as fucking a dick covered in smegma.
Now if you’re adverse to certain things because of some disgust that can’t be described or put into words, or reasons can’t be given, that’s fine. But if your disgust stems from some sort false belief, and the error of such belief is demonstrated, like someone whom anal sex repels because they think it’s inherently unsanitary, but who is shown that it is quite simple to thoroughly clean the rectum, and you persist on maintaining your disgust, then you must accept that it isn’t justified on any rational grounds and cease believing that you’ve got good reasons to be disgusted.
Let me make something clear to you, Albert. One does not need to be rational when it comes to sex. One does not need to be objective when it comes to sex. If something arouses you or doesn’t arouse you, that is your business. Same goes for women. Nobody is obligated to do things with anyone that they don’t want to do.
That is the whole point of this article. If a woman doesn’t like butt stuff, it is wrong to try to coerce her into doing butt stuff. Bonus, if the issue that one is in the closet, and trying to force a woman to act as a male, this is also wrong. Guys need to stop trying to coerce women into doing things that we are not comfortable with. The simple solution is to find someone who is comfortable with it instead of trying to make someone be comfortable with things they are not.
If a man is not comfortable with usually being on top, of if he is not comfortable with being the primary provider, or if he is not comfortable with a little roughness, then I don’t pressure him to be something he is not. I find another dude. See how that works?
recently i tried to get back on the dating scene again so i went on POF… and strangely once again i ended up connecting with a woman that turns out enjoys emasculating men with girls clothes and a large dildo. i dont know why this happened i seriously had no intentions of doing this again … i was honestly celibate at least since the last time i wrote you. and a year later here i am again … two weeks after a very enjoyable noght getting dominated by a very firm woman who allowed me to slip into character easily as a sub gurl servicing her dildo orally and begging for it anally. and the toy was bigger and more satisfying than ever before. but the fallout is that two weeks later and now seperated by 1200 kms. i am left with a hollow space inside me that is still hungry for more and i have had my homosexual urges return in full force. i am trying to avoid it but again i am faced with a choice and unsure which way to turn… i read this and hope this is the answer to my dillema… : It is commonly agreed among most researchers that anxiety about homosexuality typically does not occur in individuals who are same-sex oriented, but usually involves individuals who are ostensibly heterosexual and have difficulty coming to term with their homosexual feelings and impulses.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/381537
Hello anonymous 🙂 You did a good thing by seeking out someone with the same interests as you from the start. I can understand the identity crisis though. I think some of the problem is the boxes we put people in, and the conflation of desires with identity. It does not make you Gay or even Bi to be curious or to have homoerotic fantasies about men. It’s actually quite normal. I think it is part of some sort of hierarchical impulses born of admiration that sort of crystallizes into a sexual fantasy. Not every guy has full blown fantasies, but so many do that it is normal, even if it’s not universal. Also, bear in mind that many supermasculine very high testosterone type men regard feminine men as something like females. I’ve seen some unconsciously show chivalrous behavior towards feminine men, and more masculine boys provide protection on the playground for some of their more bookish peers. It’s not that they all actually want to have sex with feminine men, but sometimes things can go that way.
What makes you Gay is when you seriously prefer sex and romantic relationships with men, and what makes one Bi is when they are seriously not gender picky and don’t feel anything crucial is missing with someone on either far end of the gender spectrum. Your desires are an important indicator of who you are, but there’s a desire and then there is a necessity. Gay means that you need a man…that if someone is not a man, important things are missing from the relationship. If you’re more bottom, it may be the way that a more dominant man contains you. If you are more top, it may be the special way that a feminine man nurtures you in a way that is distinct from born females.
Before you do anything rash, consider that statistically, Gay-Gay is somewhat rare. If your fantasies about men are strictly sexual and have no emotional content, then chances are, you’re not Gay. You’re just wondering what it’d be like to bang a dude. You’ve explored being dominated and penetrated by a woman, and now you’re wondering what that experience would be like with a man whose penis is attached to him. If it’s just sexual, I can’t say whether you should go for it. It depends how strong your curiosity about that is.
If it has emotional content though, it is definitely worth it to find a caring dude to take you through it. Either way, be aware that there are many messed up people out there, and use your brain and your gutt to find someone truly psychologically safe to lose your man-cherry to.
Wherever this journey takes you, let it take you to an honest place, where you and whoever you’re with get your needs met, and nobody is getting exploited. It is much more important that your interactions be honorable than it is which gender they are with.
You got back there, because she picked up that you desire men. You need to take them time and find yourself and deal with your phobias that society/family etc have put you in a place where your nature maleness is devalued and you are acting out these unnatural expressions. Sexuality (homo/bi/hetero) is natural expressions. Men had dicks, not women.
[Blah blah blah] narrow minded. [blah blah blah] limited views [blah blah blah] You really ought to [blah blah blah]
Vual, I’ll give you a chance to actually read the post and then respond. You seem to be responding to things I didn’t say or imply. This is my personal blog, and I stated my personal opinions. If you’re going to be here, at least read the posts. If not, and you’re just looking for someplace to justify your existence, make your own blog.
Your post sounds more like the crap the responders here in the comment section say in defense of their pegging proclivities. Preaching to women how they Should be ashamed if they judge a man for sticking dicks in his ass. Pretending the perversion of the male being satisfied is more important than the females autonomy and right to boundaries. The level a pervert will go to try and justify his perversion and recruit facilitators is amazing to behold. Sociopathic…
women don’t have dicks Charlotte
women are devalued enough in the world and now some men are expecting women to unnaturally function as men is sad.
IronWynch, thank you for existing! I practiced pegging with my husband (his request) and the only thing this has done is to bring us apart. Not only my husband obsession with bigger dildos going in his ass has been growing but also this seems to be the only was he can get off. I feel emotionally and physically abandoned. I feel like it’s just a matter of time before he leaves me for a man. He swears he’s not gay but even though I am an attractive woman he makes me feel like I don’t exist. He’s a good man but we are both unhappy. Adding this practice into our marriage did not spiced things up. It was more of an escape. I left me feeling sad and confused but as mentioned in the original post this didn’t just popped in his mind all of a sudden. He always fantasied with it. He doesn’t care to please me. Good luck to all others out there he claim that this practice has made your lives better, I am happy for you guys. Just hope you don’t end up like me. I do think my husband is either gay or bi but time will bring the answer…
Thank you for posting about your situation. I have been where you are, and it is pretty devastating. You should prepare yourself, either for the end, or for going your separate ways sexually. For most families, the latter is harder, but better in the long run. Friendship seems like the consolation prize when you’re young, but as you get older, you see that it is extremely valuable. If you are otherwise emotionally very close, he’s still family even though you have incompatible sexual orientations.
A Brazilian guy explained it to me once. Where he’s from, people tend to be very realistic, and not break a marriage unless the two really can’t live together. He says it like this: every marriage becomes celibate eventually. Every. Marriage. Either someone gets old, someone gets sick, or someone gets bored. If everyone either left or suffered in silence when the inevitable happened, marriage wouldn’t exist because nobody would sign up for it. When stuff happens, a couple should talk, and open the marriage within certain limits. They should consider that there’s a whole world out there full of dick willing to give it to whoever asks, but love is hard to find.
So if you love him, he loves you, and you get along, try taking the pressure off. If that resolves the stress, then there you go. Just determine that you’re not going to jet as soon as some new guy comes along talking a good game. Men and women are still different, and he should still be your protector, and not let other guys harm you. You should do the same for him and not allow trash in your home. The kids should never know what is going on until they are at least 20.
If you just can’t live together, and get no comfort from each other, then you probably married the wrong guy anyway. This is someone you would have no use for if his dick stopped working for some reason.
Just think before you jump either way. Blessings and good luck. Let me know what happened.
Hello there… [blah blah] your narrow closed minded point of view. [blah blah blah]
Please actually read the post before commenting.
Hmmm
Pegging
So it’s wrong to get a woman to do it cause is coersing?
It’s wrong and it also probably makes them gay because you cohersed her into?
OK. I get that
So That’s the repetitive theme in all the comments and replies and context in the article.
Now let’s look at it this way-
Pegging
A woman WANTS TO AND IS WILLING to peg a man for sexual pleasure
The man ENJOYS THE FEMALE DOMINANCE of her pegging him thats stimulates his prostate
Is it still wrong and make the guy gay when the woman wants too and the guy only wants it from the woman? I’m pretty sure there are woman out there like that. And I’m pretty sure there are guys out there that strictly want a woman doing it.
And to play devil’s advocate:
There are toys designed to be inserted into the womans vagina that extends out to penetrate. No strapon on needed. Girl now can get pleasure from giving
Even with a traditional strapon on, there is still some clitoral stimulation.
A guy getting pegged is gay because is a penis like contraption- huh? I mean because of the anatomy, doesn’t it have to be penis shaped? Or banana shaped. Or cucumber shaped. So I guess if it’s a rounded off cylinder, it’s automatically a penis? I mean what else are you supposed to use? A ball? Something In a shape of a square? Maybe triangular shape?
Yes, the article has valid points when woman is cohersed onto doing it.
Now, of the woman aren’t cohersed and are willing and wanting, that’s a whole new article.
Whenever you use a threat, including the threat of losing you, to get someone to do something that is against their beliefs or disgusting to them, etc. then it is coercion. It’s wrong when women do it to manipulate men or men do it to manipulate women.
Those devices that supposedly offer mutual pleasure, I’ve tried them, and they don’t work well. The women end up getting someone else’s shit in their urethra and vaginal area. A device that would actually work would be well, a rubber lower torso that wouldn’t offer a woman any stimulation at all.
You’re not talking to some naive conservabitch who’s never tried anything. I have been around that block, saw the Gay hiding in the dildo closet too many times, and got tired of being dudes’ Gay man with a vagina.
…and yeah a phallic object is a phallic object. If you stick it in your orifices, it’s there to replicate a phallus.
I Just Read Way Too Much
DOMINANCE. When sex of any kind is described as DOMINANCE, which is not what sex is, then it is clear the persons have some issues. When I have sex with a woman I am not dominating her. When any male animals copulates in nature he is not dominating the female.
You need to understand what a phallic symbol is. Small or big the strap on or dildo is a phallic piece made to represent nature ie the penis.
Ok. Ok. I get your point.
Seems like we are avoiding the 2nd scenario tho:
Pegging when the woman likes it, is NOT coeresed into it, is NOT manipulated into it, and the woman is actually into it.
But oh well. Good article about a moment in your life and your take on what happened to you.
Since it is a highly personal and biased article, I can’t really see your points being valid in everyone elses pegging relationships.
I already allowed for the 2nd scenario in the article and in almost every comment I’ve made on the subject. Why is this so hard for you? Why do you have such a problem with the idea that most women are not into pegging, and find the idea or actual experience similar to attempting sex with robotic arms and tweezers at best, and bathing in sewage at worst? Sure some women in the world are sexually aroused by shit. I personally am somewhat aroused by many situations that would scare the living crap out of the average person…but the difference between you and me is that I have no interest in imposing my desires on other people, or even asking that they consider engaging in them in the name of “tolerance” as opposed to actual desire. I’m just not into actually non consensual rape/sex under duress. Duress does not turn me on.
It would be the same issue if I were a 50+ year old man swallowing toxic medications to please my wife. That’s sex under duress too. It’s a marriage. Instead of being tolerant of all sorts of harmful crap, people should be tolerant of life and nature…the fact that different people may want different things, especially over time, and that we don’t stay 20 forever.
The idea of pegging still came from a man. Women go overboard to hold onto their man. Men can easily jump from woman to women in a way women don’t so easily and a lot of that is wrapped up in biology and nature.
When we deal with homophobia towards men in society, the issue of pegging will diminish in the small percent.
I strictly believe that pegging is a homosexual act.A man and a woman could not engage in pegging 5000 years ago when we were not civilized enough to make
strap on dildos.Of course if a man enjoyed having an erect penis inserted in his
anus he would have to go to another man to fulfill his wild desires and would of course be called gay for that.In other words it is something unnatural.Does a self respecting loving and feminine woman loves to have her ass pounded? I guess not.
As a self respecting and successful businessman from India who has a very loving
and caring feminine wife and lovely children who respect and love their father,
pegging becomes a self destructive and shameless act for me.
The problem I see in your country and in western civilization in general that men are not allowed to be men anymore.Masculinity and competitiveness is looked upon as thing of disgust.Just as motherhood is necessary for a civilization to prosper, so is manhood that of course has brought humanity to where it is today.
More than that these two behavioral and natural traits of the sexes provides a healthy environment for your children to grow up as normal and healthy human beings.I see lack of moral principles and self respect as a very disturbing truth of your country.You have lost all the pious ideas and lovely natural thinking of the once great christian american state during the 1940’s.No wonder your civilization is undergoing a very serious social breakdown.
Sumit, thank you for weighing in. This discussion needed an Asian perspective.
It does not escape me that the ones pushing hardest for “anything goes” are Americans of European ancestry who are, for the most part, very disconnected from their heritage. They can’t learn the lessons of their past, even on the level of a kinky German or French person, because they’re in a sort of stubborn denial.
Though no place or culture is perfect, those that are older have been over the cycles of desperation to decadence enough times to understand that too much decadence is as much an enemy as too much strictness. We need to find a balance…and part of that is accepting that one can’t have it both ways. One simply can’t do a thing and that action not have any consequences or affect on them or those who are closest to them.
There are ways for a person to get their freak on and still have a healthy family life. There are ways to encourage one’s partner to explore without coercion. Though our previous ideals may have been unrealistic, the answer is not to trade one unrealistic ideal for another just as bad.
Sumit Mittal
Sexual desire is natural, a man turned on by a penis or another man(or a woman turned on by another woman) is natural, not unnatural. It is unnatural for a man to desire for a woman to have a penis to penetrate him.
Hello, IronWynch, interesting topic.
I am a young Asian woman and I’m proud to say that I am an open minded, non judgmental person who strongly believes that everyone can do whatever they want unless they’re hurting/harming someone in any way.
Your blog has made one and only one good point – If the woman is being threatened/forced to do that in any kind of way, then I agree 100%, she shouldn’t be pegging her partner, he shouldn’t be manipulating her to fulfill his own needs and vice versa.
About my sexuality, I am straight and I like being dominant, the idea of being dominant turns me on very much. Giving pleasure to my partner, seeing his reaction turns me on like crazy. I can not enjoy sex without it.
About my boyfriend’s sexuality, he’s straight, likes being dominated by women, anal play excites him and only because obviously, like most other straight and gay men, he’s sensitive down there.
About our relationship: We love each other, our communication is actually crazy good, we have no secrets, he’s very caring and we are very happy overall even though we face some challenges like every other couple.
About our sex life : We are very open about sex (I’m sure you can tell), we’re into kinky stuff like light-bondage, role plays, anal plays, massages (including prostate) and pegging. He makes sure i orgasm everytime we have sex. He loves giving me head and we do have normal sex. We both fantasize about ourselves when we’re away from each other.
Now, about your article and the comments you wrote:
1. “Feminists have made it a “thing” by promoting the idea that pegging will bring a couple closer together. Indeed it may if the guy is a latent homosexual or near asexual who can’t be stimulated enough through his penis, and doesn’t mind his wife going out to shag more masculine men. For most people who’ve tried it though, it has just made the woman less satisfied with the relationship, and the man left wondering why a woman he basically pressured to be the man, is no longer as interested in him.”
My boyfriend can orgasm easily without being touched in the ass, playing with his anus makes it more exciting and kinky. That is it. He strictly does NOT want me to go out and shag other so called “masculine men”, masculine men can be into pegging as well. Like come on, i’m sure you’re better than this.
We have tried it and your statement is false, i’m very satisfied about how fun and exciting it was and I am willing to do it again.
2. “Look, dudes…if you need a dick in your ass, you are Gay (or Bi). Stop kidding yourselves.”
First off, my boyfriend does NOT need a dick, he enjoys something that stimulates his prostate. And that can be my fingers or a toy. Plus he enjoys femdom and so do I. There, perfect combo for the both of us.
Second, what makes you think that men can’t get off with another man if he’s gay. This is 2016, it’s way more easier to find a gay guy to have discreet sex with than to find a girl who’s into pegging.
3. “There are not hordes of women out there dying to shove dildoes into guys.”
I’m sorry, have you done research on every woman in this world? I DO enjoy and looking forward to freaking peg my boyfriend. And trust me girl, i’m not the only one.
4. “Demanding this from us just convinces us that you are Gay, Bi, or worse, in denial or a pussy.”
This is plain homophobic. Or worse? What do you mean by that?
I will stop here, even though I can keep going. I want you to explain these 4 points as whenever someone make good points against your argument, you dismiss them and keep on repeating what you have already mentioned.
I AM a straight woman and I AM into pegging. Is it “Normal” for some people? No, but for us it is just one of the things we do as a loving couple.
It is beyond ridiculous reading someone actually stating that my boyfriend is gay or bi when it’s clear as a day that he loves me as a woman. How can you be so shallow and disrespectful?
If the article was about men shouldn’t be manipulating women by turning them into a man for their needs, then I would agree completely. But instead, it includes disgusting homophobic, judgmental tones that would hurt innocent people.
Being normal is an illusion and it’s such a shame that there are so many people who still don’t realize that, even though almost everyone has the access to educate themselves and open their eyes.
Ironwynch, next time when you write an article on such sensitive subject, I recommend you to be more respectful to others. You have no right to judge or even worse, label anyone.
I’m sorry for your bad experience but that doesn’t mean every situation would be the same as yours. Please understand that I tried my best to be as polite as possible, and I am interested in what you have to say about the 4 paragraphs I pointed out.
1. The whole world is not you. There has been research done on this. I posted a link at G4G, and most men in the survey who identify as straight are not interested in giving or receiving anal sex.
2. The whole world is not you. At a certain level of education in the social sciences from academics who are not just time fillers for institutions that only serve as overpriced match making services, you would understand what a dissonance is. Needing a phallus to penetrate one’s anus to feel fully sexually satisfied, yet claiming not to be homosexual or bisexual is a sign of one.
At the very least, they are a little Gay, or perhaps “para-Gay” like a person who fantasizes about zombies is not a true necrophiliac, but a paranecrophiliac, and furries are parazoophiles. For some reason, no other “fetish” group has an issue about their kink except the parahomosexual…and in my opinion, that is one of the worst forms of homophobia.
3. The whole world is not you. (Noticing a theme here?)
4. The whole world is not you. Most women would be disappointed to find out that the man they have been with for some time does not like their vagina. That is a bad situation to be in. It would be worse if on that new information, the guy demanded the woman not only help him live a lie in public, but function as a man, against her nature, in private.
The next time you come to someone’s personal blog where they are writing on a sensitive subject, you may want to grow a little empathy, and understand that they aren’t blogging to please you or coddle you. I am not obligated to be sensitive to your feelings on my blog. It’s about me and my feelings, and if you don’t like it, you can just fuck right off.
How’s that for insensitive?
Kelly J
do you understand how homophobia affects men differently than women?
Even to the point where men(family or friends) are afraid to show affection to each other? Yet women can be free to do so, which is also why women are more free to be bisexual.
The closet is a deep dominating place. And women by nature don’t have a penis. And will never know what it is like to penetrate. Get a 11″ dildo and you still won’t know, as he will never know what it feels like to receive pleasure inside as you do.
Just because it isn’t ‘hurting’ someone doesn’t mean it is a good thing psychologically.
People act out a lot of their problems through sex, which is not the purpose.
This is why people think beating, pain, piss, shit, spit, humiliation is sexual. And it isn’t. Those are signs of some serious internal issues. And wrong views of sex. ‘Doing the nasty’ and other terms that show how we view sex. And having to have to do it in the dark, because we see it as bad.
Now at the closet of homophobia and you have men naturally desiring penetration from a woman who does not and cannot have a dick.
IronWynch, I hope its not to late to have you read my comment. Thank you so much for speaking the truth about this topic. I could not agree more. If one is male and you want someone to put on an instrument that is the spitting image of a penis, shaped like a penis, or in anyway resembles a projectile, that male is at the very least bi and more likely a homosexual. Its time to stop allowing women like this Ruby ryder and her male and female supporters to dictate what is heterosexual or normal. It is a cultural agenda that declares everythingis OK and there is no such thing as gender or sexuality is a sliding scale. Ridiculous. Thank you for taking a stand . Stan
Thank you for the comment, Stan. Everything (between consenting adults) is actually already OK, but the problem with the cultural agenda to make everything OK is that it implies that everything is not OK, and therefore everything people do to try to be OK is OK even when it means harming others. It’s endorsement of the out-of-control and irresponsible id, which is bad.
Thankyou for being one of the few awake and sane people left in the world. I agree completely. It seems like youre only allowed to bash traditional sex and gender roles these days and pointing out flaws and cons in anything else makes one a “hater”. Xx
well i am back. quite sometime later i have returned to weigh in. i was with a woman for three years and she loved pegging me. her thrill was in using my raging hardon for her own satisfaction. she would dress me up which got me impossibly hard and shove a plug in my ass and then i would perform coitus with her without my penis going flacid. “my gay pet” is what she called me. she would peg me after for my own release. when her and i first met i believed i was straight with a secret kinky side. She used toys and feminization and encouragement to break down my barriers and show me who i really am. she helped me to accept that i dont in fact like pussy nor am i really attracted to women but that i was hiding behind my relationships with women.
i didnt believe her but found the conversation arousing. ultimately she was right i thought that her pegging me made it not gay but my ultimate desire was for men though i was too scared to admit it.
the first step for her was to get me to crossdress and role play a girl to get me used to riding her strapon. she would make me kneel down and take it into my mouth before she fucked me. i didnt realize at the time that this was simulating gay sex and i slowly got used to the fact that this is what sex had become. she began to encourage me how hot it would be to watch me be dominated by a man and i also eventually got used to the idea. she told me she was going to turn me out and encouraged me to stop living a lie to be who i really am.
over a period of three years i went from being a latent homosexual in the closet and in denial to accepting i am a homosexual though still in the closet. i tried dressing up in an outfit the other night and it did not arouse me. i do not get aroused by women any longer either and now her and i have been apart nearly a year and since then i only masturbate to gay porn. it took a long time to coax me into admitting i am gay. i always have been though i suppressed it. but i did not have to coerce her into pegging me she loved to torment me with her pussy.
for the whole second year of our relationship the only coitus i was aloud woth her was if i used the strapon. and the only way i was aloud to cum was from anal stimulation while masturbating as she watched and encouraged me to give in and be gay. at one point her and i were apart for seven months and i fiercely tried to take my manhood back refusing to accept that all our play was anything more than fantasy. so when i came back to her again “straight” she humoured me and aloud me to have coitus with her without any cross dressing or anal stimulation and much to her satisfaction i performed miserably. i would get hard making out but then as soon as i was inside her i would go flacid. i just couldn’t get into it. one night as i sat naked on the edge of the bed she stripped in front of me and bent over spreading herself and exposed her self to me she spanked herself and twerked in front of me and i stayed soft and flacid. she began to question me: why wasnt i hard, why dont i like pussy, what makes me hard, why are you still in denial etc.etc… it didnt take long for my penis to respond to her telling me i am gay. She called my attempts at being a dominant man pathetic and it was clear to me i am not aroused by pussy. it was over the next year she began to intensify my training. now our sex talk was all gay she was very clear that she was pegging me to train me to be with men. she used bigger and bigger plugs on me to open me up for the real thing. she took great pleasure in bringing me, a latent homosexual, out of my shell to admit and accept that I only ever used women to keep from having to accept what i really am. She enjoyed the power over me and enjoyed watching the look on my face with every level of acceptance i achieved in realizing what i really am. i think that any man who wants to have a woman peg him when she is not really into it is missing the point. it is far more erotic and rewarding to be pegged by a woman who loves and embraces the femdom role. who will help him to realize his true nature. the eroticism is far more rewarding. the pleasure greater. and when you finally accept what you are and are ready to step out into the real world and find what you really want, a big strong man who will make you submit to him, you will finally be fullfilled. i am still in the closet bit i no longer look to women to fill a need they are not equiped to fill.
Thank you for sharing. I am happy that you are doing well, and that you are getting to know and accept yourself better. Have you found this helpful in other areas of your life as well? I’m told that once someone just faces it, they find themselves thinking more clearly in many ways…like it frees up space in your mind or rearranges the thought priorities. Has this been true for you?
I never had intrest in men….
I’ve been married for 4 years and me and my wife just started pegging and we both really liked it… She fucks me with a 9″ strap on and it feels amazing… I experienced a new kind of orgasm… My wife says she never saw me this horny… She loves to do me… And also we have a double ended didlo and we use it together… One head in me and the other in her… Its the ultimate pleasure… I invite every man on the planet to try pegging… You’ll love it…
[censored because it’s the same canned fantasy we’ve already heard thousands of times with no relevant personal content]
I’m happy that you and your wife have found something that you like. It’s just not something for which recruiting is appropriate, and not everybody has to like what you like.
Just, when you look back on this 10 years from now, and regret that you spent so much time trying so hard to be straight, when you could have had a man, don’t say nobody tried to fish you out of your self hatred.
James, you live in and come from a society that is homophobic more directed at the man than the woman. Women freely express their bi/homosexuality and even female(no sexual) affection because they don’t have the same societal judgment) Men cannot even cry or hug with ought being accused of being gay. Fathers get looks when they show their sons affection.
The closet is a deep place. And by nature women don’t have dicks. Period. Sex is nature/natural and no other male animal goes looking for a female to be penetrated by. Dildoes are made after the male sexual organ. Women don’t have dicks. I don’t care how big the dildo is, she will never feel you inside, like you feel her inside. She will never know what it is like to be inside you. Because females by nature don’t have penises.
Personally, I have no interest in been pegged. I’m a male and the thoughts of it really turns my stomach.
I’ve not heard the term until very recently, and when I discovered what it was all about I thought it a joke of some kind. A quick look on my favourite porn site however showed me all to clearly that pegging was a real thing.
That’s a video I won’t be getting out of me head anytime soon!
Personally, I like women. I don’t want anything in me thank you very much. I like women that aren’t afraid of their femininity. Holding a feminine woman and making her orgasm is the best feeling a man can have. I don’t even like anal with women. I want their vagina around me not her arse.
The problem is – are there any real women out there left? Just as dating sites are full of very strange men wanting to be pegged a lot of the women on such site seem also to be very strange. The vast majority seem to be mildly depressed with no intentions of dating anyone. One site I go on has had the same group of women saying the same thing for years.
There are real women left, but as I said in another article, those of us who shop online always have some kind of issues. If you’re lucky, it’s that they don’t have a lot of time, energy, or budget for the clubs and such. Most of the time it’s that they’re overly cerebral and not really interested in meeting, or there is something wrong with them that would repel many guys if they met offline, but online they can pretend to be someone they aren’t.
The place to meet real women is still real life. For a time, dating sites seemed like a nice, efficient way of meeting people, but the creeps drove most women back to the pubs and clubs. Where you may still be able to find someone decent online is in specific interest sites. In groups and forums where you share common interests, strike up a conversation and see where it goes.
People are pushing a lot of stuff that try to substitute natural sex. And by natural I’m talking heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual.
Needing all kinds of contraptions and toys to get somewhere sexually that would should be able to do as if we were like the animals.
People equate ‘golden showers and scatt’ with sex. And shows how unnatural humans can be.
A man that desires a ‘dick’ inside him, is a closeted bisexual/homosexual man. And does not respect the feminine/female nature of a woman. And woman that will go a long with it will do whatever to keep him.
Late to the party. Just want to add, I agree with you so so much, ironwynch. I’m a straight female fascinated by male sexuality in general and especially by this strange pegging thing and what an actual straight man who loves female anatomy could possibly get out of this. And after years of researching this topic on the net, I’ve come to the conclusion that actual straight men just don’t find that feeling of being fucked up the ass appealing (this is not to say that all gay men enjoy it either as some really don’t, but my point is I think enjoying the feeling of being fucked, stretched, etc is more than just plain old prostate stim and requires something going on in the receivers mind to allow you to enjoy the stretching, fullness, etc as much or maybe even more than PIV sex or just prostate massage). To desire that friction of a penis shaped object going in and out and being receptive of something larger than a finger or two, means there is something more going on there psychologically. Men who enjoy the feeling of beings fucked can and often will escalate to man on man anal and STILL tell themselves in their head that they are 100% straight cuz “no homo and no emotional connections brah”. It is really a sad head game they are playing with themselves. A man who enjoys pressure/stimulation of his prostate is one thing; it is sexuality-neutral and you do not need something penis shaped to accomplish that so to all of you saying a dildo/penis shaped item is necessary, lol c’mon. When you need the dildo to get that prostate pleasure, the thrusting, the in and out, the feeling of being fucked becomes what you are into, trust and believe you will NEVER be satisfied until you experience “the real thing;” it will have become about more than your prostate once you get so deep into the feeling of being fucked. It is unnatural for an actual straight man to desire the feeling of being fucked because women necessarily cannot naturally fuck him. Now unless you posit that all men are inherently, biologically bi and built to be fucked in the ass by the only human creature that can actually get the job done without toys, i.e. men, therefore the feeling of getting fucked is capable of turning any man on, then i think we agree it is unnatural to be straight, into bio women AND be into the feeling of a dildo inside you. I think it is quite obvious those of you who enjoy the fullness, the stretching of your hole and inner anus, and the in and out are enjoying a penis in your ass EXACTLY the way and for the exact reasons many women enjoy a penis/dildo, plug inside their vagina. This is not a bad thing of course, and you can self identify however you like, but push come to shove, you’d take the real thing in your ass and probably realize you are way more bisexual than you had thought. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A MALE AND DESIRING A PENIS TO FUCK YOU; IT JUST IS NECESSARILY, BIOLOGICALLY SPEAKING A MORE LIKE A FEMALE’S NEED OR DESIRE TO BE PENETRATED BY BIO MALE ANATOMY AND NOT A STRAIGHT THING. KEEP THRUSTING! 🙂
Totally agree.
Nature is what we go by a heterosexual man will not desire to be penetrated (by a man or woman with a strap on)
A man that desires to be penetrated desires a penis and only men have a penis.
I think it is a further degrading of the human female and her sexuality by wanting her to wear a fake dick(made after another man) to penetrate him.
I agree with your article, and also to those citing the prostate orgasm as a real thing, it’s not. The prostate orgasm is another search for the holy grail. Those who claim it’s existence are a majority of people from the Aneros website and Reddit. Also, any ”scientific” papers written on this only cite anecdotal experiences from the –who could’ve guessed– Aneros website, Aneros being a prostate massager company. Aneros even claims that a prostate orgasm can take years of ‘rewiring the brain’ to acheive. The community of the prostate orgasm is kept afloat by the pursuit.
https://www.webmd.com/men/features/sex-fact-fiction#1
Also, An article I wrote on the subject.
https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/95u1tr/prostate_orgasm_a_fetishist_belief/ includes citations and scientific studies.
WebMD also acknowledges the prostate ‘orgasm’ as likely to be a myth.
https://www.webmd.com/men/features/sex-fact-fiction#1
Also, a post I made on reddit furthing my argument. Citations included.
https://www.reddit.com/user/indeeditistimetostop
Reddit, as most places on the internet that supposedly rate all opinions the same whether they’re educated or not, but somehow censor opinions that don’t fit whoever’s arbitrary sensitivities, seems to have a problem with your post. Feel free to repost it here in the comments. Here, someone who has questioned the prostate orgasm is likely to find it, and I can filter out the idiots and keep the reasonable debate.
A woman can and will never know how it feels to be inside a man or a woman. It is nature. I don’t care how big the dildo or how hard she tries to ‘imitate’ a man, there will only be plastic between her and the guy. Same a man will never know the vaginal pleasures a woman feel because the anus is not equivalent to a vagina. The comparison is just disrespectful.
Our society and the individual needs to rid themselves of these bi/homophobic ideals that stop the individual from being able to naturally flow sexually to where they naturally need sex.
Strap on sex is a sign of the deep closet of the mind soul and society.